head, to see if I had the organ of watchfulness, 1 think he called it. "Och," says I, "you may save yourself the trouble, for the devil an organ I have, bar'n my rattle and my watch-box," and so with that he laughed, and wanted to get my wig off, swearing by his conscience, that he was sure I had the organ of drowsiness in a very prominent degree. "No matter what I've got," says I," but you seem to have got the organ of thievishness, or you wouldn't have stolen this head; and so make up your mind to have a night's lodging for nothing; and so with this he was put in the black hole, your Worship." During this dialogue, the greatest anxiety was manifested by the curiosos to see the head, but up to this time it had not been produced. Sir R. Birnie, who evidently understood the joke, now called for the production of the stolen pericranium, when, to the astonishment, as well as disappointment, of all, a rough-carved bust, being an admirable likeness of a Saracen's Head, was handed up! "Oh!" cried several at once, "it's a sign only!" and then they scratched their own heads. Corney-To be sure it is; it's the Saracen's Head, Snow-hill, that was stole from the gateway last night, and here's the jontleman that it belongs to. A person in the service of Mr. Mountain, of the Saracen's Head Inn, Skinner-street, then came forward, and stated, that the head in question was one of two heads which had been fixed at the entrance to the inn-yard, to attract the eyes of passengers, and had evidently been torn down wantonly, for it was of no intrinsic value to any one but Mr. Mountain. Mr. William Howard was then called on for his defence, when he stated, that he had been a head waiter, and was going home to his lodgings, when he overtook some girls of the town with the head in question in their possession; he accused them of having stolen it, and they all ran away laughing. When he got it to the light-he thought he recognized an old friend and intended to have carried it back to Skinner-street in the morning. The watchman, however, stopped him in his progress; and not believing that he was serious in detaining him he joked a little upon the favourite science of craniology; but, as for the head in question, it could be of no use to him except for fire-wood. This was the "head and front of his offending.". Sir R. Birnie gave credit to this statement, and ordered Mr. Howard to be discharged, and the ferocious-looking Saracen to be re-conducted to his former post, unless in reality any of the Craniological Societies might be desirous of inspecting its organic symptoms. His Worship then incidentally remarked, that the circumstance of "the Saracen's Head" being painted with so gigantic and terrific an aspect, arose originally from the story of the first Christian assailants of the Infidels. These men were beaten by the Saracens, and on their returning to this country they described their enemies as men of gigantic stature and horrible physiognomy, thereby endeavouring to lessen their own disgrace. 34 Morning Chronicle. ANNUS MIRABILIS; January.-Dr.Doyle, a Roman Catholic Bishop, in his pastoral charge, recommends Orangemen to be civil; Orangemen and Papists not to be bigoted, nothing new under the sun.-The Duke of Sussex swallows an embrocation at Bognor; Royal Dukes at public dinners, have swallowed stranger things, and no danger apprehended.-Canonical clergy of Durham, convivially defended by the Reverend Dr. Phil-pots; to the best of his knowledge and belief, not a stall in the diocese that does not contain an animal over-worked and under-fed. February.-Several wild swans seen flying over Brighton, to the no small amazement of several tame geese, who happened to be waddling along the Steine; the bills of the former said to be three inches long; those of the latter much longer.Two Englishmen, by mistake, confined all night in the Catacombs at Paris, let out next morning, by means of a skeleton key.-Valentine's day Mr. Freeling applies to the Postmaster-general for two waggons, to convey the extra letters, and for permission to get them drawn by the asinine inditers, yoked in pairs. March.-Lord Manners refuses to dine with the Lord Lieutenant. Query, Title in abeyance when the note was transmitted?-Action brought by Mr. Cruikshank against the proprietor of a stage coach, for breaking his leg-most ungrateful return for an intended benefit. April.-Old woman taken for a witch at Taunton; and Mr. Ex-Sheriff Parkins for the Goddess of Justice in London, owing to his skill in holding a balance in hand.-Mrs. M'Kinnon executed for murder at Edinburgh. General averment in all the Scottish Journals, that the family of M'Kinnon is originally Irish, and not Scotch.-Cork mail runs one day without being fired at from behind a hedge. "Then is doom's-day near!" May.-Easter hunt; droves of unhorsed Londoners find their way as they can, from Epping Forest to Bishopsgate-street-" all on foot he fights."-Lady Mayoress's Easter Ball; great scrambling after ices in the Egyptian Hall.Query, Isis? June.-An old soldier advertises to quell the Irish rebellion for 10,000l. Query, which of them? July. The proprietors of Vauxhall Gardens inform the public, that "nothing can damp their ardour;" certainly if the present weather cannot, nothing can. By a fatal accident, (and it may be added, an unaccountable one), the perpetual Curate of Sawley loses his life.--Much money taken at a door in Fleet-street by a speculator, who exhibited, at a shilling a head, a live man who had not been to Fonthill Abbey. August. The ghost of John Knox makes his appearance in Cross-street, Hatton-garden, arrayed in black whiskers, and a dandy shirt-collar.Prince Hohenlohe miraculously cures "a lady of respectability, who had been for many years one of the religious community of Ranelagh;" the chief part of the miracle being the conversion of a fashionable community into a religious one, September.-A London Gazette is published without a single whereas: in the evening the several tradesmen illuminated their houses.Fall of the Trocadero announced upon the Royal Exchange; benevolent hope expressed by an Alderman, that it did not hurt any body. October.-In consequence of the projected improvements in St. James's Palace, several old women have received notice to quit.-Memorial of a murdered gentleman inserted in the Dublin. papers. November.-Mr. Sinclair the singer denies the temperature of his sitting-room, not wishing to be "thought a greater fool than he is."-Mr. Maberley's horse bazaar is removed to the winter theatres.-The author of Waverley said to have a curious mode of acquainting his domestics of his wants, by having the words "breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper," painted upon a board. N. B. The only poet on record who can call for four meals a day.-A 507. bill said to be swallowed by a donkey at Liverpool, and the printed statement of it swallowed by several of the species in London. December.-Dreadful storm of wind blows over the metropolis: an eddy of the remorseless gale carries divers school-boys prematurely to town for the Christmas holidays; numerous caitiffs in white great coats are blown from their own houses into those of other people, muttering something about the compliments of the season; and dinnercards whisk through the air, bringing heterogeneous relations together on Christmas-day. New Monthly Magazine. |