MR. ISAACS-Shust see dat coat! Vat vill I do mit dat Shust take the coat at

coat! I tell you vot I'll do. eight tollars, and don't go apout seeing no sights in my sthore a'ready, any more. Oh, dat coat! dat coat!

JOHN-We told you in the first place, sir, that we did n't want to buy, and didn't even want to come in; but you forced us to, and this is the consequence of it. I think my friend is getting better, and in a few moments he will be himself again. We can not buy the coat, which has been ruined. (SAMUEL gets up, looking a little wild.)

MR. ISAACS-Vell, how you feel a'ready? (Helps him to pull off the coat.) Shust see vot your fits do! Vot you come into my sthore fur all de vile? Now you both leaves! You gooms in again, I have policeman take hold of you, and puts you out mit your fits in der sthationhouses.

[JOHN gathers up carpet bag and prepares to start. SAMUEL breaks out into violent laughter, which MR. ISAACS mistakes for another attack of the “fits.”] MR. ISAACS-Shake! Shake! Goom mit me and help me put out dese man mit de fits out!

[Enter JAKE SWEET, who takes SAMUEL-who is

laughing violently—by the collar, while MR. ISAACS pushes JOHN before him. Exit all.]

[Curtain.]

NOTE. Very much of the success of this Dialogue will depend upon the acting. Let it be done naturally, however. The effect is as often spoiled by an exaggeration in the manner of acting as much as exaggeration in words.

SCENE I.--Counting room. RUSSELL seated at a desk, busy with a day-book and ledger.

Enter DREW and GREY unperceived by him.

RUSSELL (Speaking to himself)-There you are! I've conquered you at last. All those long columns of figures are right, sir! Now, John Russell, I think a page of algebra will get the cobwebs out of your brain. So here's at it, my boy!

DREW-(Slapping him on the shoulder)-So, here's your den, where you hide yourself, old fellow! What a fool you are, to work two hours after the rest are out!

GREY-And now he talks about algebra! I'd go sailing up Salt River, with a sign over me, before I'd touch an algebra. Sure enough, what do you stay here for so late o' nights?

RUSSELL-Well, to-night I stayed to do a little work for Mr. Soule-a few figures that somehow would n't add up right. But I've balanced every thing all straight; and I'm glad of it. They were in a snarl, somewhat, but it's all right.

DREW-And the algebra?

RUSSELL-Oh, you know Mr. Soule told us the other day he must do with less help soon. And as I'm the youngest clerk, I expect to be the one to be turned off. So I'm brushing up a little. Just to prepare for a winter campaign of teaching. That's all.

GREY-(Putting his hands in his pockets, and looking solemnly at RUSSELL)-Russell, how old are you?

RUSSELL (Smiling)-Oh, I'm almost eighteen. Rather young, I know; but I taught last winter with pretty good success. I'll do better this year.

GREY-Well, I'm glad you aren't quite a hundred. A fellow'd think, though, to hear you talk, that you came out of the ark.

DREW-Looks arkish, does n't he, Frank? Well, one thing I know. You're a fool to work over your hours for old Soule. He doesn't pay you extra.

RUSSELL-I don't ask anything for a little kindness like that. Mr. Soule is a kind, considerate employer, and does a great deal for us, you know. I'm glad to do him any little favor, I'm sure.

GREY-Well, old fellow, don't stay here moping all the evening. It's a splendid night! Come with us and have some fun.

RUSSELL-What kind of fun?

GREY-Oh, most any thing. A hand at euchre, perhaps.

RUSSELL-My dear fellow, I don't know one card from another. In the ark, where I was brought up, cards are non est.

DREW-Of course. Well, say a game of billiards, for variety.

RUSSELL-I am not going to the billiard-room again. I confess to a fondness for the game, but they make it a regular gambling operation; and such a set of profane, half-drunken rowdies as they get in. No, sir! I beg to be excused. I wish you would n't go, boys.

DREW-I've no conscientious scruples, and I'm not afraid. I wasn't brought up in the ark, thank fortune. RUSSELL-Mine was a blessed, restful, safe old ark, thank Heaven! The memory of it has been a safeguard in many a temptation.

GREY-Yes, yes, no doubt! You make me home-sick· for your words bring to mind my dear old home in the country.

DREW-There, boys, don't be spoonies! We'll just go it while we're young, and have a good time. See here, Russell, we came in to ask you to take a sail with us tomorrow. There's a party of us going over to the islandit's going to be a splendid day!

RUSSELL-You don't mean to-morrow! To-morrow's Sunday! You've forgotten.

DREW-Forgotten! Just as if it could be any harm for us poor fellows, who are shut up within brick walls six days out of seven, to take a sail on Sunday!

GREY-You can go to church twice and attend your Sunday-school, and then go. That wouldn't be breaking the Sabbath.

DREW-Come, Russell, do go just for once! I tell you Diamond Island is just splendid now. Come!

RUSSELL-Stop a moment. Let me think. I tell you, boys, I'd like to go! I've been in the city ten months, and all the country I've seen is that pitiful little Common, and the bit of green in front of my boarding house. I'd like to go, if it was right, but

66

GREY-Hurra! The man that deliberates is lost." He'll go, Drew; we only want him to complete our number. We'll have a gay old time.

Just let

(Takes a You see, I

RUSSELL-See here, boys, don't be too fast. me read you a part of my mother's last letter. letter from his breast pocket, and opens it.) carry it next my heart. (Reads:) "I hope, my child, you will never be tempted to spend any portion of the Sabbath in a way that your mother would not approve. I know you must be lonely on that day, and that you must miss us all. But do not forget that day belongs to

God. You can not expect His blessing, if you do not 'remember the Sabbath.'" Now, boys, you see I sat right down and wrote to mother that I wouldn't be tempted to do any thing on the Sabbath that she wouldn't like me to do. So you see I can't go.

GREY-Well, you need n't preach any more. We'll get enough of that to-morrow.

RUSSELL-I beg your pardon, boys. I think I never intruded my opinions upon you before. But, honest, I don't think it right to go sailing on Sunday.

GREY-And, honest, I don't-so there!

RUSSELL-Oh, then, be true to your conscience, and don't go.

GREY-I've promised, and I must this once. But it shall be the very last time.

DREW-Hold your tongue, Grey, and don't be a fool. Russell, you've always been a clever fellow, never poking your nose into other folks' business, and you' 've never "let on" about us fellows that don't think as you do. I respect you for it. And now I want you to do us a favor, will you?

RUSSELL Certainly, if I can.

DREW-Well, you can. Tell us where old Soule keeps the key to his boat-house.

GREY-You are not supposed to mistrust what we want to know for.

DREW-Oh, we want to know just for information. We have inquiring minds, you see. A little curiosity-that's all.

RUSSELL-But I do suspect your intentions. You want to get Mr. Soule's Favorite" to go sailing with to

morrow.

DREW-Granted. He's a stingy old scamp. He wont

let his boat, and there isn't another to be had, for love or