"Fair play!" cried little Peterkin,
"Why, 't was a very naughty thing;
Kill women! sack a peaceful town!
And plunder what was not their own;
Why surely every one must say,
That this was very naughty play."
"No, no, my boy, they said," quoth he,
"The English had the victory;
The service too was priz'd so dear,
The King made each a mighty Peer."
"A Peer!" rejoin'd the little prater,
"What's he? a man? or something greater ?"
"A Peer is-what I'm not quite sure-
He gets a pension when he 's poor :
That is, whene'er he can't afford
To be the thing they call a Lord.”
"I'm glad that neither you nor I
Are Lords," replied the simple boy:
"Let England war with women then,
We'll never fight with less than men."
The placid old man griev'd to find
What errors cloud the new-born mind;
"Poor ignorance! away," quoth he;
"Go, read the New Morality* ;

And then, my child, you 'll cease to wonder,
Why praise should sanction lawless plunder;
Why solemn Senates should applaud
Ruthless rapine, shabby fraud;

·

Why, in this enlighten'd season,
Force should be the better reason;'
In every case why greater might,
Should constitute superior right;
And why such things must always be
The fruits of such a victory.
But in, my boy; the sun is down,
And all his cheering heat is gone;
The evening dew is on the leaves,
And lo! the modest twilight weaves
Of clouds that wander west away,
Her fairy robe of night and day."

* Sec page 162.

POLITICAL

POLITICAL DIALOGUES,

BETWEEN AN OLD AND A YOUNG OPPOSITIONIST.

[From the Morning Herald, March 26.]

JUNIOR. If

DIALOGUE I.

UNIOR. If you have half an hour to spare, pray explain to me now, what the means are, by which you have so often said we may hope to rise into

power.

Senior. In the first place, you know, there is the good old revolutionary way.

Junior. I thought that had been exploded.

Senior. Exploded! Revolutions indeed are so far exploded, as that they are not now as much admired as they have been; but the policy of pursuing a revolutionary course to a certain point, at least, will never be relinquished, till we are in power, ay and till we are well secured there. As to a revolution itself, we are far from having any exact intentions upon the subject, at present. The greater part of the people, who have any thing to lose, and even some quizzes of our own side, who have estates, are possessed with a notion, that revolutions are nothing but schemes for robbery, in which the perpetrators, instead of being proscribed themselves as robbers, are able to proscribe those whom they have robbed, and finally, either by force or fear, to remove them from their sight. We are therefore, as a body, far from any exact intentions upon the subject; nor are they necessary; it will be time enough to choose, when there shall be a nearer opportunity for effectual choice. For the present, it is sufficient, that the working of the revolutionary machine is the most powerful means of embarrassing Government, ever yet discovered; and in that way it answers our purpose, whether it have any other effect,

or not.

Junior. How so?

Senior. You surely cannot require me to enumerate the many descriptions of men, who, in a populous, a commercial, and luxurious country, will attach themselves to those who hold revolutionary language, and will labour more zealously in behalf of the chance they suppose to be connected with us, than they ever did in the conditions from which they are fallen, or in the professions or trades from which they are renegade. You are not so young, but that you must know them yourself; from the "omnes, quos flagitium, egestas, conscius animus exagitabat," to the

66

Which

-fickle changelings and poor discontents,
gape, and rub the elbow, at the news
Of hurly-burly innovation."

We have many more classes in our days, than Sal-
Just or Shakspeare thought of, and the number is
continually increasing; there is something so contri-
butory to our own complacency, in imputing every
disappointment to politics, rather than to any deficiency
in ourselves, and something so flattering to idleness and
'pride to look to politics for a remedy, instead of any or-
dinary course of exertion. Then, what think you of the
nuribers, whom mere conceit and presumption bring to
us, without much impulse from pecuniary circum-
stances, or other necessity-the hope of philosophists to
have every one his opportunity for trying his own
scheine upon the frame of society-the insolence of
the vulgar, monied or unmonied-and their dislike of
all the qualified classes?-Well, all these are de-
votedly with us, and who would part with them, al-
though revolutions may be, as you say, exploded? And
let me add, that these are not only useful in them-
selves, but highly useful for the effect which, through
them, "weak agents though they be," we can pro-
duce, upon others, upon some of the Grandees, our

new

of

new friends, for instance, whom we can, at any time, hold up to them as the enlightened and patriotic· -, the philosophical and liberal-minded-of and for whom we can thus procure a buzz of applause, which we find tickles them mightily, after the hisses some of them have before heard in public, and the distaste of all the real blessings of Providence, under which others of them have been dawdling out their too easy existence in private.

Junior. But how will all this bring us into power, if the revolutionary machine, as you call it, do not produce a revolution?

Senior. Thus.-After a time, our numbers having greatly increased, our language becoming every day more and more threatening, and our new allies having gone so far with us, that they must go farther, if we require it, the abler part of the loyalists will begin to flag in their resistance to us, as defence, you know,. is ever less inspiriting than attack, and the mere wellmeaning part of the people will be confounded with the length of the contest, so as to take little share in it. Then the Court will be alarmed, and propose to make terms with us; among which, you may depend upon: it, will be one measure,—one measure, which shall put it out of the power of either court or people to be rid of us, within any time we need care about. That point carried, and it will be our first demand, other conditions, you know, will be immaterial.

Junior. In my opinion, you will not find the Court so easily alarmed, and all this gossamer fabric of yours will dissolve, as others have dissolved, the moment they choose to exert themselves. Have you any other means?

Senior. We have; but really this faculty of opposing, which you, like all young beginners, bring inte play, both in and out of season, has wearied me, and put me too much out of humour, for attempting your

K 4

further

C

further edification, at present. If you can be less fastidious, when we meet again, perhaps I may tell you

more.

DIALOGUE II.

Junior. You are now, I hope, sufficiently in good humour with my humble docility to explain more fully the means by which we are to rise into power-the means you would not communicate when we parted last.

Senior. Yes; if you think yourself likely to be in good humour with my humble explanation. You are perhaps already aware, that there is one plan, which invariably promotes our purpose-that of producing a sufficient quantum of public misery. In this no effort is lost, and to this every public transaction, every movement of Ministers, is exposed. In our other means of counteracting Government, the revolutionary talk, for instance, there is a sameness, a monotony; but in this there is an inexhaustible variety; it comprehends not only all possible means of opposing whatsoever Government suggests, but every proposition, which our own invention can supply, for providing them from all quarters with hostility and previous counteraction to what we may expect they will design. If we think them desirous of forming an alliance with any foreign Sovereign, we express our hope, that it will not take place, tell that Sovereign it will end in his own destruction, and advise him to ally himself with the enemy. If we know, that with another foreign power they have many serious points in discussion, so that war must ensue, if the rival state be firm, we, for the sake of peace," explain to that power how essential her friendship is to the prosperity of this country, what easy means she has of harassing us, and how certainly she must succeed, should

she