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hand a large-faced child, with great blue eyes, and a cold is no saying that they might not in time have in its head. It wore a brown skin cap with a gold band

effected a cure of the disease, but that their round it, while a green and white net-comforter was twisted round its chin and body; its dress, generally,

points are steeped in poison ; and thus, for every bearing very strong evidence that the dear little thing bad humour that they dissipate or draw off, they was an extremely bad traveller.

inflict a wound that is “ past surgery.' After a short delay, during which several aristocratic But, after all, “ the unkindest cut” (howbeit carriages rolled by—at which period the Marquis adopted very far from the hardest) that has been inthe celebrated system of ostrichism, and hid his headthe omnibus rattled on towards town. At Walham-green, flicted on the Fashionable World, reached it from two tall scraggy girls from a boarding-school were pocked the last quarter that would have been suspected in. A gentleman with very red mustachios, was picked of such a design. “ The Exclusives," which is up at the Queen's Elm gate ; and a poulterer's boy, with

a regular and systematic attack on the whole a couple of skinned rabbits in a tray, was added to the party at the corner of Sloane Street, the said rabbits being plan and principle of aristocratic life, is written, on their way back to a poulterer's in Duke Street, St.

not as its worthy publisher insists, by a Prince James's, because they were not fresh.

of the blood and a Peer of the realm unitedAt the top of St. James's Street, the caravan stopped. a Beaumont and Fletcher of the Fashionable The day had cleared up; the pavement was dry. The World—but by a pillar of the Church ! King was in town; there were many people about. Lord

Our limits, long since overstepped, warn us to Snowdon just peeped through the windows, and saw groups collected—men he knew. Here it was clear he

conclude. We have, not ungraciously, we trust, could not get out-whither should he go ? how far—what compared the present melancholy predicament place was safe? At length he resolved upon going the of the Fashionable World to that of the “ Great whole journey to the Bank, so that he might emerge in Captain,” who was its representative, by anticithe city, and then enveloping himself in a hackney-coach, reach the habitable part of the town without fear of dis pation, in the last century. Betrayed by its covery.

pals, and deserted by its parasites, it lies, like Still the Marquis kept peering out of his prison-no- | him, bound hand and foot in the black-hole of body saw him-and it was pleasant to peep through the public opinion, hopeless of a reprieve. But, like loop-holes thus unobserved. In a few minutes all was

him also, its fate for the moment rests in some right; but the pavement in Piccadilly was up ; it was necessary, therefore, that the huge machine should go

measure in the hands of the Peachum and down St. James's Street ; and so it did ; but short was its

Lockit of the political world,--the Whig and progress in that line of march. All the bumpings and Tory parties, who may possibly agree between thumpings which its rapid course in the earlier part of themselves to give it “ a session or two longer.” its journey had excited, now were to be compensated for.

But be this as it may, its doom is decreed and is The driver smacked his whip, the horses obeyed the sound ; when, bang went something, and, in an instant, imminent: the fiat has gone forth, and nothing the whole fabric came down with a crash like thunder, can long avert the ignominious end that awaits exactly in front of White's.

it. Whether, like the gallant Captain aforesaid, Now, as far as we can see, there is nothing it will have the spirit to “ die game,” is more vulgar in any of this picture, except the Marquis, than we shall predict; though our own private who is the very concrete essence of it. But does opinion is, that in all probability it will. For anybody suppose that the author intended to make there is, after all, something in “ blood,” which him 80 ?—that author being at once à bought keeps the courage to the sticking-place, when slave, and a born worshipper of the aristocracy, nothing else can. If we remember rightly, “ The and, moreover, a man who would die a martyr Tenth” fought capitally at Waterloo. to his faith in the silver-fork school of manners Something, of course, will depend upon the and morals? The supposition would be ridicu-artificial stimulants to which we are all apt to lous. What is the explanation, then? Why, resort on great emergencies. If, like Mac that the man is himself essentially a vulgar heath's brandy-fask, those should be run dry, man, and therefore cannot, by possibility, know it may possibly cut but a sorry figure when arwhat vulgarity means; and is so governed by raigned at the awful bar of that public opinion his genius and passion for the ludicrous, that he which it has so long outraged ; for the case is bestows it upon his patrons, as if it were a boon one of so flagrant a nature, that the assembled from Heaven, as they bestow their patronage judges will indeed form“ a terrible show” in the on him.

eyes of the delinquent. If, on 'the other hand, As Mr. Theodore Hook employs the rubbing it can contrive to keep possession, to the last, of process upon his patients, and kills them out of its ill-gotten means of keeping up its spirits, we pure ignorance of their nature and his own ap- shall chance to see some sport yet. plications, so Mrs. Gore goes to the opposite ex In any case, we shall, at whatever cost, secure treme, and professes to effect her cures by the a seat within view of the place of execution, and delicate and elegant system of acu-puncturation. thus give ourselves the high moral satisfaction Her polished and finely-pointed needles pene- of witnessing the final exit of the most impudent trate to the very bone, without being felt other and successful culprit that ever cried “ Stand !" wise than pleasantly by the patient : and there to a true man.

Z. Z.

MINISTERIAL SKETCHES.

No. II.-LORD ALTHORP.

READER, did you ever, in the course of your | Ministry exists, the House, in fact, give up their various experiences, see a burly Yorkshire farmer guidance to his hands. bargaining respecting a horse ? If you did ever In an assembly like the House of Commons, behold this specimen of humanity under such an composed of all sorts of materials, and every aspect, you did not fail to remark, that Dame member being able, to a certain extent, to purNature had been kind to him in much that re sue an independent course as regards the busigards our real comfort here below. You saw by ness of the House, it is of enormous importance the hale and forid countenance, that she had to the Ministry, that the leader should really blessed him with a hearty constitution ; and by have the ear of the House, and receive from the the general good round appearance of the man, members implicit obedience. Mr. Pitt bullied you perceived that he had not neglected to do his the House ; frightened them. He was lord parapart in maintaining the due and comfortable mount; and would have his own way, simply becondition of the bodily man. Under a rather cause he chose it. Lord Alt orp's influence is heavy good-natared exterior, you perceived also, nearly as complete, but attained and exercised by the twinkle of his eye, a sort of shrewdness, in a very different manner. His burly, good. not indeed of a high character, but still sufficient natured appearance, his extreme good temper, to rescue the man from the imputation of stolic and suavity of manner, have raised in the minds dity. You thought, too, that you would not of nine-tenths of the members the idea that he is like to buy a horse of that man. Now, reader, really a very well-intentioned, kind, and honest if you ever did see such a person, you can easily sort of a person. He never bullies. As for his beform to yourself no very incorrect idea of the ing angry, why, the thing seems impossible. He appearance of that important person, the Chan- has always a good-humoured smile; and if he do cellor of the Exchequer. The habiliments, too, not, or cannot understand what is intended, with which that noble Lord adorns his person, people always feel and say, that he would, if he would not seem in any way to disturb this com could. If he go wrong in the opinion of any parison. A low-crowned, broad-brimmed hat, one, it is always observed, “he really does not an eternal black coat, broad at the tails, a grey intend it ; and he is so good-natured, and well. waistcoat, and checked trousers, that seem made intentioned, that I have very little doubt but out of an old bed ticken,—all seem to strengthen that I shall set him right.” Thus he has bethe notion, that the noble Lord is some well-to come what is called very popular with the do, good-natured, and rather sly farmer of the House. No one believes him possessed of much North Riding. And sooth to say, the exterior is ability, but all give him credit for very good no bad index here of the interior man. Nature wishes. He, by this means, has become a sort of meant him for that very position ; but one of general referee from all the discordant elements those strange freaks of fortune, which so disturb of the House. all our calculations and set at nought our philo If one were to ask any of the members of the sophy, made him Chancellor of the Exchequer. House, if he thought the noble Lord fitted for the

Had the noble Lord started in life as plain office of Chancellor of the Exchequer, we would Mr. Anybody, he would never have occupied the venture any odds, that, nine times out of ten, position he now holds; though, from the sharp.. the answer would be, “No, certainly not.” Were ening that his wits would have received, that you to inquire whether he ought to be leader of native shrewdness of which we have spoken, the House; as certainly would they answer “Yes.” would have become more prominent, and he On account of his knowledge ? “Oh, no—he would have acquired the reputation of a sharp knows very

little.” « On account of his capacity man. His character and influence, at the present to catch quickly what is intended, and to answer moment, are of a somewhat curious description. it?” The person questioned would laugh in your It is probably known to our readers, that Lord face, and cry out, “Oh, dear, no one suspected Althorp is now leader of the House of Commons. him of that." Well then, what is it that fits him They, however, may not exactly know what that for this very difficult office? The answer would means, nor the sort of influence which the be, “He has the confidence of the House.” Yes, Chancellor of the Exchequer exercises over that but how has he gained it? “ Chiefly by his good assembly.

temper, and his appearance. No one wishes to The leader, then, manages the whole business think ill of him; and if one were to wish it, the of the House. He represents the administration thing would almost be impossible. You would generally, and determines upon the mode in feel next to certain that he could not overreach which the Ministry shall meet every matter you." transacted. He, in fact, determines when the As to the superior skill of the noble Lord, in House shall adjourn, what questions shall be managing that very troublesome assembly, the discussed, and the order which ministerial busi- House of Commons, a striking example was afness shall follow. The Speaker always sees him— forded during the last session, pending the de the House always listens to him: so long as the bate on the famous 147th clause of the Irish

as

an

ance.

Church Bill. A very opportune fit of the gout | been attacked by the cholera, had turned particompelled him to be absent during the discussion cularly blue,—and, it was said, died very sudof that affair ; and, consequently, Mr. Stanley not denly? Of the latter part of the statement the only managed the debate, but was, in fact, leader honourable member was not quite certain ; but pro tempore. The result might easily have been he really should be much obliged to the noble foreseen. The Right Honourable Secretary's tem. | Lord, if he could give the House

any

information per was not fitted for the task. What with his respecting this distressing occurrence.” The own petulance, and that of those by whom he Chancellor of the Exchequer, having answered, was assailed, he was nearly driven frantic; and some person, as pertinacious as Mr. Cobbett him. the House became more like a bear garden than self, gives notice, that, on such and such a day, ever. Had his dictatorship existed for ten days, he intends to move the following resolutions ;it would have been dangerous to have entered he thereupon commences reading amidst a din the House ; and we sincerely believe the Minis- totally indescribable. At length there is a hope try would have been ruined. All parties seemed of going to business, when some angry member heartily pleased when the Chancellor of the Ex chooses to be heard upon a breach of privilege. chequer returned : good nature became again Everybody is immediately silent; then it usual. part of the order of the day, and serving in Par ly turns out that an impudent newspaper has liament was no longer a thing to be deemed per called the honourable gentleman a fool. The sonally dangerous.

member having no newspaper of his own, answers The reader may perhaps wonder at this his.. the writer from the floor of the House. Every tory, and puzzle himself by endeavouring to ac person now begins to be seriously impatient,--the count for it. Perhaps he will permit us to aid poor Minister has been badgered for half an him in his difficulty. Did you ever see a badger hour, and the Speaker has made sundry athunt, a bear baited, or a Spanish bull fight? | tempts to put the question, that “I do now Any one of these is a fit illustration of the posi leave the chair ;” the shouts are becoming intion of the unfortunate leader of the House of tense, everybody very hot, and out of humour. Commons. Take a very ordinary case

An Irish member usually selects this identical example :-A motion is made, that the Speaker moment for the detail of some abominable griev. do leave the chair, whereupon up start some

He also wishes to put a question to the twenty persons having questions to put to the Secretary for Ireland. He will not be put down. leader of the House. (Every member may He knows that English members are unwilling then put a question, though he cannot discuss it, to listen to Irish grievances; why then do they except on a motion to go into a Committee of not let them take care of their own affairs? He Supply. That is indeed the grand holiday for is ready to prove that they are perfectly compethe House.) “Seeing the noble Lord in his tent to the task. “Question !” “Question !” now place,” says, perhaps, some member for the city, resounds from every quarter of the House. The “ I wish to put a question to him respecting the member, undismayed, and fancying himself a marduty on nutmegs.” When the important matter tyr for the cause of Ireland, assumes a dignified of the nutmegs has been duly answered, there attitude. He folds his arms, gets exceedingly immediately rises some agricultural member, red in the face, and looks with affected unconwho is in an agony respecting taxed carts, or cern at the chandelier, as if to prove that he inthe Corn Laws; and not being able to contain tended to stand till the House should be silent. himself, wishes to put another question to the Hereupon the Speaker, cries, with a sonorous Chancellor of the Exchequer. That being over, voice,“ Order !” “ Order !" and rises to address some pompous person, of more extensive views, the member, having first, with great grace and wishes to know, “ Whether anything definite be dignity, blown his nose, and put his white handknown by our Government as to the negotia- kerchief leisurely into his pocket. “ The hontions now supposed to be pending between the ourable member must be aware that his privilege various Northern Powers ?” Lord Palmerston at present extends only to putting a question ; here rises, and, with a flourish of his hands, begs, and the House must perceive that such ques. in roundabout phrase, “ to assure the honourable tions cannot be put, if order be not preserved. member, that in the present condition of the On the one hand, the privilege of the member various difficult and intricate considerations in. must not be lost sight of, nor on the other, the volved in the nature of the inquiry, the Govern convenience and wishes of the House entirely ment intend to preserve that caution which the disregarded,—and he feels assured that the hongreat interests at stake necessarily demand." ourable member will so exercise his discretion, The House, or rather the ministerial benches, and the House their power, that the dignity of cry,“ Hear, hear;” and the questioner is silenced. the House and decorum of its proceedings be The next person rises with solemn gravity, and preserved inviolate.” Cheers from all sides, is really very sorry to detain the House, but and the Speaker sinks with great dignity into the very important and pressing urgency of the his chair. The Irish Member “ is ever ready matter must be his excuse; he desires to know to bow to the decision of the Chair, and act upon “ whether the Chancellor of the Exchequer has his suggestion," and he magnanimously agrees to learned that a little black boy, who was supposed forget and forgive the interruption, and proceeds to have been landed some weeks since by a ves to state his grievance :—" Has the Right Hon. sel from some infected port in America, had ourable Secretary for Ireland become acquainted

1

with a case of horrid atrocity, stated in all the even had he been an absolute idiot, they would Irish papers to have occurred in (some un have listened to his opinions, and attached to pronounceable place is always mentioned) a mother them greater weight, than they would have done and ten children murdered in cold blood by the had the statements come from the greatest philopolice,—their throats being cut from ear to ear, sopher the world ever knew. Nothing is more their bodies stripped and thrown carelessly upon marked than the slavish obedience of all Eng. the dunghill before the door, and there partly lish assemblies to aristocratic influence. No pubdevoured by the pigs running about the neigh-lic meeting is believed complete, unless some bourhood ?" The Secretary rises, and declares half-dozen noble or honourable blockheads can " that he has made inquiries respecting the fact, be persuaded to move and second the resolutions and that he has indubitable evidence that no that may have to be propounded. Do they unsuch person as the woman lives, or did live, at derstand the matters in hand ? The question is the place mentioned : that the whole story is a never asked. Are they competent to make the pure fiction, and got up for the purpose of throw. inquiry needed? This also men never dream of ing odium on the police. While on his legs, he asking. The chairman rises, and declares, with would also take this opportunity of answering pompous emphasis, that Lord will move a question put to him last night by the honour. the next resolution,—whereupon dead silence enable member for

respecting the mur sues, marked attention is paid to every word he der of an Orange family by a party of Catholics. utters; and though he retail the veriest nonsense He begs to assure that honourable gentleman that an addled head can conceive, all parties will and the House, that no such occurrence ever took go away satisfied, and quote the authority of my place. A fight indeed did occur, and two Catho Lord - Not long since, the Royal Society, lics were severely wounded on the head, and a society established for scientific purposes-coinafterwards sent to prison by an Orange magis- posed of scientific men, had to elect a president, trate; the originators of the affray having been -and' the contest was between a philosopher a body of drunken Orangemen, who had been and a Royal Duke. The philosopher had no drinking “ The Glorious Memory.” All this be other recommendation than that of being pecuing said with the peculiar sneer of the right liarly fitted to discharge the functions of presihonourable gentleman, every Orangeman in the dent. He had a great scientific reputation, and House is on his feet in an instant. In vain the everybody was agreed as to his ability and fitSpeaker cries “ Order !" and the House “Order !" ness. The Royal Duke was nevertheless chosen, and “ Question !” The confusion of Babel must simply because he could give more eclat to the have been nothing to it. All chance of quiet soirées of the society. The Royal Duke's preseems for ever gone, and the sensible men of sence would draw all that was great and fashionbusiness give themselves up to hopeless despair. able to the rooms of the society ; and so the phiHowever, the worst tempest must end ; and so losophers, out of sheer love of this vulgar diswith these bursts of confusion. They end at play, passed by their deserving brother, and selength; and all parties being heartily tired, the lected his Royal Highness. Who then can wonactual business of the day commences. From der that Lord Althorp should have great influthe description of such a scene as this, the reader ence with the House of Commons ? Were he can easily learn how a petulant and quick-tem ten times more inefficient than he is, on the score pered person would be made to lose all command of talent, the influence would be the same. Of over himself and the House; and also, he will his position, the House can judge; they can dethus see the immense importance of having some termine whether he be the heir to Lord Spencer ; person in whom all parties confide, and to whom but whether he be competent to the duties of they are willing to be obedient. Such a person his office, is a question which they themselves is Lord Althorp, simply in consequence of his do not possess the capacity of deciding : that good temper.

would require some knowledge in themselves; The noble Lord's admirers (and a Chancellor they, therefore, wisely eschew all notion of adoptof the Exchequer never was without admirers ing such a test, and rest contented with the simparticularly if he happened to be heir to estates ple inquiry of " Who is he?” like Lord Spencer's) will consider this an unfair This inefficiency, however, sometimes leads to depreciation of his worth. It is asserted that no awkward accidents; and we remember one that one, except Lord Althorp, could have carried the induces us very much to doubt as to the skill Reform Bill through the Commons; and for his exhibited in conducting the Reform Bill through success in this case he is lauded, as if possessed the House. Before we mention this circumstance, of remarkable personal qualities. Even if all that however, it may be well to remark, that, in the is said on this subject were true, it would ap House of Commons, the ministers on that occapear that no conclusion flowed necessarily there sion had a decided majority ; that no great diffifrom, in favour of his Lordship's talent. What culty was ever felt in that House ; so that it bechiefly influenced the condemned House, was the comes a matter of surprise now, to hear people position of the Chancellor of the Exchequer. talk of the dangers run by the bill in that stage That position naturaliy gave him great weight of its course. In the Lords, on the other hand, in an assembly notoriously susceptible of the great dangers were incurred; and who, we ask, aristocratic influences. The heir to a peerage, piloted the bill through the shoals there? Was to one of the largest fortunes in the country, | it Lord Grey, or Lord Brougham? We answer,

it was neither the one nor the other-it was the many,—so many burglaries,—50 many ravish. people. They frightened the Lords into acqui- | ings, and so on. The House came to cry ; they escence. The bill was not gained by a manœuvre, now were inclined to laugh. The official people but by the plain, downright determination of the below the bar were terror-stricken; they shrugged nation at large.

their shoulders, and turned up their eyes. Mr. The circumstance to which we allude occurred O'Connell crowed again,-his eyes sparkled with during the passing of the Coercion Bill. The pleasure, and his cheer became triumphant and grand point was to get up a thorough tale of deafening. Poor Mr. Stanley ! he was as pale as horrors, in order to scare away the senses a ghost: he bit his lips, put his heels, like a of the House of Commons. A regular raw-head Yankee, on the table, close by his noble colleague; and-bloody-bones story was to be fabricated, and at last, in his rage, fairly snatched the box of and terror and alarm were of the order of the papers out of his hands, shut it with a loud bang, day. To propitiate the House, also, the affair and locked it ; as much as to say, “ You shall not was committed to Lord Althorp's charge ; for, al spoil excellent materials; you are ruining us.” though Mr. Stanley has a reputation for talent, The noble Lord seemed startled by this angry his prudence is not deemed of the highest, and it proceeding, and hastened to the close of his was thought of the utmost consequence to conci speech. When he sat down, the House was a liate the Commons. Lord Althorp, more than any dead blank ; there was a painful silence among other person, possessed their confidence; and they the great majority, who wanted an excuse of would consequently view, with less jealousy, any horrors for their intended votes, and who felt obnoxious measure which came recommended that this afforded none. During the whole night by him. The grand field-day arrived ;---the bill the debate laboured on against this painful diswas brought from the Lords, and the Commons appointment ; and not till both Mr. Stanley and were in great excitement and expectation. At Sir R. Peel, had properly dished up the horrors, length Lord Althorp rose to move that the bill could the House forget the statement of the be read : and it was plain the members on the Chancellor of the Exchequer. In this case, the ministerial benches, and the Tories also, were failure was of a description which everybody in like the women who went to see Mrs. Siddons, the House could understand. No knowledge, no prepared for floods of tears. The ladies, on those talent, was needed fully to feel how miserably occasions, commenced operations on coming into the noble Lord had fallen short of his aim. Peotheir box, by arranging fan, shawl, and pocket-ple know well enough, that if you desire to handkerchief, which was always carefully dis frighten and horrify your hearers, you must not played, and unfolded, to be ready for immediate enumerate a dry catalogue of murders and burnuse. The gentlemen settled themselves omi. ings; they also understand, that the assertion nously. They all, in sailor phrase, pulled long of twenty murders having occurred, will not harfaces : got up a gravity, and seemed to obey An row up the feelings and terrify your audience tony's directions, you

have tears, prepare one hundreth part as much as would the minute to shed them now.” It was evident to any one detail of one atrocity. Knowing all this, they who knew anything of human nature, that a could not fail to be aware of the singular breakscene had been prepared, and was just about to down of the noble Lord, and to feel something be enacted. The noble Lord began in his like contempt, for the strange attempt to excite usual hesitating, unimpressive, common-place an audience, self-styled highly educated, by dotmanner. The pocket-handkerchiefs were evi ting off a list of crimes, as if it had been a ship's dently ready ; but as yet there was no excuse invoice, Such an exhibition would have utterly for crying. The noble Lord proceeded, and at ruined any one, not the heir to a peerage and last began his endeavours at horror creating. some fifty thousand a-year. As it was, the afThey who came to cry began to feel awkward. fair was the subject of a day's joking; and next There was evidently no case for tears. It is a day the noble Lord was thought quite as clever rule given us by Horace, “if you wish to make as before. me weep, you must first weep yourself.” The But here the inquiring reader may step in, noble Lord's acting never reached this point, and ask if there be not in the character of his no man ever seemed farther from tears. He Lordship something so honest, so open, frank, did not, indeed, seem pleased,—he felt that he

and straightforward, as to win for him great looked very silly. The taunting cheers of the and deserved confidence. The quiet insertion Radicals were not calculated, as restoratives, of the deserved confidence puzzles us. « We much to aid him. The noble Lord tried his

must speak by the card, or equivocation will hand at rhetoric-it would not do :--as a last undo us." We fully acknowledge that such is resource, he remembered he was Chancellor of

the character usually ascribed to the noble Lord; the Exchequer, and that figures were but we must as frankly aver, we do not agree sequently his weapons,--not figures of speech, with that estimation. mind good reader, but regular units and tens, Previous to his coming into office, the noble - so he opened his official box, and drew from Lord went farther than any of his brethren on thence a statement. Instead of horrifying the the side of popular government. He was never House with vivid descriptions of atrocities, he deemed a man of much ability ; but still in this coolly ran over the number of murders, &c.- country his advocacy of democratic government murders, so many, - ditto, in the day-time so was of great and essential service to that cause,

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