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Capt. Nay, sir, but hear me.
Sir A. Sir, I won't hear a word-not a word ! to give me your promise by a nod—and I'll tell you what, Jack-I mean you dog-if you don't, by
Capt. What, sir, promise to link myself to some woman of ugliness! to
Sir A. Zounds ! sirrah ! the lady shall be as ugly as I choose ; she shall have a hump on each shoulder ; she shall be as crooked as the crescent ; her one eye shall roll about like the Bull's in Coxe's Museum-she shall have a skin like a mummy, and the beard of a Jew—she shall be all this, sirrah ! yet I'll make you ogle her all day, and sit up all night to write sonnets on her beauty.
Capt. This is reason and moderation, indeed !
Capt. Indeed, sir, I never was in a worse humour for mirth in my life.
Sir A. 'Tis false, sir, I know you'll grin when I am gone.
Sir A. 'Tis a confounded lie! I know you are in a passion in your heart, you hypocritical young dog! but it won't do. But mark ! I give you just six hours and a half to consider of this ! if you then agree to do every thing on earth that I choose, why, confound you ! I may in time forgive you--if not, zounds! don't enter the same hemisphere with me! don't dare to breathe the same air, or use the same light with me; but get an atmosphere and sun of your own! I'll strip you of your commission ; I'll lodge a five-and-threepence in the hands of the trustees, and you shall live on the interest. I'll disown you, I'll disinherit you, I'll unget you! and d-n me, if ever I call you Jack again.
-Her giant form
Many ports will exult at the gleam of her mast!
Oh! many a dream was in the ship
No image meets my wandering eye,
THE LEARNED APOTHECARY.
This was an action that was brought against a man of the name of Warburton, for having practised without being duly qualified -it was tried before Sir W. Garrow at the Staffordshire Assizes ; the defendant was son to a man who had been in early life a gardener, but afterwards set up as a cow-leech. Cross-examined by Mr. Dauncey. Mr. D. Have you always been a surgeon ? Wit. Pray, my Lord, is this a proper answer ?
Judge. I have not heard any answer ; Mr. Dauncey has put a question.
Wit. Must I answer ? Judge. Yes, do you object ? Wit. I don't think it a proper answer. Judge. I presume you mean question ; I beg leave to differ with you in opinion. Mr. D. Have you always been a surgeon ? Wit. I am a surgent. Mr. D. Can you spell the word you mention ! Wit. My Lord, is that a fair answer ? Judge. I think it a fair question. Wit. Spell the word ! to be sure I can. S.y-u-rgunt.
Mr. D. I am rather hard of hearing--repeat what you have said.
Mr. D. Have you always been what you say ! what were you originally ?
Mr. D. Were you ever a gardener, Dr. Warburton ?
Mr. D. My Lord, I fear I have thrown a spell over this poor man, which he can't get rid of. Where was you a gardener ?
Wit. I never was a gardener-I first was a farmer- I ceased to be a farmer, because I learnt the business I now is.
Mr. D. Who did you learn it of ?
Wit. I learned it of Doctor Hum—he practised the same as the Whitworth doctors, and they were ruglar physicians.
Mr. D. Where did they take their degrees ?
Mr. D. Then do you suppose they could be regular physicians ?
Wit. No, I believe they were only doctors.
Mr. D. Did you ever make up medicines from the prescription of a physician?
Wit, I never did.
Mr. D. Do you understand the characters they use for ounces, scruples, and drachms?
Wit. I do not. I can make up as good medicine in my way as they can in theirs.
Mr. D. What proportion does an ounce bear to a pound ?
Mr. D. There is an artery about the temple, can you tell the name of it?
Wit. I does not pretend to have so much knowleage as some.