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The Gascon Peasant and the Flies.

1. Ar Neuchatel, in France, where they prepare
Cheeses, that set us longing to be mites,

There dwelt a farmer's wife, famed for her rare
Skill in these small quadrangular delights.

Where they were made, they were sold for the immense
Price of three sous* apiece,

But as salt water made their charms increase,

In England, the fixed rate was eighteen pence.

2. This damsel had, to keep her in her farm,
To milk her cows, and feed her hogs,
A Gascon peasant, with a sturdy arm
For digging, or for carrying logs:
But in his noddle, weak as any baby,
In fact a gaby :

And such a glutton when you came to feed him,
That Wantley's dragon, who "ate barns and churches
As if they were geese and turkeys,"

(See the ballad) scarcely could exceed him.

3. One morn she had prepared a monstrous bowl
Of cream, like nectar!

And would'nt go to church (good careful soul)
Till she had left it safe with a protector;
So she gave strict injunctions to the Gascon,
To watch it while his mistress was to mass gone.
Watch it he did; he never took his eyes off,
But licked his upper, then his under lip,
And doubled up his fist to drive the flies off,
Begrudging them the smallest sip,

Which if they got,

Like my Lord Salisbury, he heaved a sigh,
And cried, "Oh happy, happy fly!

How I do envy you your lot."

3. Each moment did his appetite grow stronger;
His bowels yearned;

At length he could not bear it any longer,
But, on all sides his looks he turned,

And, finding that the coast was clear, he quaffed
The whole up at a draught.†

*Pronounced soo-a sous is of the value of a half penny.
+ Pronounced draft.

5. Scudding from church, the farmer's wife
Flew to the dairy;

But stood aghast, and could not, for her life,
One sentence mutter,

Until she summoned breath enough to utter
Holy St. Mary"-

66

And shortly, with a face of scarlet,

The vixen* (for she was a vixen) flew
Upon the varlet ;†

Asking the when, and where, and how, and who
Had gulped her cream, nor left an atom?
To which he made not separate replies,
But with a look of excellent digestion
One answer made to every question-
"The Flies."

6. "The flies, you rogue !—the flies, you guttling dog!
Behold your whiskers still are covered thickly,
Thief! Liar! Villain! Gormandizer! Hog!

I'll make you tell another story quickly."

So out she bounced, and brought, with loud alarms,
Two stout Gens d'Armes,

Who bore him to the Judge:—a little prig

With angry bottle nose,

Like a red-cabbage-rose,

While lots of white ones flourish'd on his wig.

7. Looking at once both stern and wise,
He turned to the delinquent,
And 'gan to question him and catechise
As to which way the drink went.

Still the same dogged answers rise,
"The flies, my lord,--the flies, the flies."

8. "Pshaw," quoth the Judge, half peevish, and half pompous,

66

Why you're non-compos;

You should have watched the bowl, as she desired,

And killed the flies, you stupid clown." "What, is it lawful then," the dolt inquired, "To kill the flies in this here town?"

9. "The man's a fool!-What question's this? Lawful! you booby,-to be sure it is:

* Vixen, a cross, quarrelsome woman.

+ Gens d'Armes, guards.

+ Varlet, a scoundrel.

You've my authority, where'er you meet 'em,

To kill the rogues, and, if you like, to eat 'em!"

10. "Zooks," cried the rustic, "I'm right glad to hear it.
Constable, catch that thief! may I go hang
If yonder blue bottle (I know his face)
Is not the very leader of the gang

That stole the cream; let me come near it."
This said, he darted from his place,

And aiming one of his sledge-hammer blows
At a large fly upon the Judge's nose-

The luckless blue bottle he smashed;
And gratified a double grudge,

For the same catapult completely smashed
The bottle nose belonging to the Judge!

LESSON LXIX.

The Progress of Untruth.-BYROM.

1. Two honest tradesmen meeting in the Strand,*
One took the other, briskly, by the hand;
"Hark ye," said he, "'tis an odd story this,
About the crows!"-"I don't know what it is,"
Reply'd his friend-"No! I'm surpris'd at that;
Where I come from, it's the common chat:

2. "But you shall hear ;-an odd affair indeed!
And that it happen'd, they are all agreed:
Not to detain you from a thing so strange,
A gentleman that lives not far from 'Change,†
This week, in short as all the alley knows,
Taking a puke, has thrown up three black crows."
3. "Impossible!"—"Nay, but it's really true;
I have it from good hands, and so may you"-
"From whose, I pray?" so having nam'd the man,
Straight to inquire his curious comrade ran.
"Sir, did you tell"-relating the affair-
"Yes, sir, I did; and if it's worth your care,
Ask Mr. Such-a-one, he told it me;

But, by the bye, 'twas two black crows, not three."

* Strand, the name of a street in London.

+ 'Change, for Exchange, a place where merchants and others meet to

transact business.

4. Resolv'd to trace so wond'rous an event,
Whip, to the third, the virtuoso went.

66 Sir,'
‚”—and so forth—"Why, yes; the thing is fact,
Though in regard to number not exact;

It was not two black crows, 'twas only one,

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The truth of that you may depend upon."

5. "The gentleman himself told me the case""Where may I find him?"" Why, in such a place." Away goes he, and having found him out, "Sir, be so good as to resolve a doubt"

Then to his last informant he referr'd,

And begg'd to know, if true what he had heard;

6. "Did you, Sir, throw up a black crow?"-"NotI!" "Bless me! how people propagate a lie!

Black crows have been thrown up, three, two, and one,
And here I find all comes at last to none!
Did you say nothing of a crow at all?"
"Crow-crow-perhaps I might-now I recall
The matter over"-" And pray, Sir, what was't?"—
"Why, I was horrid sick, and at the last,

I did throw up, and told my neighbor so,
Something that was as black, Sir, as a crow."

LESSON LXX.

The Voyage of Life.-DR. JOHNSON.

1. "LIFE," says Seneca,* "is a voyage, in the progress of which we are perpetually changing our scenes; we first leave childhood behind us, then youth, then the years of ripened manhood, then the better and more pleasing part of old age."

2. The perusal of this passage having excited in me a train of reflections on the state of man, the incessant fluctuation of his wishes, the gradual change of his disposition to all external objects, and the thoughtlessness with which he floats along the stream of time, I sunk into a slumber amidst my meditations, and on a sudden, found my ears filled with a tumult of labor, the shouts of alacrity, the shrieks of alarm, the whistle of winds, and the dash of waters.

3. My astonishment for a time repressed my curiosity; but soon recovering myself so far as to inquire whither we were

* Lucius Annæus Seneca, a celebrated Stoic philosopher, and tragic poet, horn at Corduba in Spain, A. D. 12. He was tutor to the tyrant Nero, Emperor of Rome, by whom he was cruelly put to death, A. D. 65

going and what was the cause of such clamor and confusion, I was told that we were launching out into the ocean of life, that we had already passed the straits of infancy, in which multitudes had perished, some by the weakness and fragility of their vessels, and more by the folly, perverseness, or negligence of those who undertook to steer them; and that we were now on the main sea, abandoned to the winds and billows, without any other means of security than the care of the pilot, whom it was always in our power to choose among the great numbers that offered their direction and assistance.

4. I then looked round with anxious eagerness, and first turning my eyes behind me, saw a stream flowing through flowcry islands, which every one that sailed along seemed to behold with pleasure, but no sooner touched, than the current, which, though not noisy or turbulent, was yet irresistible, bore him away. Beyond these islands, all was darkness, nor could any of the passengers describe the shore at which he first embarked.

5. Before me, and on each side, was an expanse of waters violently agitated, and covered with so thick a mist, that the most perspicacious* eye could see but a little way. It appeared to be full of rocks and whirlpools; for many sunk unexpectedly while they were courting the gale with full sails, and insulting those whom they had left behind.

6. So numerous indeed were the dangers, and so thick the darkness, that no caution could confer security. Yet there were many, who, by false intelligence, betrayed their followers into whirlpools, or by violence pushed those whom they found in their way against the rocks.

7. The current was invariable and insurmountable; but though it was impossible to sail against it, or to return to the place that was once passed, yet it was not so violent as to allow no opportunities for dexterity or courage, since, though none could retreat from danger, yet they might avoid it by oblique direction.

8. It was however not very common to steer with much care or prudence; for by some universal infatuation, every man appeared to think himself safe, though he saw his consorts every moment sinking around him; and no sooner had the waves closed over them, than their fate and their misconduct were forgotten; the yoyage was pursued with the same jocund confidence; every man congratulated himself upon the soundness of his vessel, and believed himself able to stem the whirlpool in

* Pronounced per-spe-ca ́-shus, sharp-sighted.

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