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if I can help it.-Well, gentlemen, there must be some trick in this; my serjeant offers to take his oath that you are fairly listed.
Tho. Why, captain, we know that you soldiers have more liberty of conscience than other folks; but for me or neighbour Costar here to take such an oath, 'twould be downright perjuration.
Plume. Lookye, rascal, you villain ! if I find that you have imposed upon these two honest fellows, I'll trample you to death, you dog–Come, how was't?
Tho. Nay, then we'll speak. Your serjeant, as you say, is a rogue, an't like your worship, begging your worship’s pardon--and
Cost. Nay, Tummas, let me speak, you know I can read.
-And so, sir, he gave us those two pieces of money for pictures of the king, by way of a present.
Plume. How? by way of a present! the son of a whore! I'll teach him to abuse honest fellows like you !-Scoundrel ! rogue! villain !
[Beats off the Sericant, and follows. Both. O brave noble captain! huzza! A brave captain, 'faith!
Cost. Now, Tummas, Carolus is Latin for a beating. This is the bravest captain I ever saw-Wounds! I've a month's mind to go with him.
Enter PLUME. Plume. A dog, to abuse two such honest fellows as you !-Lookye, gentlemen, I love a pretty fellow; I come among you as an officer to list soldiers, not as a kidnapper to steal slaves.
Cost. Mind that, Tummas.
Plume. I desire no man to go with me but as I went myself ; I went a volunteer, as you or you may do; for a little time carried a musket, and now I command a company.
Tho. Mind that, Costar. A sweet gentleman !
Plumc. 'Tis true, gentlemen, I might take an advantage of you; the king's money was in your pockets-my serjeant was ready to take his oath you were listed; but I scorn to do a base thing; you are both of you at your liberty. Cost. Thank you, noble captain
-Icod ! I can't find in my heart to leave him, he talks so finely.
Tho. Ay, Costar, would he always hold in this mind. Plume. Come, my lads, one thing more I'll tell
: you're both young, tight fellows, and the army is the place to make you men for ever: every man has his lot, and you have yours: what think you of a purse of French gold out of a monsieur's pocket, after you have dashed out his brains with the butt end of
your firelock, eh?
Cost. Wauns! I'll have it. Captain-give me a shilling; I'll follow you to the end of the world,
Tho. Nay, dear Costar! do'na: be advised.
Plume. Here, my hero, here are two guineas for thee, as earnest of what I'll do farther for thee. Tho. Do'ną take it; do'na, dear Costar.
[ Cries, and pulls back his Arm. Cost. I wull-I wull-Waunds ! my mind gives me that I shall be a captain myself— I take your money, sir, and now I am a gentleman,
Plume. Give me thy hand; and now you and I will travel the world o’er, and command it wherever we tread.. Bring your friend with
[Aside, Cost. Well, Tummas, must we part ? Tho. No, Costar, I cannot leave thee.--Come, captain, I'll e'en go along too; and if you
have two honester, simpler lads in your company than we two have been, I'll say no more.
Plume. Here, my lad. [Gives him Money.) Now,
Tho. Tummas Appletree.
Plume. And yours?
[Sings.] Over the hills and far away.
Courage, boys, įts one to tèn
Kite, take care of them.
Enter Kite. Kité. An't you a couple of pretty fellows, now ! Here, you have complained to the captain; I am to be turned out, and one of you will be serjeant, Which of you is to have
halberd ? Both Rec. I.
Kite. So you shall-in your guts.--March, you sons of whores!
[Beats them off
ACT THE THIRD,
The Market Place.
Enter PŁUME and WORTHY. Wor. I cannot forbear admiring the equality of our fortune : we love tivo ladies, they meet us half way,
and just as we were upon the point of leaping into their arms, fortune drops in their laps, pride possesses their hearts, a maggot fills their heads, madness takes them by the tails; they snort, kick up their heels, and away they run.
Plume. And leave us here to mourn upon the shore ---a couple of poor melancholy monsters. What shall
Wor. I have a trick for mine; the letter, you know, and the fortune-teller.
Plume, And I have a trick for mine,
Plume. No; I think myself above administering to the pride of any woman, were she worth twelve thousand a-year; and I ha'n't the vanity to believe I shall gain a lady worth twelve hundred. The generous, good-natured Sylvia, in her smock, I admire; but the haughty and scornful Sylvia, with her fortune, I despise. What! sneak out of town, and not so much as a word, a line, a compliment !-'Sdeath! how far off does she live? I'll go and break her windows.
Wor. Ha ! ha! ha! ay, and the window-bars too, to come at her. Come, come, friend, no more of your rough military airs.
Enter Kite. Kitc. Captain! captain ! Sir, look yonder; she's a-coming this way. 'Tis the prettiest, cleanest, little tit!
Plume. Now, Worthy, to shew you how much I'm in love--here she comes. But, Kite, what is that great country fellow with her?
Kile. I can't tell, sir.
Enter Rose, followed by her Brother Bullock, with
Chickens on her Arm, in a Basket. Rose. Buy chickens, young and tender chickens, young and tender chickens.
Plume. Here, you chickens.
Plume. Nay, Worthy, that's not fair; market for yourself-Come, child, I'll buy all you bave.
Rose. Then all I have is at your service. [Courtesies.
[Chucks her under the Chin. Rose. As ever you tasted in your life, sir.
Plume. Come, I must examine your basket to the bottom, my dear!
Rose. Nay, for that matter, put in your hand; feel, sir; I warrant my ware is as good as any in the market.
Plume. And I'll buy it all, child, were it ten times more. Rose, Sir, I can furnish
you. Plume. Come, then, we won't quarrel about the price; they're fine birds.-Pray, what's your name, pretty creature ?
Rose. Rose, sir. My father is a farmer within three short miles o' the town ; we keep this market; I sell chickens, eggs, and butter,
brother Bullock there sells corn. Bul. Come, sister, haste- we shall be late home.
[Whistles about the Stage. Plume. Kite ! [Tips him the wink, he returns it.] Pretty Mrs Rose--you have
let me see how mae