WHEN Howick (now valorous Grey's with the dead)
Was call'd to the great House of Peers,

To find a successor their faction to head,
All the Talents were set by the ears.

First Whitbread's and Petty's pretensions they view,
To repel Ministerial attacks;

But the one is found fit but bad porter to brew,
And the other bad portër to tax.

Next Sherry steps forward, a chieftain so bold,
All declare that he 's plenty of spunk;

But, alas! when the leader 's most wanted, we're told,
This hero, perhaps, may be drunk.

Then Windham so fickle, and others so base,
Themselves to the station would thrust,
But Windham 's too honest, they say, for the place,
And t' other no party can trust.

Heroic Fitzpatrick declares he 's too old ;
Great Milton they own is too small;
Lord Archibald vows he the station could hold,
But the rest think he could not at all.

At length All the Talents in England are weigh'd,
And not one of the number found fit
To encounter the plain honest wisdom array'd
In the true British followers of Pitt.

At last to Ierne they doleful repair,

And Ponsonby's call'd into wonder ;

But no one can tell what the deuce led them there;
Yes the national failing-a blunder!

ODE TO THE PRESENT ADMINISTRATION.

[From the same, Jan. 8.]

HILE Britons mourn with downcast head,

WH

Their Pitt entomb'd, their Nelson dead,

Statesmen, to you, with tear-swoln eye,

They turn a surety to descry;

Their

Their country from disgrace to save,

Long govern'd by the wise, supported by the brave.

Thus hid in gloom, when whirlwinds sweep
The surface of the rolling deep,

The friendly beacon's steady light

Cheers the desponding seaman's sight;-
Thus doom'd 'mid dreary wilds to roam,
Delights the trav'ller's breast-the path that leads him home.

In your exalted forms we view
The will Ambition to subdue,
With talents of superior kind,

The Patriot's zeal, the Patriot's mind,-
Honour, best guardian of our trust,

And hearts alive to truth-high-principled and just..

Say ye, who lately left the helm,
The scorn of an insulted realm;
What boots or wisdom, wit profound,
Or wealth or ancestry renown'd,
If, in the thirst of power confess'd,
Religion be debas'd, Integrity suppress'd?

What of enlightened Greece the sway
*Reduc'd, and hasten'd to decay
Athens, in arms, in science great,
The glory of a mighty State;

But vice, and luxury, and pride,

And disregard of all for which her heroes died?

.

What, Europe, in these venal times,
Thou scene of faction, folly, crimes!
Bids thee, obsequious, bend the knee
To an Usurper's tyranny?

Th' extinction of that godlike rage,

Which prince and subject fir'd in ev'ry former age.

But not in all;-the truly brave

Oppression never can enslave.

Undaunted, see! to catch the gale,

The Lusian Prince now spreads the sail;

Resolv'd in other climes to reign,

Where gleams no despot's sword-no tyrant's galling chain.

So

158 ON MR. PERCEVAL'S SKILL IN ARITHMETIC.

So while Corruption's lawless band.
Pervade and waft each neighb'ring laud,
With pride and gratitude we own,

To guard from ill the British Throne,
Fair Virtue stands-repelling Guile,

Firm as the massy cliffs that gird this favour'd isle.
Hence, Britons, hence our grandeur springs,
And Commerce, foster'd, spreads her wings;
Hence o'er the seas, from pole to pole,
Our num'rous fleets triumphant roll;
Hence are we free and great in arms,

While states, yet unsubdu'd, are pallid with alarms.

And while with stern, yet social mien,
The nymph Integrity is seen

In all our councils to preside

Our chiefs to sway, our statesmen guide,

By George's upright soul inspir'd,

England shall brave the world-fear'd, honour'd, and ad

Jan. 4.

mir'd.

I. B.

ON MR. PERCEVAL'S SKILL IN ARITHMETIC.

[From the Morning Chronicle, Jan. 8.]

AWAY with every flimsy joker!

For Perceval's as wise as Cocker:
What Statesman ever took more pains
To learn abilities in gains?

His mincing skill in state-transactions
Attests his nicer skill in fractions ::
The Premier-figure statesmen sigh for,
He changes to an empty cypher;
His wants, with public means, supplies,
And by subtraction multiplies.
The old ones at St. Stephen's school
Confess he knows the golden rule;
And Erin-to her sad derision,
Admits he 's good at long division;
For, like his late illustrious friend,
Erin he makes his dividend;
And Erin swears, not even Pitt
Was half so great at "tear and threat."

THE

THE TALENTS, AN EPIGRAM.

[From the Morning Post, Jan. 11.]

"Rous'd from their sloth, they 're all in action-
Sleep flies the pillow of-a faction."

ALL drowsy-dull-inactive lay

ANON.

"The Talents"-while in place they kept;
Expell'd from office-Presto! they
So restless grew, not one since slept.

Hist! jovial Sherry-honest, speak-
Why now "The Talents" are awake?
Dick, with a hiccup swore by Moses-
His brother outs so feel the pain
Of beds of thorns, that they again
All wish to lie on" beds of roses.”

PUNCTUM SALIENS.

THE TWO BOBADILS.
[From the Morning Chronicle, Jan. 16.]

AMIDST the follies of the age,

When wars infuriate nations wage,
Without or sense or reason;
Two fools of most transcendent fame,
R-n-d-ph and Hy by name,
Have chatter'd out of season.

The Peer humbugg'd the public mind,
And promis'd that the force combin'd
Would march with ease to Paris *

But the vain gasconading word
Of one who never wore a sword,
'Tis teh to one, miscarries.

R-nd-ph, a furious prating elf,

(As wise as H

-y himself,)

The Peer (at that time a Commoner) made this vaunting speech

in Parliament, relative to the Duke of Brunswick's army.

A

Th

The Prince of Yankee Doodles,

Cries "From our coast the English beat 4-
Go take Jamaica and the fleet."

Oh, precious pair of noodles!

THE TWO GREAT NATIONS.
[From the Morning Chronicle, Jan. zr.]

MR. EDITOR,

WE

E are told that superior beings look down upon. the affairs of this lower world, and frequently smile at the frolics and quarrels of mankind. If so, I think they must reap abundant pleasure in contemplating the relative positions of the two great nations, as they wish to be thought-England and France. These magnanimous powers have long been fighting against one another, and now they are trying to starve each other. After ranging over the whole globe in search of invasions and conquests, they are now doomed to solitary confinement, and the nation that can subsist longest on bread and water is to be the conqueror. Such is the dignity of human nature! O for another Rabelais or a Swift!

Smollett,. in his Peregrine Pickle I think, gives us the exploits of two heroes, whose friends would not permit them to fight a duel-it was barbarous, and. insufficient to decide with justice. They therefore were persuaded to funk each other with tobacco, and he that was first sick was to declare himself vanquished. Smollett describes with his usual humour the clouds and volumes of smoke which the parties discharged on. each other, being the only weapons allowed: and in these parties I think I see France and England; and in the clouds and volumes of smoke, a very happy emblem of the Moniteur of France, and the Morning Post and Courier of England.-Yours, &c. A MISANTHrope.

+ Vide Mr. Rh's speech in the recent meeting of the Ame rican Congress.

A POETICAL