WEIGHTY ASSISTANCE;"

OR, THE RELIEF OF CADIZ.

BY AN EX-CAPTAIN OF THE AYLESBURY TROOP OF BUCKINGHAMSHIRE YEOMANRY*.

To the Tune of Lord Grizzle's Song in Tom Thumb:

THE French are encamped before Cadiz,

Their navy is moored in the bay,

And liberal Europe afraid is,

The Cortes are melting away.

But e'er the last blow can be struck-struck-
I'll fly to their rescue, and soon

Will show them the soul of a Buck-Buck-
Buckinghamshire dragoon!

I turned my old yeomanry jacket,

And added new buttons and lace;
A helmet I bought, which, to pack it,
Would take up a harpsichord case !
My trowsers so ample I stuck-stuck-
All over with yellow galloon,

In short, my whole dress spoke the Buck-Buck-
Buckinghamshire dragoon!

O! had I the wings of an eagle

To make a more rapid approach !
But men of my size bear fatigue ill,
And so I must go by the coach.

As a twelve pounder groans on its truck-truck,
So labour'd the Falmouth Balloon,

When I mounted its step, like a Buck-Buck-
Buckinghamshire dragoon!

And there was squeez'd in an old lady,

So like me, behind and before,

That when we were called on to pay, they

Obliged us to reckon as four.

Lord Nugent.

N

We were both very soon in a muck-muck,
(The weather was sultry as June),

And I panted for breath like a Buck-Buck-
Buckinghamshire dragoon!

You ask what I did with my helmet,

And all the vast bulk of my gear?

As the coach such a load would o'erwhelm, it
Went by the van in the rear!

But coach and van frequently stuck-stuck ;
My partner was ready to swoon!

But the peril I bore like a Buck-Buck-
Buckinghamshire dragoon!

The packet at Falmouth was quite full-
Too deep in the water by tons!
But the captain's resource was delightful,
And to take me, he landed his guns!
So down in the hold I was struck-struck,
And for weeks never saw sun or moon,
'Twas a very poor state for a Buck-Buck-
Buckinghamshire dragoon!

The Frenchmen who guarded the bay there,
To keep food and succour aloof,
Examined our ship, as I lay there,
Insisting that I was a bœuf!"

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I trembled lest I should be stuck-stuck;
But the Captain persuaded them soon
That I was no "bœuf," but a Buck-Buck-
Buckinghamshire dragoon!

On landing I hoped that the people

Would loudly acknowledge my aid ;

Bells pealing from every steeple !

The troops drawn out on parade !

I thought that the bands would have struck-struck

Up their most national tune,

'Midst shouts of "Long life to the Buck-Buck—

Buckinghamshire dragoon!"

But, quite the reverse; as I came in,

The mob was exceedingly rude; They talked of my making a famine,

And filling myself with their food!

Ragged urchins, malicious as Puck-Puck-
Kept hooting" The fat Picaroon,"
And hunted me, just like a Buck-Buck-
Buckinghamshire dragoon!

I got to an inn with great trouble,

Half dead with the sea and the sun!
I found my room furnish'd with double-
Beds out of which I made one!
My boat cloak around me I tuck-tuck,
And till the day after, at noon,

I slept, and I snored, like a Buck-Buck
Buckinghamshire dragoon!

The first thing I did upon waking
Was calling for breakfast of course;
Dear Sefton, imagine my taking,

At getting a slice of a horse!

In my throat the first morsel it stuck-stuck, Tho' I fancied, from being "a jeune,"

I could have almost eaten a Buck-BuckBuckinghamshire dragoon!

I then sallied forth like a hero;

And up to my eyes in a trench,

I saw, two miles off, Trocadero,

ว

And what people said were the French. A ball came-I hasten'd to duck-duck; And fearing another too soon,

I gallantly ran, like a Buck—Buck—
Buckinghamshire dragoon!

I next cast my eyes to the sailors,

And seeing them look rather glum, Proposed they should turn the assailers, And promised to find them a bomb! The men I soon saw had no pluck-pluck; The ministers not a doubloon,

All swore at the bomb and the Buck-Buck Buckinghamshire dragoon!

Thus, helmeted, trowsered, bedizened,
Stewed, jolted, shipped, sickened, in vain;
Starved, terrified, hooted, and poisoned,
I rather disliked the campaign!
And weary of running a muck-muck—
Resolved by the first opportun-
Ity to bolt off like a Buck-Buck-
Buckinghamshire dragoon!

At the end of ten days (for no sooner
A vessel occurred to my wish)

I embarked in a Newfoundland schooner,
Which came with a cargo of fish:
We escap'd the blockaders by luck-luck,
Fresh breezes and want of a moon-
And so end the feats of a Buck-Buck-
Buckinghamshire dragoon !

John Bull.

LUDICROUS MISTAKE.

WHEN Mrs. Robinson published her Sappho and Phaon, she wrote to Mr. Boaden the newspaper editor, in the following terms:-" Mrs. Robinson would thank her friend Boaden for a dozen puffs for Sappho and Phaon." By mistake of the twopenny post, this note was delivered to Mr. Bowden the pastry-cook in the Strand, who sent this answer:-" Mr. Bowden's respectful compliments to Mrs. Robinson, shall be very happy to serve her; but as Mrs. R. is not a constant customer, he cannot send the puffs for the young folks without first receiving the money."

Herald.

BATTERY A-LA-MODE.

SKETCHES AT BOW-STREET.-No. XX.

A STURDY Surly-looking person, who said his name was Furzman, and "his professiun a licens'd wickler," was brought up from Coventgarden watch-house, charged with sundry disorderly doings in the a-la-mode-beef shop in Brydges-street, opposite Drury-lane Theatre.

According to the evidence of the master of the shop and his waiter, this "licens'd wickler" came in, after the play was over, with two other persons, and having called for three plates of "hollow-mode," they amused themselves with picking out the nice fat lumps, and throwing them at the rest of the company. John, the waiter, received one of the said scalding hot nice fat lumps slap in his left eye, and the licens'd wickler told him it was all right!-though the poor lad's eyes were none of the best, at the best of times-in fact, his eyes had long been lashless, and encircled with bright scarlet, and it was therefore excessively cruel to throw scalding hot beef into either of them. Another of these nice fat lumps was sent dab against a gentleman's cravat, just in the place where he wore his brooch-to the very great disparagement of his dignity; and another gentleman was so bespattered with the beef, both fat and lean, that he was ashamed to be seen by anybody. In short, they kept up these tricks too long, as the master cook said; for not a gentleman could come into the room till after two o'clock in the morning, without running the risk