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Sly. 'Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady. 'Would 'twere done!
SCENE II. The Same. Before Hortensio's House.
Enter PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO.
Gru. Knock, sir! Whom should I knock? Is there any man has rebused your worship?
Pet. Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.
Gru. Knock you here, sir ? Why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should knock you here, sir ?"
Pet. Villain, I say, knock me at this gate, And rap me well, or I'll knock your knave's pate. Gru. My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock
you first, And then I know after who comes by the worst.
Pet. Will it not be ? ’Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock, I'll wring it; I'll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
[He wrings GRUMIO by the ears. Gru. Help, masters, help! My master is mad. Pet. Now, knock when I bid you; sirrah! villain !
Enter HORTENSIO. Hor. How now? what's the matter? - My old friend Grumio, and my good friend Petruchio!– How do you all at Verona!
Pet. Seignior Hortensio, come you to part the fray ? Con tutto il core bene trovato, may I say.
Hor. Alla nostra casa bene venuto,
Gru. Nay, it is no matter what he leges in Latin. If this be not a lawful cause for me to leave his service,-Look you, sir, he bid me knock him, and rap him soundly, sir. Well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so; being, perhaps, (for aught I see,) two and thirty,- a pip out? Whom, 'would to God, I had well knocked at first; Then had not Grumio come by the worst.
Pet. A senseless villain ! — Good Hortensio,
I bade the rascal knock upon your gate,
Gru. Knock at the gate ?-0 Heavens !
Pet. Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.
Hor. Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio's pledge.
Pet. Such wind as scatters young men through the world,
Hor. Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee, And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favored wife? Thou’dst thank me but a little for my counsel; And yet I'll promise thee she shall be rich, And very rich. — But thou'rt too much my friend, And I'll not wish thee to her.
Pet. Seignior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we, Few words suffice; and, therefore, if thou know One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife, (As wealth is burden of my wooing dance, Be she as foul as was Florentius' love, As old as Sibyl, and as curst and shrewd As Socrates' Xantippe, or a worse, She moves me not, or not removes, at least, Affection's edge in me; were she as rough As are the swelling Adriatic seas. I come to wive it wealthily in Padua; If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
Gru. Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is. Why, give him gold enough, and marry him to a puppet, or an aglet-baby; or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two-and-fifty horses : why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.
Hor. Petruchio, since we have stepped thus far in, I will continue that I broached in jest.
I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife
Pet. Hortensio, peace; thou know'st not gold's effect.
Hor. Her father is Baptista Minola,
Pet. I know her father, though I know not ber;
Gru. I pray you, sir, let him go while the humor lasts. O' my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him. She may, perhaps, call him half a score knaves or so: why, that's nothing; an he begin once, he'll rail in his rope-tricks. I'll tell you what, sir, — an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure her with it, that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know him not, sir.
Hor. Tarry, Petruchio; I must go with thee;
Gru. Katharine the curst!
Hor. Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace;
And offer me, disguised in sober robes,
under his arm. Gru. Here's no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, now the young folks lay their heads together! Master, master, look about you. Who goes there? ha!
Hor. Peace, Grumio : 'tis the rival of my love.
Luc. Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you,
Gre. O this learning! #hat a thing it is!
Gre. And you're well met, seignior Hortensio. Trow you
Hor. 'Tis well; and I have met a gentleman,
So shall I no whit be behind in duty
Gre. So said, so done, is well.
Pet. I know she is an irksome, brawling scold;
Pet. Born in Verona, old Antonio's son; My father dead, my fortune lives for me; And I do hope good days, and long, to see.
Gre. O sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange : But, if you have a stomach, to't, o' God's name; You shall have me assisting you in all. But will you woo this wild cat ? Pet.
Will I live?
Pet. Why came I hither, but to that intent?
For he fears none. [Aside.
Hor. I promised we would be contributors,
Gre. And so we will; provided that he win her.