fess, resembled more the dress of the sixteenth century, than that worn by a young lady of the nineteenth; and I am confident, that the Inspectors, who are to be stationed at the Pit-door of the Opera-house, selected (asI understand they are to be) from the Society for the Suppression of Vice and Immorality, will not be able to decide, whether the handkerchief conceals the antiquated wrinkles of Lady Di. Blubber, or the Parian marble whiteness of Sophia Pouter; whilst the petticoat, by a very simple process, in a moment becomes like an inflated bladder, and extends itself some six or eight inches from that part of the body which (one of the Patentees expressing herself, as she called it, scientifically) is most liable to that degree of contact and collision, eventually producing attraction, and, ultimately, adhesion.-Judge, then, my astonishment, when, in one instant, by untying two small strings, suspended by gold tassels, the handkerchief formed a most beautiful ruff, extending from the point of one shoulder to the other; and by the simple contrivance: of a small peg, inserted into a silken tube, communicating with a satin bag hung upon the left arm, the air is extracted, and the extended muslin petticoat once more hangs in graceful folds, and trains along the ground, giving full scope to all those effects which were so scientifically explained already, leaving them entirely bare, and displaying at the same moment

"What Jews might kiss, and infidels adore."

Nor, Sir, did this ingenious contrivance stop here; for the bag also contained a small regulator, which being fixed in the precise time of "one quar.. ter of an hour after eleven," the air returns, and the petticoat again assumes its inflated shape, as well the ruff its original form.

as

Now, Sir, if this wicked invention is suffered to become in fashion, I fear the salutary endeavours of the Managers

E 5

Managers of the Opera-house must be totally put a stop to; and the hopes which I had entertained of seeing my dear Sophia seated in the pit by the side of some of the Saints, will also be at an end. I shall therefore defer my intended journey to London, till I know whether the wise regulations intended to be adopted are carried into execution, as they ought to be; or suffered to be destroyed by an attempt, as wicked as it must be offensive to the morals of those respectable persons who are in the habit of frequenting that delightful rendezvous of fashion, and which, until this time, has never experienced the happy prospect of uniting true decorum * with rational amusement. I am, Sir,

Your very obedient and very humble servant,

THEOPHILUS POUTER.

PURIFICATION BY GAS.

A NEW DISCOVERY.

[From the Morning Chronicle, Dec. 26.]

MR. EDITOR,

AMONG the discoveries of the last century, none is brought forward with greater pretensions to public notice than the producing from common coal a species of light, which far exceeds, in clearness and brilliancy, any previously discovered modes of illumination. But how much soever it may have been the subject of the florid declamations and pompous advertisements of chemical lecturers and puffing nostrummongers, one property of the gas, and a very valuable property too, has apparently escaped the notice of the various speculators on the subject, or at least they have left me to make the discovery of its utility. This discovery it is not my intention to hedge within a patent, nor to petition for an Act of Parliament to force

* See p. 147.

it down the throats of His Majesty's subjects, but leave the benefit of it open to the public.

You are, doubtless, Mr. Editor, no stranger to that natural phenomenon the Grotto del Cane, in Italy, in which poor dogs are suffocated, and if held in the vapour a few seconds after they are insensible, are killed beyond recall; and the fact of what is called the firedamp in coal-pits, destroying animal life, is too well known by the many instances of poor men lowered into it, being drawn up lifeless corpses. You may be asking what this all tends to? Why, Sir, should not we think it a glorious thing, if we could either drive or entice all our vermin into the Grotto del Cane, or into the fire-damp? This, Sir, we cannot do; but my discovery does what is fully as efficient; it brings the grotto to the vermin. I am about constructing a movable furnace, with all the proper machinery, and all the flexible pipes, by which I can convey the gas into any house, or any part of a house, and let those who doubt of its destroying the vermin, stop in the house and watch its progress, if they dare. Any gentleman, who has a range of old buildings, may discharge the disagreeable tenants at an hour's notice; the Royal Palaces may be cleared of vermin, and even reptiles, without the assistance of Mr. Tiffin, the Bug-catcher Royal; and I should be happy to try an experiment on the vermin in the House of Commons, it appearing, from some late surveys, that its foundation is nearly undermined by them. A student is reported once to have refused the loan of his bellows out of his room, adding, that, if the petitioner chose, he might come and blow there all day. Now this was niggardly. I do not invite the House of Commons to come to me, but shall be too happy if the House suffers me to make trial of my discovery there. I shall not aspire to a vote of thanks, but shall rest my hopes on the gratitude of my country.

I am, Sir, yours,

MISO-HUM.

OF VARIOUS

ANTICIPATION

ARTICLES OF THE

GENERAL EVENING

POST OF SATURDAY AFTERNOON, SEPT. 26, 1907 *,

IT

[From the General Evening Post, Oct. 3, 6, 8.]

POSTSCRIPT.

LONDON.

Tis a pleasing circumstance, that the wars which agitated the close of the Eighteenth, and the rise of the Nineteenth Centuries, should have subsided into a state of such profound tranquillity. Since the total extirpation of the NAPOLEONEAN race, and the restoration of the CAPETIAN line, France, contracting herself within her ancient limits, seems to have be come fully sensible of the absurdity of her attempts at universal domination, in which she wasted her own strength, while she harassed and destroyed the kingdoms of Europe. She now sees, that her true interest does not accrue from turning the ardent and volatile spirits of her sons into the channels of unjust and barbarous warfare; but in employing their ge nius in the cultivation of the arts and sciences, literature and commerce, and their strength in the cultivation of the earth. Since the restoration of the Royal race, the people seem to have turned their attention to the historic page, where they have beheld, in the Records of TREASON and REBELLION, which stain the folios comprising the dreadful periods of the USURPATION, a series of barbarous and distressful events, that excite at once in their bosoms horror and indignation. They see, as in a reflecting mirror, how the passions of their ancestors were seized upon by a succession of parties, composed of persons who ought to have been termed ASSASSINS rather than HEROES,

*This very ingenious jeu-d'esprit was written by JOSEPH MOSER, Esq. who about this time was a voluntary contributor to that respectable Paper.

and

and CRAFTSMEN rather than STATESMEN; and their darling propensity to extend dominion, a propensity too much encouraged even by their legitimate monarch, Louis XIV. made a pretext to cover and satiate the ambition, avarice, and rapacity of a few, by turning the multitude loose upon the neighbouring na

tions.

Thank Heaven! those times of terror have long since passed! ENGLAND, whose valour and fortitude braved the storm, and whose NAVY, through the whole scene of political confusion, rode superior to the o'erwhelming torrent, has well deserved the appellation of "THE SAVIOUR OF EUROPE," with which she has, for near a century, been honoured. She has seen, for a long course of years that have since elapsed, the happy effects of her opposition to the Corsican Usurper. While, from the general result of her salutary system, the surrounding kingdoms, flourishing in peace and plenty, have long seemed tacitly combined to pour into her lap the riches of the world..

We shall, in some future paper, resume this interesting subject; in the mean time we must observe, that, although universally respected abroad, we feel, in some degree, the evils of opulence at home, of which the next paragraph, which we have extracted from a respectable Morning publication, is a striking instance :

"We learn that the sensation of the fashionable world has been immense, from an apprehension generally prevalent, that Madame CATTERSQUALLI would, in a fit of indignation, leave the kingdom; as we understand, from high authority, that she feels herself exceedingly affronted in having so paltry and contemptible a remuneration as ONE THOUSAND GUINEAS per NIGHT offered her for the exercise of her transcendant abilities. The Directors of the new OPERA-HOUSE, built on the site of KENSINGTON PALACE, were in the greatest consternation when her in

tention