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SCENE I. A Hall in Petruchio's Country-House.
Enter GRUMIO. Gru. Fie, fie, on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? Was ever man so rayed ? Was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now were not I a little pot, and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me.
-But I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla! hoa! Curtis !
Enter Curtis. Curt. Who is that calls so coldly.
Gru. A piece of ice. If thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel, with no greater run but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.
Curt. Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio ?
Gru. O, ay, Curtis, ay; and therefore fire, fire; cast on no water.
Curt. Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported ?
Gru. She was, good Curtis, before this frost; but thou knowest, winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it hath tamed my old master, and my new mistress, and myself, fellow Curtis.
Curt. Away, thou three-inch fool! I am no beast !
Gru. Am I but three inches ? Why, thy horn is a foot, and so long am I, at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand (she being now at hand) thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office ?
Turt. I pr’ythee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world?
Gru. A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and, therefore, fire. Do thy duty, and have thy duty; for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.
Curt. There's fire ready; and, therefore, good Grumio, the news ?
Gru. Why, Jack boy! ho boy! and as much news as thou wilt.
Curt. Come, you are so full of cony-catching:
Gru. Why, therefore, fire ; for I have caught extreme cold. Where's the cook? Is supper ready, the house trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the serving-men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding garment on ? Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without, the carpets laid, and every thing in order ?
Curt. All ready; and therefore I pray thee, news.
Gru. First, know, my horse is tired; my master and mistress fallen out.
Gru. Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a tale.
Curt. Let's ha't, good Grumio.
[Striking him. Curt. This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.
Gru. And therefore 'tis called a sensible tale; and this cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech listening. Now I begin. Imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress ;
Curt. Both on one horse ?
Gru. Tell thou the tale.— But hadst thou not crossed me, thou should'st have heard how her horse fell, and she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a place; how she was bemoiled; how he left her with the horse upon her; how he beat me because her horse stumbled; how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me; how he swore; how she prayed—that never prayed before ; how I cried; how the horses ran away; how her bridle was burst; how I lost my crupper; — with many things of worthy memory; which now shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienced to thy grave.
Curt. By this reckoning, he is more shrew than she.
Gru. Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find, when he comes home. But what talk I of this? - Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest; let their heads be sleekly combed, their blue coats brushed, and their garters of an indifferent knit; let them curtsey with their left legs; and not presume to touch a hair of my master's horse-tail, till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?
Curt. They are.
Gru. Call them forth.
Curt. Do you hear, ho? You must meet my master to countenance my mistress. Gru. Why, she hath a face of her own. Curt. Who knows not that?. Gru. Thou, it seems; that callest for company to coun. tenance her.
Curt. I call them forth to credit her.
Enter several Servants.
Gru. Welcome, you ; - how now, you; what, you; fellow, you; - and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat?
Nath. All things is ready. How near is our master ?
Gru. E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not Cock's passion, silence !- I hear my master.
Enter PETRUCHIO and KATHARINA. Pet. Where be these knaves ? What, no man at door, To hold my stirrup, nor to take my horse ! Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?
All Serv. llere, here, sir; here, sir.
Pet. Here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir !
Gru. Here, sir; as foolish as I was before.
Pet. You peasant swain! you whoreson, malt-horse drudge! Did I not bil thee meet me in the park, And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?
Gru. Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made, And Gabriel's pumps were all unpinked i'the heel; There was no link to color Peter's hat, And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing. There were none fine, but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory; The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly; Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you. . Pet. Go, rascals, go, and fetch my supper in.
i [Eceunt some of the Servants ? Where is the life that late I. led ?
Where are those — sit down, Kate, and welcome.
Re-enter Servants, with supper.
[Sings. As he forth walked on his way, Out, out, you rogue ! you pluck my foot awry: Take that, and mend the plucking off the other.
[Strikes him. Be merry, Kate. — Some water, here; what, ho! Where's my spaniel Troilus? — Sirrah, get you hence, And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither;
[Exit Servant. One, Kate, that you must kiss, and be acquainted with.Where are my slippers ? — Shall I have some water?
[A basin is presented to him. Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.
[Servant lets the ewer fall. You whoreson villain! will you let it fall ? [Strikes him.
Kath. Patience, I pray you; 'twas a fault unwilling.
Pet. A whoreson, beetle-headed, flap-eared knave!
Who brought it?
Pet. 'Tis burnt; and so is all the meat.
[Throws the meat, fc. about the stage. You heedless joltheads, and unmannered slaves ! What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight.
Kath. I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet; The meat was well, if you were so contented.
Pet. I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away; And I expressly am forbid to touch it, For it engenders choler, planteth anger; And better 'twere that both of us did fast,Since, of ourselves, ourselves are choleric, Than feed it with such over-roasted flesh.
Be patient; to-morrow it shall be mended,
[Exeunt Pet., Kath., and CURT. Nath. [Advancing.] Peter, didst ever see the like? Peter. He kills her in her own humor.
Re-enter CURTIS. Gru. Where is he?
Curt. In her chamber,
VOL. II. — 4