hawk; and in that time I grew from infancy to manhood, and called Monteņa 'wife ;-three noble boys and one fair girl, were those who called me father ;-till now we'd smoked the pipe of peace ; when once, as every thing was locked in sleep, and the fair light of Heaven had left our woods, I was returning from the chase, when, Oh ! Spirit of my fathers witness, witness what I say—I found my wigwam sunk in a heap of smoking ruins, and my three brave sons stretched dead upon the earth, and what was worse,' the light of the woods,' my lovely Zadig was stolen from me, to meet a fate, perhaps worse than that my sons had met.—My wife was still remaining to tell the dismal tale, and to raise the fire of vengeance in my heart, by saying 'twas your pale-faced warriors, that had worked the ruin of an unoffending savage. The morning came, the sun lit the scene of desolation, which your warriors had made, when I took the rifle of my father, and shouldered his tomahawk, determined to avenge my just wrongs. Was that rebellion { if it was, I never knew your language.--I ask you, Fathers of the White Nation, if I rebelled against what was right ;-I think not? I never deserved your vengeance in my life.- When did the white man come to Massanietto's hut, and a-hungered, and the Savage did not feed him? When did the pale face come to my wigwam, and if half naked, I clothed him not? When did your warriors, if benighted in the woods, come to Massanietto's for a shelter, and were refused ?-Never! and our people have acted like their Sachem; they saw me act with peace toward your land, they did the same ;—from that time when you slaughtered those who were dearest to me, I became your deadly foe, and have been ever since.

You took me prisoner, you tried to corrupt my mind by your accursed ruim-fire-water; but 'twas in vain, I would not taste it ; you then tried to win my friendship by kind treatment; but I recollected my private wrongs and the wrong you had done to my tribe ;-you gave me liberty to range at large, and having heard that a portion of my nation were advancing upon the settlement where I was confined, I contrived to escape and join them ;-this, you called desertion !-White men ! did you think because I bore my captivity in silence, and wore the warrior's dress which your nation wear, that it made any alteration in my heart?-No! I cherished up the thought of revenge till the eventful day which made me a second time your prisoner :-and now you charge me with murder, because I slew your chief ;-had he been a common warrior it would not have been so.—Your nation's justice is mockery of justice :

:-your people's deeds of war are acts of massacre and plunder ; they fight with no motive of revenge and passion, but merely to satisfy their thirst for blood.

Fathers ! I have done. When I am dead, I hope you'll lay me on the earth, like an Indian chief ought to be; and I trust the Great Spirit will receive me into the everlasting hunting ground. Our nations have been hunted like beasts, our bows are broken, our tomahawks are bent, and our fires extinguished ;-a little longer and the white man's persecutions will be at an end-the tribe of Red warriors will cease to exist.


A WEALTHY gentleman in Hertfordshire,

Not troubled with an overplus of brains,
Like many a worthy country squire,

Whose craniums give them very little pains,
Liv'd quietly upon his own estate ;

He was a bachelor, but whether that
Argues in favour of his understanding,

Or militates against it, is a question
That I would wish to have no hand in,
But leave it to your cool digestion.

He ne'er perplex'd hiis pate

With the affairs of state,
But led a calm domestic life,

Far from the noise of town and party strife.
He loved to smoke his pipe with jovial souls,
Prided himself upon his skill at bowls,
At which he left his neighbours in the lurch ;
On Sundays, too, he always went to church,

(As should each penitential sinner)
Took, during sermon-time, his usual snore,
And gave his sixpence at the door,

And then walk'd comfortably home to dinner.;
As there are many, I dare say,

Who into such affairs have never look'd, :
I think I'd better mention by the way,

That dinners, ere they're eaten, should be cook'd ?
At least our squire's were so before he took 'em,
And consequently he'd a cook to cook 'em.
Now as I shall have work enough
For this most gracious queen of kitchen-stuff,
It may not be amiss to tell you, that

(Of lusty beauty quite a masterpiece)
This modern maid of Fat

Surpass'd the famous dames of Greece.
Of course then she had lovers plenty-
Aye, that she had, sir, nearly twenty!

But none did she so doat upon
As our squire's lusty gard'ner, John.
It chanc'd one year, as almanacks can tell,
St. Michael's day on Sunday fell ;
The squire, the night before, as was his use,
Gave Peggy orders to procure a goose;
Then went to church next morning cheerfully,
And order'd dinner to be done by three.
'Twas half-past two-the cloth was laid,
Peggy the apple-sauce had made,

The bird was done, and she for master wishing;
When, lo; attracted by the luscious gale,
And somewhat elevated with strong ale,

John popp'd into the kitchen.
• What, cookee, got a goose! well, come that's nice,
Faith, cookee, I should like to have a slice;
And apple-sauce, too! there's a darling Peg,
Do take a knife and cut me off a leg.'—
• Cut off a leg? that would be pretty fun;
What serve it up to squire with only one ?”.
• Aye, to be sure; why, master durs'nt kill you ;
I'll cut it off.'-' Adone you fool ? now will you ?'
What arguments he used, I cannot say;
But love, whose sceptre's all-commanding sway,
Cookmaids, as well as countesses, obey;
Ordain'd it so, that, spite of all her reasoning,
John stole the leg, with lots of sauce and seasoning.
Though Peg, poor wench, was rather vex'd

At this unlook'd for, sad disaster,
She was not quite so much perplex'd
As you may think; she had been used to gull
The squire, and knew the thickness of his skull;
And consequently to this conclusion fell,
They who could do a goose so well,

Would not be troubled much to do her master.
Home came the squire, to the moment true,

And rang for dinner in a hurry; She brown'd the mutilated side anew,

And put it on the table in a flurry. Soon as it met his eye, the squire Exclaim'd with wonderment and ire, • Why what the devil do you call this, Peg? Zounds, huzzy! where is t'other leg? Peg curtsied and replied in modest tone, 'An't please you, sir, it never had but one! • Only one leg ! where did you buy it pray?' * At Farmer Grains's, sir, across the way ; And if to-night, sir, you will go with me, I'll pledge my life that you shall see

A number of the farmer's geese,
Which, like this bird, have only one a-piece.'

Well, prove it, and that alters quite the case;
But if you don't, mind you shall lose your place.'
He ate his dinner, and began to doubt it,
And grumbled most infernally about it;
The place was brown'd like all the rest he saw :
•D-n it, she surely never ate it raw!
Ev'ning arrives, Peg puts her bonnet on,
And with her master to the farm is gone?
With expectation big, they softly creep
Where Farmer Grains's geese are fast asleep.

Now to your recollection I would bring,
That when these pretty creatures go to roost,

They draw up one leg close beneath their wing, And stand upon the other like a post. • There, sir,' cries Peg, 'now pray cease your pother ; There, sir, there's one; and there, sir, is another !' * Pooh, nonsense, stuff!' exclaims the squire, ' now look yem St, st—there, now, they've got two legs, cookee.' Aye, sir,' cried Peg, 'had you said that at home! Nor you, nor I, had e'er had cause to roam ! But recollect, sir, ere you think I'm beaten, You did not say St, St, to the one you've eaten.'


A CHRISTIAN from his bag once drew,
A snuff-box, which an honest Jew
Could not without surprise behold,
For it appear'd of solid gold !
When first he saw the metal shine,
Said he, “I wish that box was mine;
And if to sell it you'll be willing,
I'll give you some six score shilling,
Provided--what I tink be fare-
You take a part in silver ware;"
The bargain closed, each was content,
Away well pleased the Christian went;
But soon a friend to Moses told,
The box was not of purest gold.
“Not fine? ne'er mind, I'll not lament,
I calculated shent per shent.”
“ But then you lose,” his friend replied ;
So Mo' rubb'd his box again and tried,
And to his cost he found alas,
'Twas only well-gilt tinkling brass.


We shall now consider the law, as our laws are very considerable, both in bulk and number, according as the statutes declare,

considerandi, considerando, considerandum ;' and are not to be meddled with by those that don't understand them. Law always expressing itself with true grammatical precision, never. confounding moods, cases, or genders, except indeed when a woa man happens to be slain, then the verdict is always brought in man-slaughter. The essence of the law is altercation, for the law can altercate, fulminate, and go on at any rate ; now the quintessence of the law, has, according to its name, five parts :The first, is the beginning or insipiendum; the second, the uncertainty or dubitendum: the third, delay or puzzliendum ; fourthly, replication without endum ; and fifthly monstrum and horrendum. . All which are exemplified in the following case:

DANIEL against DISHCLOUT.—Daniel was groom in the same family wherein Dishclout was cook-maid ; and Daniel returning home one day fuddled, he stooped down to take a sop out of the dripping pan; Dishclout pushed him into the dripping pan, which spoiled his clothes, and he was advised to bring his action against the cook-maid, the pleadings of which were as follow. The first person who spoke was Mr. Serjeant Snaffle ; he began saying, Since I have the honour to be pitched upon to open this cause to your lordship, I shall not impertinently presume to take up any of your lordship’s time by a round about circumlocutory manner of speaking or talking, quite foreign to the purpose, and not anywise relating to the matter in hand! I shall, I will, I design to show what damages my client has sustained hereupon, thereupon, and whereupon. Now, my lord, my client being a servant in the same family with Dishclout, and not being at board wages, imagined he had a right to the fee simple of the dripping pan, therefore he made an attachment on the sop with his right hand, which the defendant replevied with her left hand, tripped us up, and tumbled us into the dripping pan. Now, in Broughton's reports, Slack versus Smallwood, it is said, that primus strocus sine jocus, absolutus et provokus ; now, who gave the primus strocus ? who gave the first offence? why, the cook; she brought the dripping pan there ; for, my lord, though we will allow if we had not been there, we could not have been thrown down there ; yet, my lord, if the dripping pan had not been there, for us to have tumbled down into, we could not have tumbled down into the dripping pan.' The next counsel on the same side, began with, My lord, he


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