*

To compare knaves with kings was a little unguarded, When so lately the King all the knaves has discarded; From Gambier, Cathcart, Popham, their court cards to steal, Is a bungling attempt that insures a lost deal;

But the winnings and losings 't is easy to fix,

What they've gain'd by their honours, he has lost by his trick.

ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY.
[From the same, Feb. 8.]

WANTED,

A COUNTRY Gentleman, who will undertake to move

a vote of censure upon His Majesty's Ministers, for the expedition against Copenhagen. He must be a member for some respectable county, whose senti. ments he may despise, by a promise of a peerage-of some talents, which he must be ready to prostitute→ of some character, which he must be prepared to renounce. He must be hardy enough to assert, that Bonaparte never had a design to force a maritime combination against England-that he is the last person to break the laws of neutrality-and that if he wished to compel Denmark to take part against us, or to turn her fleets against Great Britain, he had not the powerthat Denmark was always favourable to us, and determined to maintain her neutrality at the risk of her existence. He must also be ready to contend, that the Danish fleet in the power of Bonaparte, would have given himno additional means to control Russia, to conquer Sweden, to invade England; and that there is not the least shadow of proof, either that Bonaparte meant

"Any person, however justly censured by the proper tribunal, may say, I will try other cards; if a king loses, a knave wins, so 'here it goes again.' Thus a new trump turns up, and the man who was lately condemned is put to command those who condemned him."Mr. W-db-m, H-c C-mm-s, Thursday, Jan. 28, 1808.

to

to invade Denmark, or that Denmark was disposed to accede to his demand. Lastly, he must be ready to assert, that any Ministers ought to be brought to the scaffold, who would not consent to see their country perish, rather than prevent, against its will, the fleets and armies of a neutral power being converted to our destruction.

Proposals to be received at C-lf-d House, and other places of notorious resort.

The terms have been above stated, which are considered to be liberal. None but principals to be treated with.

No allusion to be allowed to the expeditions to Madeira, to the Dardanelles, nor to Lisbon, nor to the principles or conduct of the late Administration.

SONG ON THE NEW AFFAIR OF COPENHA GEN (NOT LORD NELSON'S).

[From the Morning Chronicle, Feb. 15.]

TELL us no more of old Nelson's renown,
How in doughty fair battle he conquer'd the Dane,
Since Canning's the boy who could batter a town,
And filch a whole navy by legerdemain.
Rise, Homer! arise from the dead, thou old pagan,
And sing how our force,

Like the fam'd Wooden Horse,

Stole as sly as a thief into old Copenhagen.

What though the Crown Prince was our cousin and crony, And might from the French have defended his crown, We sav'd him the trouble of fighting with Boney,

And tripp'd up his heels, lest he should be knock'd down. The French might their soldiers have knock'd on the head; But we only slew

Little children a few,

And kill'd a blind man as he lay in his bed.

But

168 NEW STORIES ARE BUT OLD ONES RETOLD.

But think, God have mercy! what would have become of us
Had Boney embark'd with ten ships of the Dane,
They had eaten us up for a breakfast, though some of us
Say, like fools, that our tars would have beat them again.
But, thanks to the Lord! it ne'er came to that push;
Stol'n waters are pleasant,
Though hard fighting is n't-

And a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Think only had we been so foolishly civil
As give Bonaparte a day to advance;
Though Zealand 's an island, the conjuring devil

Would have froze up the Belt with his chemists of France';
Then down on our shores, when it thaw'd, in a trice,
Our tars would have struck to him,

For Satan brings luck to him:

Oh! our Jacks would have squeak'd in his talons like mice. Then as for the Irish, those rascally fellows,

Though we treat them as kindly and fair as we can,
Yet to help an invader with pikes and shillalas,

Their very old women would rise to a man;
Yea, the church is the quarry their priests would be at,
In her heart they would fix
Popish archbishopricks;

And our church would be ruin'd; oh! think upon that.
But was it not better, blocks, timber, and ropery,
To find in a dock-yard, just made to our hand,
Than suffer our ships to be beaten, and popery
And riotous Paddies to ravish the land?

Then good luck to our rulers-sweet rope-stealing elves,
May they reap their reward

From the timber and cord,

And may nobody grudge them a rope to themselves.

NEW STORIES ARE BUT OLD ONES RETOLD. [From the Morning Herald, Feb. 23.]

IT would not be believed, if we did not quote the passages, that the Annus Mirabilis of Dryden, his poem upon the year 1666, could supply four stanzas so strictly applicable as the following to present cir

cumstances.

cumstances. The comparison would work itself; but we take the liberty of prefixing to each stanza, its application.

PREMATURE PEACE WITH FRANCE.

Thus mighty in her ships stood Carthage long,
And swept the riches of the world from far;
Yet stoop'd to Rome, less wealthy, but more strong:
And this may prove our second Punic war!

THE LIBERTY OF THE SEAS.

*

Such deep designs of empire does he lay
O'er them whose cause he seems to take in hand,
And prudently would make them lords at sea,
To whom with ease he can give laws by land!

St..

St. 9.

DENMARK IN THE CONFEDERACY AGAINST ENGLAND!
With France to aid the Dutch the Danes unite,
France, as their tyrant, Denmark as their slave;
But when with one three nations join to fight,
They silently confess that one more brave.

LET US NOT STOP IN OUR COURSE.
Already, we have conquer'd half the war,
And the less dang'rous part is left behind:
Our trouble now is but to make them dare,
And not so great to vanquish, as to find ! `

St. 42.

St. 303.

KING-MAKING.

[From the Public Ledger, Feb. 1.]

"What! will the line stretch out to th' crack of doom ***

SHAKSPEARE.

BONAPARTE makes and unmakes Kings, and

obliges them to change places and territories, with as much levity as we have seen puppets dance about at a puppet-show. The Queen Regent and the young

VOL: XII.

*Louis XIV,

I

King

170

King of Etruria, have been removed from the stage, in some other scene, and are to make their appearance under some other titles; which they will be suffered to keep, till it suits the King-maker to put some other puppets in their places. He began by making himself Emperor of France; and next, King of Italy. The Master-manager then thought it necessary to create a number of dependent Kings and Princes, and to change the titles of others. With a kind of harlequin speed, he touched the Emperor of Germany, and he was changed into the Emperor of Austria." Quick, presto, be gone!" the scene changed, and crowns descend upon the heads of the Electors of Bavaria and Saxony, and the Duke of Wirtemberg. Another change of machinery, and brother Joseph is converted into a King of Naples, while brother Louis is transformed into a King of Holland. A Duke of Tuscany vanishes, and up start a King and Queen of Etruria. Sometimes we see them dispersed in different countries; and next we find them all at the Court of the King-maker, relaxing themselves from the fatigues of royalty, and dancing charming quadrilles, to the great edification and entertainment of their ministers and subjects. Here a King of Naples setting to a Duchess of Berg; there His Highness of Berg footing it to Her Neapolitan Majesty; the Empress of the French and the Queen of Italy kindly condescending to go down the middle with His Dutch Majesty, while his illustrious Consort changes sides with the King of Etruria; meanwhile, the august Founder of the Dynasty of the fourth race smiles complacent upon the Princes and Princesses of his creation; and their Highnesses the Princes of Benevento, of Neufchatel, of Lucca, and Ponte Corvo, hand ices and refreshments to the assembled Majesty of the Crowned Heads of the Continent of Europe. The Royal circle of dancers is likely soon to be further increased by the addition of fresh Kings and Princes.

Portugal