"Fait, thin, your Honor," replied the honest arithmetician, "there was two half crowns and two shillings, to make it up the five and sixpence!"

This awkward calculation was nothing in his favour, and then he pleaded a three years' character he could get from his employer, Mr. Huckell, a builder; but the Magistrate told him character could only serve him on his trial at the Old Bailey, and he was committed to Newgate. Bell's Life in London.

THE fable runs of ancient date,
Of one who doubly blest by fate,
Two loving wives engaged;
The one was old, without a tooth,
The other in the bloom of youth,
While he was middle-aged.
Each strove to make the man appear
Just like herself, or very near,

Something approaching call'd:

The elder pluck'd out each black hair,
The young one left no white ones there,
And so the man was bald!

With all such tender care caress'd
Poor Erin groans! while 'tis profess'd
How much her lovers feel;

No hearts so yearning, or so kind,

To hear them talk, you'd hope to find,

As Canning or as Peel.

The one would give to freedom scope,
The other pluck away all hope,

Blest neutralising care;

And thus between their loving strife,
What comes of Erin, hapless wife?

She's left, poor creature, bare!

Chronicle.

ANECDOTE OF BARRY, THE ACTOR.

WHEN the affairs of his (the Dublin) theatre took an unfavourable turn, and, unlike Mr. Sheridan, he left every department unpaid and unsatisfied, the angry tradesmen used to besiege his door, vowing that though they had been frequently paid off with words, this time they would not depart without their money. Mr. Barry would then desire to see them. A single claimant was admitted at a time. After a conference of some duration, he returned with a pleased and satisfied countenance to the anxious and expectant crowd of creditors below. Judging by the reception their companion met what was likely to be their own chance, he was eagerly interrogated by the gaping crowd. "Well, have you seen Mr. Barry?” "Yes."-" You have got your money?"-"No." -"A part of it?"-"Not one shilling;—but Mr. Barry spoke to me so kindly-seemed so distressed to keep me waiting-promised me so faithfully that the next time I called the money should be forthcoming-that he has, I know not how, got the better of my anger, and I could not find in my heart to press a gentleman any further."

AUSTRIAN LOAN.

British Press.

ON THE CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER'S SPEECH. AMONGST Monarchs for "honesty" noted in story, The Austrian henceforth shall stand foremost in glory; Who has done the dull Peters all Lombard-street round, Just enough to pay Paul eighteen-pence in the poundWhilst Paul, who expected he never would pay, Makes a snatch at the coppers-and throws them away! Chronicle.

THE PERPLEXED HUSBAND.

SKETCHES AT BOW-STREET.-No. XV.

JAMES PETTIT, a pure Emerald, appeared in custody, before Mr. Minshull, to show cause why he should not enter into sureties to keep the peace towards his own lawful wife. Mrs. Pettit, at this time, is a matron fast sinking into the vale of years; but she has still enough of beauty left to show that she once was a maiden of no ordinary charms. Mr. Pettit has also passed his grand climacteric, and the suns of many summers have sallowed his cheeks, and purpled his nose out of all reason.

Mrs. Pettit deposed, generally, that she had been separated from her husband nearly four years; that during those four years he had left her to provide for her children how she could in London, whilst he was wallowing in whisky in Dublin; and that, now she was got into a comfortable practice as a monthly nurse, he was just come back from Ireland on purpose to annoy her -following her wherever she went, threatening to do her a mischief, and thundering at the doors of her employers until he collected crowds of people about him. All which she humbly prayed his Worship to put a stop to, by binding Mr. Pettit down to the peace; and in this prayer she was joined by her son, a fine strapping youth of nineteen.

Mr. Pettit heard all this with great composure, and then opened at once with his defence, in form and manner following:-"May it please

L

your Worship, I shall tell your Worship all the rights of it from end to end, if your Worship will ounly hear to me.”

His Worship desired him to be as brief as possible.

"Your Worship, I've no brief at all about me, but I've got every thing in my head, and more in my heart-where it's like to be to the end of it, God bless me! for I'm an ill-used man. When I was a young man, ounly eighteen, your Wor ship, and not like what I am now, I fell in love with Mary Hogan, only seventeen, and hère she is, Mrs. Pettit now, and the mother of twelve childer, to testify it. Accordingly we got married, and had childer in plenty, and at that time I was steward at Saunders's Grove, and quite happy and comfortable, considering. Then, please your Worship, she was at me to be going into something for ourselves, and we took a publichouse a good bit from Dublin, and had everything dacent about us, till she went off with a boy of that same village, and I didn't know where she was till she came back to me, and asked me to forgive her, and I did, for I loved her above the world and all that's in it. Accordingly, please your Worship, we went on again mighty right for a bit, and might till this present, but for the people; for, let me be at market, or let me be everywhere, they said, here comes a cuckold!' and 'there goes a cuckold!' and was nothing but a cuckold, a cuckold, a cuckold, go where I would, please your Worship.

"Well, Mrs. Pettit, says I, its very bad to be bothered in this way, says I, for no deed of my

own, Mrs. Pettit, says I; and let us go over the water to England, says I, where we shall hear no more of it, may be with luck, says I. Fait,'

says she to me again, you may go by yourself, and I'll come to ye sometime, and bring the childer,' says she-for we'd two of 'em at that same time, and this to the fore is one. 'No', says I, 'I shall take one of 'em with me for comfort, and the other shall stay here till ye come yourself-and may be he'll show you the way the sooner, Mrs. Pettit,' says I. Then, please your Worship, I com'd over the water, with one of the lads we had, and I got me a place in a calicowarehouse, at Manchester, and I wrote letters upon letters to her to come to me; but she took no notice of the letters at all, and come she wouldn't by no manes; and says I to myself, this is mighty odd. Then, please your Worship, after some years she com❜d to me at last with five childer more than the one I left with her, and almost at downlying with another-God forgive her! for I did miself, being a paceable man at all times. 'Well, Mrs. Pettit,' says I, 'and ye've brought me plenty of childer with ye; have ye brought the money, and the other things I left with ye, Mrs. Pettit?' says I.- No, 'fait, that havn't I,' says she, for I left the money in a strong box, and all the things safe in the place at home,' says she; and I said no more at that same time. After a bit, she was brought to bed of the child that she had; and one morning says she to me, James,' says she, I'll go to the chapel, and get it christened,' and she did; but she didn't come back to me; and I asked after