who will feldom mind what fhe fays when fhe begins to harangue: For Jenny's only Imperfection is an Admiration of her Parts, which inclines her to be a little, but a very little, fluttish; and you are ever to remark, that we are apt to cultivate moft, and bring into Obfervation, what we think moft excellent in our felves, or moft capable of Improvement. Thus, my Sifter, in-ftead of confulting her Glafs, and her Toilet for an Hour and an Half after her private Devotions, fits with her Nofe full of Snuff, and a Man's Night-cap on her Head, reading Plays and Romances. Her Wit the thinks her Distinction: Therefore knows nothing of the Skill of Drefs, or making her Perfon agreeable. It would make you laugh to fee me often with my Spectacles on, lacing her Stays; for fhe is fo very a Wit, that fhe understands no ordinary Thing in the World..

For this Reafon I have difpofed of her to a Man of Business, who will foon let her fee, that to be well drefs'd, in good Humour, and chearful in the Command of her Family, are the Arts and Sciences of Female Life. I could have beftow'd her upon a fine Gentleman, who extremely admir'd her Wit, and would have given her a Coach and Six: But I found it abfoJutely neceffary to arofs the Strain; for had they met, they had eternally been Rivals in Difcourfe, and in continual Contention for the Superiority of Understanding, and brought forth Criticks, Pedants, or pretty good Poets. As it is, I expect an Off-fpring fit for the Habitation of City, Town, or Country; Creatures that are docile and tractable in whatever we put 'em to.

as

To convince Men of the Neceffity of taking this Method, let any one,, even below the Skill of an Aftrologer, behold the Turn of Faces he meets as foon he paffes Cheapfide-Conduit, and you fee a deep Attention and a certain unthinking Sharpness in every Countenance. They look attentive, but their Thoughts are engaged on mean Purpofes. To me it is very apparent when I fee a Citizen pafs by, whether his Head is upon Woollen, Silks, Iron, Sugar, Indigo, or Stocks. Now this Trace of Thought appears or lies hid in the Race: for two or three Generations.

I know at this time a Perfon of a vast Estate, who i the immediate Defcendant of a fine Gentleman, bu the Great-Grandfon of a Broker, in whom his Ancestor is now revived. He is a very honeft Gentleman in his Principles, but can't for his Blood talk fairly: He is heartily forry for it; but he cheats by Constitution, and over-reaches by Instinct.

Oba

THE Happiness of the Man who marries my Sifter will be, that he has no Faults to correct in her but her own, a little Byas of Fancy, or Particularity of Manners, which grew in her felf, and can be amended by her. From fuch an untainted Couple, we can hope to have our Family rife to its ancient Splendor of Face, Air, Countenance, Manner and Shape, without difcovering the Product of ten Nations in one House. diah Greenhat lays, he never comes into any Company in England, but he diftinguishes the different Nations of which we are compos'd: There is scarce fuch a living Creature as a True Britain. We fit down indeed all Friends, Acquaintance, and Neighbours;. but after two Bottles, you fee a Dane ftart up and fwear, The Kingdom is his own. A Saxon drinks up the whole Quart, and fwears, He'll difpute that with him. A Norman tells 'em both, He'll affert his Liberty: Anda Welshman cries, They are all Foreigners and Intruders of Yesterday, and beats them out of the Room. Such Accidents happen frequently among Neighbours, Children, and Coufin-Germans. For which Reason I fay, ftudy your Race, or the Soil of your Family will dwin dle into Cits or 'Squires, or run up into Wits or Mad

men..

N76.

I

Tuesday, October 4. 1709..

From my own Apartment, October 3.

T is a Thing very much to be lamented, that a Man muft ufe a certain Cunning to caution. People against what it is their Intereft to avoid All Men will allow,

that

1

that it is a great and heroick Work to correct Men's Errors, and at the Price of being called a common Enemy, to go on in being a common Friend to my FellowSubjects and Citizens. But I am forced in this Work to revolve the fame Thing in ten thousand Lights, and cast 'em in as many Forms, to come at Men's Minds and Affections, in order to lead the Innocent in Safety, as well as difappoint the Artificers of Betrayers. Since therefore I can make no Impreffion upon the offending Side, I shall turn my Obfervations upon the Offended; That is to fay, I muft whip my Children for going into bad Company, inftead of railling at bad Company for infnaring my Children.

THE greateft Misfortunes Men fall into, arife from themselves; and that Temper, which is call'd very of ten, tho' with great Injuftice, Good-Nature, is the Source of a numberlefs Train of Evils. For which Reafon we are to take this as a Rule, that no Action is commendable which is not voluntary; and we have made this a Maxim, That Man who is commonly call'd Good-natured, is hardly to be thanked for any Thing he does, becaufe half that is acted about him, is done rather by his Sufferance than Approbation. It is generally a Laziness of Difpofition, which chufes rather to let Things pafs the worst Way, than to go through the Pain of Examination. It must be confeffed, fuch a one has fo great a Benevolence in him, that he bears a thousand Uneafineffes, rather than he will incommode others; nay, often when he has juft Reason to be offended, chufes rather to fit down with a fmall Injury, than bring it into Reprehenfion, out of pure Compaffion to the Offender. Such a Perfon has it ufually faid of him, He is no Man's Enemy but his own; which is in Effect, faying, He is a Friend to every Man but himfelf and his Friends: For by a natural Confequence of his neglecting himself, he either incapacitates himself to be another's Friend, or makes others ceafe to be his. If I take no care of my own Affairs, no Man that is my Friend, can take it ill if I am negligent alfo of his. This foft Difpofition, if it continues uncorrected, throws Men into a Sea of Difficulties.

THERE

THERE is Euphufus, with all the good Qualities in the World, deferves well of no body: That univerfal Good-will which is fo ftrong in him, expofes him to the Affault of every Invader upon his Time, his Converfation, and his Property. His Diet is Butchers-Meat, his Wenches are in plain Pinners and Norwich Crapes, his Drefs like other People, his Income great, and yet has he feldom a Guinea at Command. From thefe eafy Gentlemen, are collected Eftates by Servants or Gamefters; which latter Fraternity are excufable, when we think of this Clan, who feem born to be their Prey. All therefore of the Family of Aftaon are to take Notice, That they are hereby given up to the Brethren of the Industry, with this Referve only, That they are to be marked as ftricken Deer, not for their own Sakes, but to preferve the Herd from following them, and coming within the Scent.

I am obliged to leave this important Subject, without telling whofe Quarters are fever'd, who has the Humbles, who the Haunch, and who the Legs, of the last Stag that was pulled down; but this is only deferred in Hopes my Deer will make their Efcape without more Admonitions or Examples, of which they have had (in mine and the Town's Opinion) too great a Plenty. I muft, Ifay, at prefent go to other Matters of Moment.. White's Chocolate-house, October 3.

THE Lady has anfwer'd the Letter of Mr. Alexander Landlord, which was publifh'd on Thursday laft, but in fuch a Manner as I do not think fit to proceed in the Affair; for he has plainly told him, That Love is her Defign, but Marriage her Averfion. Blefs me! What is this Age come to, that People can think to make a Pimp of an Aftronomer!

I fhall not promote fuch Defigns, but shall leave her to find out her Admirer, while I fpeak to another Cafe fent to me by a Letter of September 30. fubfcribed, Lovewell Barebones, where the Author defires me to fufpend my Care of the Dead, till I have done fomething for the Dying. His Cafe is, That the Lady he loves, is ever accompanied by a Kinswoman, one of thofe gay cunning Women, who prevent all the Love which is not addrefs'd to themfelves. This Creature takes upon

her

her in his Mistress's Prefence to ask him, Whether Mrs. Florimel (that is the cruel one's Name) is not very handfome? Upon which he looks filly; then they both laugh out, and she will tell him, That Mrs. Florimel had an equal Paffion for him, but defired him not to expect the first time to be admitted in private; but that now he was at Liberty before her only, who was her Friend, to fpeak his Mind, and that his Mistress expected it. Upon which Florimel acts a Virgin-Confufion, and with fome Dilorder waits his Speech. Here ever follows a deep Silence; after which a loud Laugh. Mr. Barebones applies himself to me on this Occafion. All the Advice I can give him, is to find a Lover for the Confident, for there is no other Bribe will prevail; and I fee by her Carriage, that it is no hard Matter, for she is too gay to have a particular Paffion, or to want a general one.

SOME Days ago the Town had a full Charge laid against my Effays, and printed at large. I altered not one Word of what he of the contrary Opinion faid, but have blotted out fome warm Things faid for me; therefore please to hear the Counsel for the Defendant, though I fhall be so no otherwise than to take a middle Way, and (if poffible) keep Commendations from being infipid to Men's Tafte, or Raillery pernicious to their Characters.

Mr. Bickerstaff,

A

*

Sept. 30. SI always looked upon Satire as the best Friend to Reformation, whilft its Lashes were general; fo that Gentleman must excuse me, if I do not fee the Inconve nience of a Method he is fo much concerned at. The Errors he affigns in it, I think, are comprised in the Desperation Men are generally driven to, when by a publick Detection they fall under the Infamy they feared, who otherwife, by checking their Bridle, might have recovered their Stumble, and through a Self-Conviction become their own Reformers: So he that was before but a clandeftine Difciple (to ufe his own Quotation) is now become a Doctor in Impiety. The little Succefs that is to be expected by thefe Methods from a harden'd Offender, is