like the women too (forgive my folly), Our trifling bankruptcies in the Gazette, from the rich peasant-cheek of ruddy Our cloudy climate, and our chilly women,


All these I can forgive, and those forget, ! large black eyes that flash on you a And greatly venerate our recent glories, volley

And wish they were not owing to the Tories. Oi rays that say a thousand things at once, 1 the bigh dama's brow, more melancholy, Bat clear, and with a wild and liquid But to my tale of Laura,--for I find


Digression is a sin, that by degrees Heart on her lips, and soul within her eyes, Becomes exceeding tedious to my mind, Soft as her clime, and sunny as her skies. And, therefore, may the reader too dis


The gentle reader, who may wax unkind, Ese of the land which still is Paradise ! And, caring little for the author's ease, Italiaa Beanty ! didst thou not inspire Insist on knowing what he means, a hard Raphael

, who died in thy embrace, and vies And hapless situation for a bard. With all we know of Heaven, or can desire, be what he hath bequeath'd us ?-in what guise,

Oh, that I had the art of easy writing Though flashing from the fervour of the What should be easy reading! could I scale lyre,

Parnassus, where the Muses sit inditing Teuld rords describe thy past and present Those pretty poems never known to fail,

glow, While yet Canova can create below ? )

How quickly would I print (the world w? :)

delighting) A Grecian, Syrian, or Assyrian tale;

And sell you, mix'd with western senti"lagland! with all thy faults I love thee

mentalism, still,"

Some samples of the finest Orientalism. Tad at Calais, and have not forgot it; like to speak and lucubrate my fill ; Ilile the government (but that is not it); But I am but a nameless sort of person, like the freedom of the press and quill; |(A broken Dandy lately on my travels) like the Habeas Corpus (when we've got it); Ànd take for rhyme, to hook my rambling I be a parliamentary debate,

verse on, Particularly when 'tiš not too late ; The first that Walker's Lexicon unravels,

And when I can't find that, I put a worse on,

Not caring as I ought for critics' cavils; be the taxes, when they're not too many; I've half a mind to tumble down to prose, I like a seacoal-fire, when not too dear; But verse is more in fashion-so here goes. I like a beef-steak, too, as well as any; Lore no objection to a pot of beer; like the weather, when it is not rainy, The Count and Laura made their new That is, I like two months of every year.

arrangement, And so God save the Regent, Church, and which lasted as arrangements soinetimes do, King!

For half a dozen years without estrangeWhich means that I like all and every thing.

They had their little differences too;

Those jealous whiffs, which never any Our standing army, and disbanded seamen,

change meant: Pear's rate, Reform, my own, the nation's In such affairs there probably are few debt,

Who have not had this pouting sort of Our little riots just to show we are freemen,


From sinners of high station to the rabble. Iba talking thus, the writer, more especially O pomen, would be understood to say, But on the whole they were a happy pair, Be speaks as a spectator, not officially, As happy as unlawful love could make them; And always, reader, in a modest way; Perhaps, too, in no very great degree shalihe. Their chains so slight, "twas not worth while Appear to have offended in this lay,

to break them: Sipe, as all know, without the sex, our The world beheld them with indulgent air;

The pious only wish'd “the devil take them!" Weald seem unfinish'd like their antrimmd He took them not; he very often waits, bonnets. And leaves old sinners to be young ones'

baits. (Signed) PRINTER'S DEVIL.

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But they were young: Oh! what without This is the case in England; at least w

our youth During the dynasty of Dandies, now Would love be! What would youth be Perchance succeeded by some other cla

without love! Of imitated imitators :- how Youth lends it joy, and sweetness, vigour, Irreparably soon decline, alas !


The demagogues of fashion: all below Heart, soul, and all that seems as from Is frail ; how easily the world is lost


By love, or war, and now and then by fros But, languishing with years, it grows un

couthOne of few things experience don't improve, Crush'd was Napoleon by the northern Thor Which is, perhaps, the reason why old Who knock'd his army down with ic fellows

hammer, Are always so preposterously jealous. Stopp'd by the elements, like a whaler,

A blundering novice in his new Frene

grammar; It was the Carnival, as I have said Good cause had he to doubt the chance Some six and thirty stanzas back, and so

war, Laura the usual preparations made, And as for Fortune-but I dare not dWhich you do when your mind's made up


Because were I to ponder to infinity,
To-night to Mrs. Boehm's masquerade, The more I should believe in her divinit
Spectator, or partaker in the show;
The only difference known between the cases
Ishere, we have six weeks of "varnish'a She rules the present, past, and all to be ye

She gives us luck in lotteries, love a


I cannot say that she's done much for Laura, when drest, was (as I sang before)

yet ; A pretty woman as was ever seen,

Not that I mean her bounties to disparag Fresh as the Angel o'er a new inn-door, We've not yet closed accounts, and Or frontispiece of a new Magazine,

shall see yet With all the fashions which the last month How much she'll make amends for pa wore,

miscarriage; Colourd, and silver-paper leaved between Meantime the goddess I'll no more impo That and the title-page, for fear the press

tune, Should soil with parts of speech the parts Unless to thank her when she's made i of dress.


to go

They went to the Ridotto ; - 'tis a hall To turn,--and to return;-the devil take i Where people dance, and sup, and dance This story slips for ever through a again;

fingers, Its proper name, perhaps,were a mask'd-ball, Because, just as the stanza likes to make i But that's of no importance to my strain ; It needs must be--and so it rather lingen T'is (on a smaller scale) like our Vauxhall, This form of verse began,I can't well breaki Excepting that it can't be spoilt by rain : But must keep time and tune like publ The company is “mix’d" (the phrase I

singers; quote is,

But if I once get through my presel As much as saying, they're below your


I'll take another when I'm next at leisur


For a “mixt company” implies that, save They went to the Ridotto: ('tis a place Yourself and friends, and half a hundred To which I mean to go myself to-morrow


Just to divert my thoughts a little space Whom you may bow to without looking Because I'm rather hippish, and may borror


Some spirits, guessing at what kind The rest are but a vulgar set, the bore

face of public places, where they basely brave May lurk beneath each mask, and as in The fashionable stare of twenty score Of well-bred persons, called “the World;" Slackens its pace sometimes, I'll make, o but I,

find Although I know them, really don't know Something shall leave it half an hou why.




a score.

Now Laura moves along the joyous crowd, He was a Turk, the colour of mahogany; Smiles in her eyes, and simpers on her lips; And Laura saw him, and at first was glad, To some she whispers, others speaks aloud; Because the Turks so much admire phiTo sore she cartsies, and to some she dips,

logyny, Complains of warmth, and this complaint Although their usage of their wives is sad; avow'd,

'Tis said they use no better than a dog any Her lover brings the lemonade, she sips; Poor woman, whom they purchase like a She then surveys, condemns, but pities still Her dearest friends for being drest so ill. They have a number, though they ne'er

exhibit 'em,

Four wives by law, and concubines “ad One has false curls, another too much paint,

libitum.” A third-shere did she buy that frightful

turban? A fourth's so pale she fears she's going to They lock them up, and veil, and guard faint,

them daily, défik's look 's vulgar, dowdyish, and They scarcely can behold their male resuburban,

lations, Asisth's white silk has got a yellow taint, So that their moments do not pass so gaily 1 eereath's thin muslin surely will be her As is supposed the case with northern bane,

nations; And lo! an eighth appears,—“I'll see no Confinement, too, must make them look more!"

quite palely: for fear, like Banquo's kings, they reach And as the Turks abhor long conversations,

Their days are either past in doing nothing,
Or bathing, nursing, making love, and

clothing Kantime, while she was thus at others

gazing, thers were levelling their looks at her; They cannot read, and so don't lisp in He heard the men's half-whisper'd mode

criticism; of praising, Nor write, and so they don't affect the land till 'twas done, determined not to stir;

muse ; The vonen only thought it quite amazing Were never caught in epigram or witticisin, That at her time of life so many were Have no romances, sermons, plays, reviews,Admirers still, - but inen are so debased, In harams learning soon would make a Touse brazen creatures always suit their

pretty schism! taste.

But luckily these beauties are no “blues,”
No bustling Botherbys have they to show 'em

“That charming passage in the last new bany part, now, I ne'er could understand

poem.” naughty women-but I won't discuss & thing which is a scandal to the land, I caly don't see why it should be thus; No solemn, antique gentleman of rhyme, bad if I were but in a gown and band, Who having angled all his life for fame, de to entitle me to make a fuss,

And getting but a nibble at a time, on this till Wilberforce and Still fussily keeps fishing on, the same Romilly

Small “Triton of the minnows," the sublime Stald quote in their next speeches from Of mediocrity, the furious tame, my homily. The echo's echo, usher of the school

Of female wits, boy-bards-in short, a fool!

Il preach

While Laura thus was seen and seeing, siniling,

A stalking oracle of awful phrase, Tuling, she knew not why and cared not The approving "Good!(by no means GOOD what,

in law) Sobat her female friends, with envy broil- Humming like flies around the newest blaze, ing,

The bluest of bluebottles you e'er saw, Panteld her airs and triumph, and all that; Teasing with blame, excruciating with And well drest males still kept before her

praise, filing,

Gorging the little fame he gets all raw, And passing bow'd and mingled with her Translating tongues he knows not even by chat;

letter, More than the rest one person seem’d to stare And sweating plays so middling, bad were With pertinacity that's rather rare.


One hatcs an author, that's all author, Oh, Mirth and Innocence! Oh, Milk an fellows

Water! In foolscap uniforms turnd up with ink, Ye happy mixtures of more happy days! So very anxious, clever, fine, and jealous, In these sad centuries of sin and slaughter One don't know what so say to them, or Abominable Man no more allays


His thirst with such pure beverage. N Unless to puff them with a pair of bellows;

matter, Of coxcombry's worst coxcombs e'en the I love you both, and both shall have m pink

praise: Are preferable to these shreds of paper, Oh, for old Saturn's reign of sugar-candy!Theseunquench'd snuffings of the midnight- Meantime I drink to your return in brandy


like men,

Our Laura's Turk still kept his eyes upo Of these same we see several, and of others,

her, Men of the world, who know the world Less in the Mussulman than Christian wa

Which seems to say, “Madam, I do y S-tt, R-4, M-re, and all the better

honour, brothers,

And while I please to stare, you'll plea Who think of something else besides the

to stay;" pen;

Could staring win a woman this had wr But for the children of the "mighty

her, mother's,"

But Laura could not thus be led astray, The would-be wits and can't-be gentlemen, She had stood fire too long and well I leave them to their daily “tea is ready,”

boggle Smug coterie, and literary lady.

Even at this stranger's most outlandish og

reap ill)

The poor dear Mussulwomen whom I The morning now was on the point mention

breaking Have none of these instructive pleasant A turn of time at which I would advise


Ladies who have been dancing, or partaki And one would seem to them a new invention, In any other kind of exercise, Unknown as bells within a Turkish steeple; To make their preparations for forsalin I think 'twould almost be worth while to The ball-room ere the sun begins to rit


Because when once the lamps and candl (Though best-sown projects very often


His blushes make them look a little pa A missionary author, just to preach Our Christian usage of the parts of speech.

I've seen some balls and revels in my tin

And staid them over for some silly reast No chemistry for them unfolds her gasses, And then I look'd (I hope it was no crime No metaphysics are let loose in lectures, To see what lady best stood out the seast No circulating library amasses

And though I've seen some thousands Religious novels, moral tales, and strictures

their prime, Upon the living manners as they pass us; Lovely and pleasing, and who still m No exhibition glares with annual pictures ;

please on, They stare not on the stars from out their I never saw but one (the stars withdrawn


Whose bloom could after dancing da Nor deal (thank God for that!) in mathe

the dawn. matics.

The name of this Aurora I'll not mentio Why I thank God for that is no great matter, Although I might, for she was noug I have my reasons, you no doubt suppose,

to me And as, perhaps, they would not highly More than that patent-work of God's i flatter,

vention, I'll keep them for my life (to come) in A charming woman, whom we like to se


But writing names would merit reprehe I fear I have a little turn for satire, And yet methinks the older that one grows Yet if you like to find out this fair ske, Inclines us more to laugh than scold, though at the next London or Parisian ball


You still may mark her cheek, oat-bloor Leaves us so doubly serious shortly after.


ing all.

Laura, who knew it would not do at all She said, - what could she say? Why not To meet the daylight after seven hours

a word: sitting

But the Count courteously invited in Among three thousand people at a ball, The stranger, much appeased by what he To make her curtsy thought it right and

heard : fitting;

"Such things perhaps we'd best discuss The Cogat was at her elbow with her shawl,

within,” And they the room were on the point of Said he, “don't let us make ourselves absurd quitting,

In public, by a scene, nor raise a din, When lo! those cursed gondoliers had got For then the chief and only satisfaction Just in the very place where they should not. Will be much quizzing on the whole trans




In this they're like onr coachmen, and the

They enter'd, and for coffee callid,- it came, Is mach the same-the crowd, and pulling, A beverage for Turks and Christians both, hauling,

Although the way they make it's not the With blasphemies enough to break their jaws,

Now Laura, much recover'd, or less loth They make a never intermitted bawling. To speak, cries “Beppo! what's your paganAt home, ogr Bow-street gemmen keep the

name? laws'.

Bless me! your beard is of amazing tad bere a sentry stands within your calling;

growth! Bart for all that, there is a deal of swearing, And how came you to keep away so long? dod nauseous words past mentioning or Are you not sensible 'twas very wrong? bearing

“And are you really, truly, now a Turk ? The Count and Lanra found their boat at With any other women did you wive? last,

Is't true they use their fingers for a fork ? And homeward floated o'er the silent Well, that's the prettiest shawl--as I'm tide,

alive! Parsing all the dances gone and past ; You'll give it me? They say you eat no The dancers and their dresses, too, beside;

pork. Sampe little scandals eke: but all aghast And how so many years did you contrive As to their palace - stairs the rowers To-Bless me! did I ever? No, I never glide),

Saw a man grown so yellow! How's your fate lagra by the side of her Adorer,

liver? Tra lo! the Mussulman was there before her.

"Beppo!that beard of yours becomes you not,

It shall be shaved before you're a day said the Count, with brow exceeding

older: grave,

Why do you wear it? Oh! I had forgot Fear unexpected presence here will make Pray don't you think the weather here is bressary for myself to crave

colder bo inport ? But perhaps 'tis a mistake; How do I look? You shan't stir from this spot hope it is so; and at once to wave In that queer dress, for fear that some All compliment, I hope so for your sake ;

beholder? fa understand my meaning, or you shall." Should find you out, and make the story "Sir," (quoth the Turk) " 'tis no mistake

known. at all. How short your hair is! Lord ! how gray

it's grown!” The lady is my wife!” Much wonder paints The lady's changing cheek, as well it might: What answer Beppo made to these demands, Be where an Englishwoman sometimes Is more than 1 know. He was cast

away faints,

About where Troy stood once, and nothing kazan females don't do so outright;

stands; They only call a little on their saints, Became a slave of course, and for his pay tead then come to themselves, almost or Had bread and bastinadoes, till somne band's quite;

of pirates landing in a neighbouring bay, Which saves much hartshorn, salts, and He join'd the rogues and prosper'd, and sprinkling faces,

became And cutting stays, as usnal in such cases. A renegado of indifferent fame.

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