Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to GrowSimon and Schuster, 2010/05/08 - 450 ページ The classic New York Times bestseller about the many forms of loss we experience throughout our lives, and the necessity of letting go. In Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst turns her considerable talents to a serious and far-reaching subject: how we grow and change through the losses that are a certain and necessary part of life. She argues persuasively that through the loss of our mothers’ protection, the loss of the impossible expectations we bring to relationships, the loss of our younger selves, and the loss of our loved ones through separation and death, we gain deeper perspective, true maturity, and fuller wisdom about life. She has written a book that is both life-affirming and life-changing. Drawing on psychoanalysis, literature, and personal experience, Necessary Losses is a philosophy for understanding and accepting a universal human experience. “One of the most sensitive and comprehensive books about the human condition I have read in a long time.” —Harold S. Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People “Viorst has synthesized a vast amount of research into a very readable and generous whole.” —The New York Times Book Review |
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18 ページ
... start to become aware of the ways in which our responses to loss have shaped our lives can be the beginning of wisdom and hopeful change . JUDITH VIORST Washington , D.C. 1 The High Cost of Separation Then there is the 18 INTRODUCTION.
... start to become aware of the ways in which our responses to loss have shaped our lives can be the beginning of wisdom and hopeful change . JUDITH VIORST Washington , D.C. 1 The High Cost of Separation Then there is the 18 INTRODUCTION.
25 ページ
... responses : pro- test ; despair ; and , finally , detachment . Take a child from his mother and put him with strangers in a strange place and he will find the living arrangements intolerable . He will scream , THE HIGH COST OF SEPARATION ...
... responses : pro- test ; despair ; and , finally , detachment . Take a child from his mother and put him with strangers in a strange place and he will find the living arrangements intolerable . He will scream , THE HIGH COST OF SEPARATION ...
26 ページ
... coldly , treating her with a distance , a blankness , that almost seems to say , " I never saw this lady before in my life . " This response is called detach- ment - it is a shutdown of loving feelings — 26 NECESSARY LOSSES.
... coldly , treating her with a distance , a blankness , that almost seems to say , " I never saw this lady before in my life . " This response is called detach- ment - it is a shutdown of loving feelings — 26 NECESSARY LOSSES.
27 ページ
... responses to being abandoned . And it also may be a defense - which can last for hours , or days , or a lifetime — a defense against the agony of ever loving , and ever los- ing , again . Absence makes the heart grow frozen , not fonder ...
... responses to being abandoned . And it also may be a defense - which can last for hours , or days , or a lifetime — a defense against the agony of ever loving , and ever los- ing , again . Absence makes the heart grow frozen , not fonder ...
31 ページ
... responses to that experience , onto what we expect from our children , our friends , our marriage partner , even our business partner . Expecting to be abandoned , we hang on for dearest life : " Don't leave me . Without you I'm nothing ...
... responses to that experience , onto what we expect from our children , our friends , our marriage partner , even our business partner . Expecting to be abandoned , we hang on for dearest life : " Don't leave me . Without you I'm nothing ...
目次
15 | |
34 | |
The Private | 51 |
Lessons in Love | 66 |
THE FORBIDDEN AND THE IMPOSSIBLE | 81 |
Passionate Triangles | 100 |
Anatomy and Destiny | 115 |
Good as Guilt | 130 |
Saving the Children | 205 |
Family Feelings | 223 |
Love and Mourning | 237 |
Shifting Images | 265 |
Grow Old I Grow Old | 284 |
The ABC of Dying | 305 |
Reconnections | 325 |
BIBLIOGRAPHY | 413 |
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adolescence adult American Psychoanalytic Association analyst anxiety argues baby become Benjamin Spock boys brother called child childhood daughter dead death describes discussion dreams dying early ego ideal emotional envy experience fantasies father fear feel female friends friendships girls give Greenspan and Pollock grief grow guilt hate Hogarth Press human husband Ibid ideal identification identity infant inner James Strachey Judith Viorst latency let go Liv Ullmann live male marriage married means mid-life mother mourning narcissism narcissistic necessary losses never normal oedipal Oedipus complex old age ourselves pain parents passion patients penis penis envy person phase poem psychological reality Redbook relationship role says sense separation sexual sibling Sigmund Freud sister sometimes stage Standard Edition Stanley Greenspan studies superego symbiosis talk tell tion uncon unconscious Viorst W. B. Yeats wife wish woman women writes York