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your master what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French Doctor my master, (1 may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house, and I wash, wring, brew, bake, fcour, dress meat, and make the beds, and do all myself).
Sim. 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's: hand.
Quic. Are you a-vis’d o' that? you shall find it a great charge; and to be up early and down late. But notwithstanding, to tell you in your ear, I would have no words of it, my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page ; but, notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, that's neither here nor there.
Gaius. You jack’nape; give-a this letter to Sir Hugh: by gar it is a Thallenge. I vill;cut his troat in de parke, and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make-You may be gone ; it is not good you tarry here; by gar I vill cut all his two stones; by gar he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog.
[Exit Simple. Quic. Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
Caius. It is no matter' a ver dat : do you not tellame, dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? by gar I vill kill de jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our weapon; by gar I vill myself have Anne Page.
Quic. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well: we must give folks leave to prate; what, the good-jer!
Caius. Rugby, come to the court with me. — -Ву gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door : follow my heels, Rugby.
[Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Quic. You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that; never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do, nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heav'n.
Fent. [within] Who's within there, hoa ?
Quis. Who's there, I trow? come near the house, I pray you.
SCENE XI. Enter Mr. Fenton. Fent. How now, good woman, how dost thou ?
The loves you.
Quic. The better that it pleases your good Worship to aik.
Fent. What news ? how does pretty Mistress Anne?
Quic. In truth, Sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way, I praise heav'n for it.
Fent. Shall I do any good, think'st thou shall I not lose my suit ?
Quic. Troth, Sir, all is in his hands above, but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book
Have not your worship a wart above your eye?
Fent. Yes, marry, have I ; and what of that?
Quic. Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread; we had an hour's talk of that wart. I shall never laugh but in that maid's company! but indeed she is given too much to allicholly and musing;
-Well Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day ; hold, there's money for thee : let me have thy voice in my behalf. If thou feest her before me, cominend me
Quic. Will I ? ay, faith, that we will; and I will tell
your Worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence, and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewel ; I am in great hafte now.
[Exit. Quic. Farewel to your Worship. Truly, an honest gentleman, but Anne loves him not. I know Anne's mind as well as another does. Out upon’t, what have I forgot?
but for you
A C.T II.
S CE N E I.
Before Page's house.
Enter Mrs. Page, with a letter. Mrs. Page. Hat, have I scap'd love-letters in the
holy-day-time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them ? let me fee. Ask me no reaso11, why I love you ; for thoʻlove use rea
fon for his precisan, he admits him not for his coun-
By me, thine own true Knight, by day or night,
John Falstaff What a Herod of Jewry is this? O wicked, wicked world ! one that is well nigh worn to pieces
age, to show himself a young gallant! what unweigh'd behaviour hath this Flemilh drunkard pick’d, i'th devil's name, out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner asfay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company; what should I say to him? I was then frus gal of my mirth, heav'n forgive me; why, I'll exhibit à bill in the parliament for the putting down of mum*: how shall I be revenge’d on him for revenge'd I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
SCENE II. Enter Mrs. Ford. Mrs. Ford. Mrs. Page, trust me, I was going to your house.
Mrs. Page. And trust me, I was coming to you; you look very
ill. Mrs. Ford Nay, I'll never believe that; I have to fnew to the contrary.
Mrs.Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind.
Mrs. ford. Well, I do then: yet I say, I could shew you to the contráry. O Mistrets Page, give me some counsel.
Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman !
* A fatten'ng liquor much in use among the Flemings, as he had called nim a Flemish it' unkard a few lines betore; and it is to be nv. served, that, abru he time when thi play was written, there were on fivot several bilis in parliament for reftraining the use of firo, quors, supprefling the multitude of mali sters, and the great brewing of ftrong beer, and .eguiaring inns, taverns, and alchoules.
Mrs. Ford. O woman ! if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour.
Mrs. l'age. Hang the trifle, wonin, take the honour; what is it? dispense with trifles ; what is it?
Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted.
Mrs. Page. What, thou lyeit? Sir Alice Ford! these Knights will lack, and so thou shouldit not alter the article of thy gentry.
Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light; here, read, read; perceive how I might be knighted : I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of mens liking; and yet he would not fwear; prais'd womens modeity; and gave such orderly and well behav'd reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have fworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere, and keep place together, than the hundredth Pfalm to the tune of Green Neeves. What tempest, 1 trow, threw this whale, with so many tun of oil in his belly, alhore at Windsor? how shall I be revenge’d on him? I think the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like ?
Mrs. Page. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs. To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter ; but let thine inherit first, for, I proteit, mine never shall. I warrant, he has a thouiand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names; nay more; and these are of the second edition: he will print them out of doubt, for he cares not whaç
puts into the press, when he would put us two I had rather be a giantess, and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chalte man.
Mrs. Ford. Why,this is the very fame, the very hand, the very words; what doth he think of us?
Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not; it makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honelty. Til entortain myself like one that I am not acquinted withal; fer, fure, unless he knew fome strain in me, that i know
not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.
Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call it you? I'll be sure to keep him above deck.
Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be revenge'd on him; let's appoint him a meeting, give him a Thow of comfort in his fuit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his horses to mine Host of the Garter.
Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will confent to act any villany against him, that may not fully the chariness of our honesty. Oh, that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy.
Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes, and my good man too; he's as far from jealousy, as I am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance.
Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman.
Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this greasy Knight. Come hither.
Ford. Why, Sir, my wife is not young.
young and old, one with another, Ford ; He loves thy gally-mawfry, Ford, perpend.
Ford. Love my wife?
Pift. With liver burning hot: prevent, or go thou, like Sir Adeon, he, with Ring-wood at thy heels---0, odious is the name.
rd. What name, Sir ? Pift. The horn, I say: farewel. Take heed, have open eye; for thieves do foot by
night. Take heed ere summer comes, or cuckoo-birds afright.