IN vindication of modest merit, I wish to stand forward in defence of a monosyllable that does not seem to be treated with the consideration intrinsically its due. By this you will perceive that I do not mean to have many words with you I confine myself to one, and, without meaning a compliment, I hope it will prove a word to the wise! Perhaps in the whole range of lexicography there is no word of more real significance than the combination of five simple letters which forms itself into the syllable "crack!" Many may be longer, but what can be more sonorous than a crack? The demand for it is universal. It is the sole business of many men's lives to crack jokes; some think it no inconsiderable treat to crack walnuts; the ladies, dear creatures, in all the violent emotions of the mind, whether agitated by love or coquetry, mirth or rage, invariably crack fans; and cudgel-players, with all the good humour imaginable, crack heads!-Candour compels me to hint, that if wives were a little. more susceptible of a crack in their reputations, husbands would not be under such peculiar and frequent obligations to a crack in their wainscots! If a dashing female sport four in hand, she instantly becomes the crack; the members of the Whip Club are the crack; and, in short, we have crack soldiers, crack sailors, crack lawyers, crack physicians, and crack divines; nay, if it might be hazarded with safety, I could venture to produce half a dozen Ministers, high in office, who are more than suspected of being crackbrained! The relatives of this necessary word are also en.titled to honourable mention. The fleets of our enemies have often acknowledged the superiority of the English English crackers; and Bonaparte himself, as may be seen by his Spanish Manifestoes, is no contemptible proficient in the language of cracking! Yours, BOB BOUNCE. DIALOGUE BETWEEN WILL AND JACK, Will. ON A LATE SIXPENNY PUBLICATION. HA [From the Morning Post, August 5.] AVE you (Jack), Whitbread's pamphlet read? But I have heard 't is horrid stuff, Of nonsense full, and sadly dull. Will. I grant you, Jack, 't is dull enough, Yet still consider that the price Ought not to make one over-nice: It is but sixpence, and, in times like these, Whether of good or bad, much is not to be had, For such a sum, of print, or bread, or cheese. Jack. Granted. Still if I purchase cheese and bread, They quickly set at rest the craving, And cure the aches, that hunger makes, Will. Such Whitbread's is, by many I've been told. Jack. 'Tis possible! But is it to be sold? Will. Of that I cannot accurately know; But politicians are state physicians, And, liking fees, it may be so. Jack. Yet tell me, Will, for I've heard said, That this same Whitbread is in trade. Will. You've heard no more than 's true, ay sure! 'Tis Sammy Whitbread, the great brewer. Jacks Jack. What, Sam, whose father drove a dray? I should have guess'd him quite as clever. And yet, like many other men, He was resolv'd to write; Who, marshall'd, stand in virtue's sacred cause, And for their King preserve their crown. Jack. Well, well, my friend, the secret 's out, There's now no longer room for doubt. Thus, if I e'er my money spend On what from this said brewer comes, I thank you kindly for your information, From this said Sam, whose head is always dizzy ; Nor Nor is his judgment sound or clear; SEA-SIDE ANECDOTES, IN A LETTER FROM BROADSTAIRS. YOUR London [From the Oracle.] abode I must try to amuse, H. W. By transmitting a sample of war'ring-place news. Between Ramsgate and Margate, I'm fix'd at Broadstairs, Like Garrick, 'twixt tragic and comical airs ; Though if actors were now drawn between the two muses, Away went her petticoats over her head (I'm (I'm told, by the bye, that they once sported more, What I know the fair owners all wish to conceal. She's a nice little morsel, just ripe, but not mellow, I've been here a whole fortnight, and though you cry fie on I am told that from Margate and Ramsgate the belles FASHIONABLE ARRIVALS. [From the British Press.]. THE following list is selected from a series of the returns of the fashionable arrivals at one of the most celebrated of our watering-places, during the present season:→→ t Mr. and Mrs. Bull, Master and the two Miss Bulls, Mr. and Mrs. Cowdroy, Doctor and Miss Cowan, Major and three Miss Bullocks, Rev. Mr. Oxberry, Sir T. Metcalf, Rev. Mr. Hide, two Miss Skinners, Colonel and Miss Ram, Miss Julia Ram, Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom and family, Mr. A. Ramsay, the Chevalier de Mouton, Mr. and four Miss Trotters, Doctor Lamb, Captain Lambton, Mrs. Ewebank, Rev. Mr. |