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Well, Larrup, without more disputing,
From one apartment, so erected
Of dislocating neck or shoulder,
(Nay oft it makes the urchins bolder)
Of these young pilferers, undetected.
Whilst leaden sleep sat on the Doctor's shutters,
(By shutters, I would here imply,
The lids that shut light from the eye)
At least, sufficient space t'admit
This being approv'd of 'twas decided,
A basket and a rope;
Who, rais'd by Hope,
He wisely then concealed himself,-
“ To it again .
With might and main,
“Yo! ye ho!
Up we go !”
CLERK MUGGINS. MR. Muggins was clerk at a parish church in Derbyshire, near which was a well known pleasant spot, called Mount Sion : here Mr. Muggins had several houses, that he was in the habit of letting out ready furnished ; and as it was proverbially a healthy place, was seldom without tenants. However, if it so happened that one of them were unoccupied, he had a most laughable and singular habit of acquainting the congregation of the circumstance, by invariably giving from his desk, in a curious nasal tone, immediately before the Psalms, as follows :- Let us sing to the Praise and Glory of_ 0, I had forgot Mount Sion is a pleasant place. It happened that he once let one of these houses to a Lady Pintweezel, whose favourite little dog, Shock, was very poorly. My Lady regularly attended church every Sunday, accompanied by Master Shock, who, although he could neither read, write, nor sing, yet when the congregation began
TWO BLACK BEAUTIES CONVERSING ON THE EXTRAORDI
NARY VORACITY OF JONAH. An African, having heard a sermon on the subject of Jonah being cast overboard, and swallowed up by a great Fish-in relating it to another of the sable tribe, said, that Jonah swallowed a large Whale; on which the other made answer, that “he knew Buck'ra Mans berry much like fish, but he did not know that they eat Whales after that fashion."
to sing he also began to bow, wow, wow, in with them very prettily ; which was considered such a nuisance, that at last one of the neighbours engaged to steal Master Shock; and i'faith he was as good as his word. The following morning, as Mr. Muggins was comfortably seated by the fire, enjoying his breakfast, comes a rap so (knocks) at the door. "Who's there? says Muggins; when in comes my Lady Pintweezel, with a face as long as my arm. "Good morning to your ladyship,' said he ; hope you are well.' 'Oh! oh! Mr. Muggins. (crying.)—“God bless my soul, my Lady, why what is the matter? is the house on fire, or has it been broken open.' 'Oh! Mr. Muggins,' (still crying) worse than that, I have lost my dear little dog Shock.'—'(Upon my soul, I am very glad of it.) ( Aside.) Sad thing indeed, my lady.' "Well, Muggins, don't you think you can find him for me?Lauk! my Lady, I can't find your Shock.' 'Ah! but Muggins, if you will but contrive to give it out at church, as you do your houses, I'll give you a couple of guineas,' Oh! to be sure I will, my Lady (that alters the case.) Poor little fellow, I hope he has got into good hands : but what shall I say, my Lady ? "Oh! oh! give me a pen and ink, and I'll write it all down for you. Oh ! dear, oh ! let me see, (wiping her eyes.) 'Lost, Lady Pintweezel's little dog Shock, with a black spot on a white tail, and a black body and a white back, with long ears, little mouth, and sore eyes. There, there it is, oh, oh! oh!
Very well, my Lady, I'll certainly give it out. On the following Sunday morning early, Muggins took an opportunity of popping the description into his reading desk before church time: shortly afterwards, the parson, who was a humorous sort of a blade, passing down the aisle spied this paper curiously folded :• Hey, what have we here,' said he upon opening it ; surely Mr. Clerk can't mean to give this out in church ; however, if he does, I'll have a joke with him ;' so taking out his pen-knife, he scratched out the S for sore eyes, and put in an F, which made it read fore (four) eyes, and then carefully replaced it as before. Soon after the service began and went regularly on, until the Psalms, which Muggins gave out: 'Let us sing to the praise and glory of-Oh! ah? I had forgot ; so recollecting himself, he proceeded— A hem-Lost, or strayed, stolen or mislaid, Lady Pintweezel's little dog Shock, with a black spot on a white tail, and a black body, and a white back, with long ears, little mouth, and fo—fo-four ! four! four !-yes it is, four eyes, upon my soul ; but Muggins, suspecting something, turning round and looking up, said, 'Mr. Parson, Mr. Parson. Well, Muggins,' said the parson, looking down upon him, 'Well Muggins, what's the matter #— I say, Mr. Parson, this is one of your tricks,