That the Knocking of it upon his shoe, leaning one Leg upon it, or whistling with it on his Mouth, are fuch great Reliefs to him in Converfation, that he does not know how to be good Company without it.

That he is at prefent engaged in an Amour, and must defpair of Succefs if it be taken from him.

Your Petitioner therefore hopes, that (the Premiffes tenderly confidered) your Worship will not deprive him of so ufeful and fo neceffary a Support.

c.

And Petitioner fhall ever, your UPON the hearing of his Cafe, I was touched with fome Compaffion, and the more fo, when upon obferving him nearer, I found he was a Prig. I bid him produce his Cane in Court, which he had left at the Door. He did fo, and I finding it to be very curiously clouded, with a tranfparent Amber Head, and a blue Ribbon to hang upon his Wrift, I immediately ordered my Clerk Lillie to lay it up, and deliver out to him a plain Joint, headed with Walnut, and then, in order to wean him from it by Degrees, permitting him to wear it three Days in the Week, and to abate propor tionably till he found himself able to go alone.

THE Second who appeared, came limping into the Court: And fetting forth in his Petition many Pretences for the Ufe of a Cane, I caufed them to be exami hed one by one; but finding him in different Stories, and confronting him with feveral Witneffes who had feen him walk upright, I ordered Mr. Lillie to take in his Cane, and rejected his Petition as frivolous.

A Third made his Entry with great Difficulty, leaning upon a flight Stick, and in Danger of falling every Step he took. Ifaw the Weakness of his Hams; and hearing that he had married a young Wife about a Fort night before, I bid him leave his Cane, and gave him a new Pair of Crutches, with which he went off in great Vigour and Alacrity. This Gentleman was fuc ceeded by another, who feemed very much pleased while his Petition was reading, in which he had reprefented, That he was extremely afflicted with the Gout, and fet his Foot upon the Ground with the Caution and Dignity which accompany that Distemper. I fufpected him for an Impoftor, and having ordered him to be VOL. II. fearched,

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fearched, I committed him into the Hands of Dr. Thomas Smith in King-treet (my own Corn-Cutter) who attended in an outward Room, and wrought fo fpeedy a Cure upon him, that I thought fit to send him also away without his Cane.

WHILE I was thus difpenfing Juftice I heard a Noife in my outward Room; and enquiring what was the Occafion of it, my Door-keeper told me, that they had taken up one in the very Fact as he was paffing by my Door. They immediately brought in a lively freshcoloured young Man, who made great Refiftance with Hand and Foot, but did not offer to make Use of his Cane, which hung upon his fifth Button. Upon Examination, I found him to be an Oxford Scholar, who was just entered at the Temple. He at firft difputed the Jurifdiction of the Court; but being driven out of his little Law and Logick, he told me very pertly, That he looked upon fuch a perpendicular Creature as Man, to make a very imperfect Figure without a Cane in his Hand. It is well known (fays he) we ought, according to the natural Situation of our Bodies, to walk upon our Hands and Feet; and that the Wisdom of the Ancients had defcribed Man to be an Animal of four Legs in the Morning, two at Noon, and three at Night; by which they intimated, that a Cane might very properly become Part of us in fome Period of Life. Upon which I asked him, Whether he wore it at his Breast to have it in Readinefs when that Period fhould arrive? My young Lawyer immediately told me, He had a Property in it, and a Right to hang it where he pleafed, and to make Ufe of it as he thought fit, provided that he did not break the Peace with it: And further faid, That he never took it off his Button, unless it were to lift it up at a Coachman, hold it over the Head of a Drawer, point out the Circumftances of a Story, or for other Services of the like Nature, that are all within the Laws of the Land. I did not care for discouraging a young Man, who, Ifaw, would come to Good; and because his Heart was fet upon his new Purchase, I only ordered him to wear it about his Neck, instead of hanging it upon his Button, and fo difmiffed him.

THERE

THERE were feveral appeared in Court, whofe Pretenfions I found to be very good, and therefore gave them thei Licences upon paying their Fees; as many others had their Licences renewed, who required more Time for Recovery of their Lameness than I had before allowed them.

HAVING difpatched this Set of my Petitioners, there came in a well-dreffed Man, with a Glafs-Tube in one Hand, and his Petition in the other. Upon his entring the Room, he threw back the Right Side of his Wig, put forward his Right Leg, and advancing the Glafs to his Right Eye, aimed it directly at me. In the mean while, to make my Obfervations alfo, I put on my Spectacles; in which Pofture we furveyed each other for fome Time. Upon the Removal of our Glaffes, I defired him to read his Petition, which he did very promptly and eafily; though at the fame time it fet forth, that he could fee nothing diftinctly, and was within very few Degrees of being utterly blind; concluding with a Prayer, That he might be permitted to ftrengthen and extend his Sight by a Glafs. In Anfwer to this I told him, he might fometimes extend it to his own Destruction. As you are now (faid I) you are out of the Reach of Beauty, the Shafts of the finest Eyes lofe their Force before they can come at you; you can't diftinguish a Toaft from an Orange Wench; you can fee a whole Circle of Beauty without any Interruption from an impertinent Face to difcompofe you. In fhort, what are Snares for others- My Petitioner would hear no more, but told me very seriously, Mr. Bickerstaff, you quite mistake your Man; it is the Joy, the Pleafure, the Employment of my Life, to frequent publick Affemblies, and gaze upon the Fair. In a Word, I found his Ufe of a Glafs was occafioned by no other Infirmity but his Vanity, and was not fo much defigned to make him fee, as to make him be seen and diftinguished by others. I therefore refused him a Licence for a Perfpective, but allowed him a Pair of Spectacles, with full Permiffion to use them in any publick Affembly as he should think fit. He was followed by fo very few of this Order of Men, that I have Reafon to hope this Sort of Cheats are almost at an End.

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THE

THE Orange-Flower-Men appeared next with Petitions, perfumed fo ftrongly with Musk, that I was almoft overcome with the Scent; and for my own Sake, was obliged forthwith to licenfe their Handkerchiefs, efpecially when I found they had sweeten'd them at Charles Lillie's, and that fome of their Perfons would not be altogether inoffenfive without them. John Morphew, whom I have made the General of my dead Men, acquainted me, That the Petitioners were all of that Order, and could produce Certificates to prove it, if I required it. I was fo well pleafed with this Way of their embalming themfelves, that I commanded the abovefaid Morphew, to give it in Orders to his whole Army, That every one who did not furrender himfelf up to be difpofed of by the Upholders, fhould ufe the fame Method to keep himself sweet during his prefent State of Putrefaction.

I finished my Seffion with great Content of Mind, reflecting upon the Good I had done; for however flightly Men may regard thefe Particularities and little Follies in Drefs and Behaviour, they lead to greater Evils. The bearing to be laughed at for fuch Singularities, teaches us infenfibly an impertinent Fortitude, and enables us to bear publick Cenfure for Things which more fubftantially deserve it. By this Means they open a Gate to Folly, and oftentimes render a Man fo ridiculous, as difcredit his Virtues and Capacities, and unqualify them from doing any Good in the World. Befides, the giving into uncommon Habits of this Nature, is a Want of that humble Deference which is due to Mankind, and (what is worst of all) the certain Indication of fome fecret Flaw in the Mind of the Perfon that commits them. When I was a young Man, I remember a Gentleman of great Integrity and Worth was very remarkable for wearing a broad Belt, and a Hanger instead of a fashionable Sword, though in all other Points a very well-bred Man. I fufpected him at first Sight to have fomething wrong in him, but was not able for a long while to discover Proofs of it. I watched him narrowly for fix and thirty collateral any Years, when at last, to the Surprize of every Body but

my felf, who had long expected to fee the Folly break

out, he married his own Cook-Maid.

From my own Apartment, December 7.

My Brother bejegy leout of Town for Y Brother Tranquillus being gone out of Town for

would come and dine with me, and therefore defired me to have no other Company. I took care accordingly, and was not a little pleafed to fee her enter the Room with a decent and Matron-like Behaviour, which I thought very much became her. I faw she had a great deal to fay to me, and easily discovered in her Eyes, and the Air of her Countenance, that he had Abundance of Satisfaction in her Heart, which the longed to communicate. However, I was refolved to let her break into her Difcourfe her own Way, and reduced her to a thousand littleDevices and Intimations to bring me to the Mention of her Husband. But finding I was refolved not to name him, she began of her own Accord: My Husband (faid fhe) gives his humble Service to you: To which I only anfwered, I hope he is well; and without waiting for a Reply, fell into other Subjects. She at last was out of all Patience, and faid, (with a Smile and Manner that I thought had more Beauty and Spirit than I had ever obferved before in her) I did not think, Brother, you had been fo ill-natured. You have feen, ever fince I came in, that I had a mind to talk of my Husband, and you won't be fo kind as to give me an Occafion. I did not know (faid I) but it might be You do not take be for a difagreeable Subject to you. fo old-fashioned a Fellow as to think of entertaining a

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young