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he might reply, in a mixture of blas- hereditary privileges are at the bottom phemous profaneness, and low, sneer- of the whole, is not denied ; that those ing vulgarity, that he “would listen privileges being destroyed, all the worst with Christian forbearance to every parts of the other evils would cease, is thing that might be said against his admitted. When the legislature, order."
as in this country, has been long in the We shall proceed to our extracts, confound and mistake their interests and
hands of the wealthy, they are apt to merely requesting our readers to observe, that the ultra principles dis- convenience for those of society at large, played are the real and consistent which they alone derive advantage.”
and thus to perpetuate regulations from ones, and that the only consistent ones that can be set in opposition to them Mark, reader, the author, writing are those of decided Conservatism. for the radicals (for he despises the
We shall commence by showing intermediate class as much as we do) who are the body against whom these defines the aristocracy as—the peers, pamphlets are designed to inflame all related to them, all connected withi the real anti-Tory party ; for we do them, all who appear in the society not designate as a party that mass of in which they also appear, all those persons calling themselves“ moderate squires who can boast a father and liberals,” who differ from each other in grandfather, and finally all the wealthy. all manner of shades of principles, and He is perfectly right ; and however even in the extent to which they would we may detest the author, whether be act on the very principles they them- be the individual who has eulogised selves profess to advocate. From this these works in a distinguished periclass of individuals the two great par- odical, or is only famous as the spouse ties are gradually, but, of course, with of the most disgusting female writer of daily increasing rapidity drawing their the day ; yet we fully admit the justice recruits. When this has continued of his assertion, that in all their great long enough to reduce this quagmire interests these classes are indeed idenof inconsistent weakness to a numerical tified. We shall presently notice the equal to its moral insignificance, the miserable attempts he makes to precrisis will have come, and we think vent his dupes among them from perwill also be past, as the mere display of ceiving this inference. Now for the the overwhelming power of the then description of their character, habits,
Tory party will be enough to restore society, &c. the liberties and heal the wounds of the constitution. But to proceed with in it; they discuss their measures of a
“ Statesmen pass much of their time our extracts. After anticipating a party nature before the empty women triumph of his faction, and remarking, and the frivolous youths who compose that before the approaching opportu- it. They are not a little moved by the nity arrives, it is advisable to attend a
opinion which has dominion in these selittle “ to the aristocratic principle lect circles ; they are prevented from
-or in other words, to making useful appointments of men prepare the minds of his gang for unknown to these arbiters and arbitheir extirpation-he proceeds,
tresses of fashion--and therefore de
spised by them—but who would be “ The nobility of England, though it still more despised if they were known, forms the basis and the bulk, forms not because they are men of learning and the whole of our aristocratic body. To sound
statesmen all practical purposes we must include are also kept from taking an interest in under that name all their immediate con
many good works-as in humane and nexions, and even all who live in the philanthropic pursuits—and in supportsame circles, have the same objects, and ing wise
of improvement from time to time attain the same privi- founded upon profound views of human leges.
What difference in so nature and of man's wants, by the same ciety is there between a lord's second son, tone of ridicule with which, within these or deed his eldest, and the son of a rich sacred precincts, all mention of such squire, especially if he be of old family, things is sure to be greeted. Lastly, as that is, if his father or grandfather have those circles are drawn round the very been squires before him?
That focus of all hatred and contempt for the
people, they are the very hotbeds of by themselves, they know that all of it Toryism and intolerance; nothing being gives pain." more certain than that the women of “ Thus, the class we are speaking of fashion and all the young aristocrats form in reality the slander-market of the (perhaps more or less of all parties) day; and yet, with a miraculous inconhate reform; look down upon the people; sistency, they are in one everlasting desire more or less openly to have a chorus against the license of the press,' strong, arbitrary, Tory government, and which, but for them, would have no would fain see the day dawn upon mili- being; but for their follies, no object; tary power established on the ruins of but for their malice, no support; but for the national representation."
their spiteful credulity, no dupes to work “The want of sense and reason which upon ; but for their existence, no chance prevails in these circles is wholly incon- of continuing its own.” ceivable. An ignorance of all that the • Even wit, the most refined, finds no more refined of the middle, or even of echo in such minds; and if it be used in the lower classes, well know, is accom illustrating an argument or in pressing panied by an insulting contempt tor any
home the demonstration (which it often one who does not know any of the silly may be), the author is charged with and worthless trifles which form the treating a serious subject lightly, and of staple of their only knowledge.
An jesting where he should reason. Broad entire incapacity of reasoning is twin humour, descending to farce, is the utsister to a ready, and flippant, and autho most reach of their capacity; and that ritative denial of all that reason has is of no value in their eyes unless it raises taught others. An utter impossibility a laugh at a friend's expense.” of understanding what men of learning “ The body at large is our foe; that is and experience have become familiar with, incapable of conversion. Mr. O'Connell stalks hand in hand, insolent and exults may threaten and Mr. Brougham (mark ing, with a stupid denial of truths which reader!) may educate for ages; that are all but self-evident, and are of ex body is beyond all the fears which the treme importance. Every female member former can excite, and all the improveof this exquisite class is under the exclu ment which the latter can produce. All sive dominion of some waiting maid, or their habits-all their connexions-all silly young lover, or slander-mongering their interests oppose any conversion newspaper; and it not under the sway of short of what a miracle could work, one paper, lives in bodily fear of two or The abuses of the system are not merely three. Bribes, entreaties, threats, are by the protection of their order, but its turns employed to disarm these tyrants; direct presiding genius. For them, sineand however tormented the wretched cures exist; for them, jobs are done. victim may be, she is forced by some They it is that profit by the over-paystrange fatality, or propensity, to read ment of public functionaries. They it what most tortures her."
is that amass wealth by the tax imposed “ Furious to the pitch of Bethlem or St. upon the bread consumed, and alone Luke's, if they themselves be but touched consumed, by the people. For their or threatened, nothing can be more ex sons an overgrown army provides comemplary than the fortitude with which missions and staff-appointments.
For they sustain the rudest shocks that can their sons a bloated church establishment be given to the reputation of their dear- displays deaneries, and prebends, and est and nearest connexions. Nay, they bishoprics. To teach their children bear without flinching, with the patience Tory principles, the public schools (the of anchorites, and the courage of martyrs, best education in England, and one (but that the pain is vicarious,) the most utterly below contempt) train the paexquisite and long-continued tortures to trician infant to lisp in slavish accents. which the feelings of their friends and To confirm the lessons of Eton and relations can be subjected. This is no Winchester, Oxford opens her conserexaggeration ; for it is below, very much vative arms, and eradicates whatever below, the truth. They delight in the feelings of humanity, whatever reasonslander of that press, the terrors of which able opinions the expanding faculties of daily haunt them, and nightly break their the mind may have engrafted upon the slumbers. Nothing is to them a greater barren stocks of Henry the Sixth and enjoyment than to read all that can be William of Wickham.” said against their friends. They know, I think it is in Sheridan's Trip to to be sure, that all is talse; but, judging Scarborough that a noble lord is intro.
duced as recommending his brother to incompetent, either by weakness or take to robbing on the high road as a indolence, to compare the works with means of subsistence. The spirit of this themselves, and with each other, as advice has long been acted on."
the radical will do, to whom he We shall now briefly notice the in- always addresses the closing sentence consistencies we have alluded to. One of undefined meaning, but easily unof these is merely apparent, it is his derstood, that it is his object only to eulogy on the middle class ; and is as point out the disease, that they are to follows:
consider the remedy.
One passage we must extract, as “ The middle, not the upper class, are the part of the nation which is entitled of the principle which it is the design
paying a reluctant tribute to the truth to command respect, and enabled to win
of this article to advocate. esteem or challenge admiration. They read, they reflect, they reason, they think "I am far from doubting the policy of for themselves; they will neither let a the existence of a second deliberative pope, nor a prince, nor a minister, vor a body, less likely to be affected by popular newspaper form their opinions for them; clamour and to be run away with by and they will neither, from views of vague theories and speculations than interest nor motives of fear, be made the those who depend immediately on the dupe or tool of others. They are the people; but surely the opposition of our nation--the people in every rational or aristocracy has amounted to more than correct sense of the word. By them, to mere slowness; they have exhibited through them, for them, the fabric of the not the moment of inertia, but a deter. government is reared, continued, de nined and blind resistance.” signed. How long are they likely to
In this passage itself there is, howsuffer a few persons of overgrown wealth, laughable folly, and considerable profli. the meaning or the use of a second
ever, a special absurdity. gacy, to usurp, and exclusively to bold, deliberative body to whom he allows ail consideration, all individual im
only slowness, and will not permit any portance ?"
power of resistance? The nonsensical With other similar passages scat- expression, " the moment of inertia," tered up and down, for the double would confer probability on the idea purpose of blindfolding his professed first started, as to its authorship, by an friends, but intended victims, and of individual, whose impudent assumppandering to the vanity of the low tion of a scientific character, is only radicals, who must see from the whole equalled by his total ignorance even work that they are the class really de- of the commonest principles of science. signed by this title.
But the most He throw's an insidious sop to his treacherous inconsistency in the work, dupes by such passages as the followis that immediately after a desperate ing :attack such as we have given some Nevertheless, don't let us be run examples of, he affects to qualify, but
away with by names, and fancy that really confirms it by some hardly intel- lords may not be very good men, and ligible sentence to the effect, that even good reformers too." if the aristocracy were removed, yet
“ The aristocracy, as a body, is essedmuch of the evil would remain, if the accumulation of wealth were allowed; tially the enemy of all reform. Excepand then wheels off ' with a flourishing in another, good education for about the
Excellent sense in one; sentiment, that no man in his senses would wish to interfere with the rights country in Europe ; in a third, party
worst educated (because most religious) of property; that the
zeal; in a fourth, personai spleen,-may hnowledge will be the best softener of alienate members of the body from their harsher features ; that no man who natural connexions, and enlist them in understands our constitution would the cause of the people. For the aid of wish to see the House of Lords these men the country can never be too abolished, but merely improved, &c.
Far from repelling them by These passages he places where they insult an:1 damping their generous efforts are likely to soothe the liberal reader, in our behalf by a cold and sullen recepwhom he believes, and indeed is well tion, it is our duty and our interest to justified by experience in believing, hail their arrival among us with open
They are of infinite use to us. promises of strong votes, and breaking Their motives should not be too nar these promises the next; gaining their rowly scrutinized. They are worthy of seats by pledges of reform, and forfeiting all acceptation; and, if we krow either those pledges the moment they were what becomes us, or what serves us, we sworn in." shall affectionately and gratefully receive
“ But the persons whom we really them."
have a right to complain of, and whom Even here he cannot refrain from all honest men must blame, and all men lashing at the individuals whom he of spirit despise, are the forty or fifty affects 'to praise, and hints to his party pretended liberals, who have not gone that they should receive them because over openly to the enemy.
These they are of use to them; that is to say, rotten members are the true cause of all that while they require them to help the mischief that is befalling us. They them in destroying their own order, will possibly make it impracticable to they should conceal, as far as it is ne
forma good liberal ministry: they cessary to deceive them, their contempt will almost certainly cause any governand hatred ; and as soon as their de
ment that is formed to be ill constructed, grading work shall be performed, they patched of feeble men,-un popular will feel at liberty to treat them as
statesmen, and puny reformers, if rethey had done the rest, with the addi- formers at all; and they will assuredly tional punishment and scorn due to
make it quite impossible for even such traitors.
a ministry to last; so that we shall be The following passages are worthy and that vile and intolerable dominion
driven very soon back to the Tories; of notice, as illustrating this statement, will be perpetuated over us to the lasting and also showing to our own party disgrace of the country.” that they need not fear to lose any thing except the privilege they seem We should not trouble our readers to value so highly, that of being spec- with any notice of the absurdities into tators of, instead of actors in the con which our author falls in talking of test; and that they may soon expect property descending according to the a clear field, as the mass of indolent law of nature; a thing in itself perfect and lukewarm self-deceivers, who nonsense ; the law of nature being amuse their vanity by calling them- force and occupation, and every species selves the “ juste milieu” party, are of descent being the mere creature of hourly diminishing in number and im- municipal law, and differing in every portance, and will speedily be driven country, and even in the parts of the from their absurd and criminal attempt same country ; as for example, in to hover between right and wrong : England, the three rules of feudal,
“ Does any one dream that above 200, gavel-kind, and borough English teor at most, 250 of the Commons really
nure ; where, in the first, the eldest love reform, merely because the other
son; in the second, all alike; and in reformers, the merely nominal liberals, do the third, the youngest alone, is heir not dare throw out reform bills and mo
to the ancestor; all three systems tions ? Not a bit of it: they hate reform equally a civil restraint on the natural bitterly-hate it for its own sake-bate law by which the neighbours would it for their sakes-hate it for the sake of have all fought for the property; and the House of Lords, whom they really if the son got it, it would have been love, and where most of them hope to the mere result of force or accident, sit. But they fear us as well as detest which probably would have given it us, and they must vote whether they to the eldest, if any. Perhaps the will or no on many questions. Only wisest system was that which yave it see the effects of this. It is like the to the youngest, on the ground, that, argument of measures, not men.”
in trading towus where it obtained, the * Our friends are the minority; and elder children have been provided for the rest of the opposition, who, in case by the father in his life-tinie. of a change, will be the ministerial body, It is truly ludicrous to observe the is composed of men in whom the country contortions and anxiety of our author never cau again place any trust; because to unite, with any pretence of consisthey have got into parliament under false tency, his abusive contempt of polished pretences; wheedling us one day with society with his rage and inortification
at being excluded from it; we should the chances are against her, the market rather say, his attempts to excite, at being overstocked, manæuvre is the same time, these two feelings in missed, no opportunity neglected, and others, for he is probably, at least to a much may be, and is, done by the good certain extent, permitted occasionally management of a judicious chaperon. to pollute that society with his own The gaudy bait is skiltully played before presence for which he makes this the eyes of the destined victim; the finegrateful return.
drawn slender line is invisible; the simple For the purpose of destroying the object of these arts, perhaps just twentyrespect of the lower orders for this one and fresh from college, sees and desociety, our worthy radical proceeds:
sires, thinks all is gold that glitters; be
nibbles : should some other sister of the « The number of men and women hook interfere, and try to lure away the are pretty nearly equal in the world, the prey, falsehood and slander lend their aid number of elder sons but small. Every to defeat her intrigues: just when the man, says Adam Smith, has a peculiar swain begins to think himself in love, the confidence in his own good luck. Every bait is withdrawn, he follow's, and at last woman, perhaps, in her good luck and takes it. But with matrimony comes regood looks combined. Every one thinks pentance. Scarce is the honeymoon passed, that she has a better chance than her when he finds out the deception which neighbours of securing a matrimonial has been practised; he discovers that, inprize ; and if a daughter's generosity or stead of an amiable companion, who can folly lead her to preter a younger brother, enliven moments of dulness as well as the superior sagacity and prudence of her partake of the pleasures of gaiety, he has mother will speedily set the matter right; married an empty, selfish, heartless, frivoaccess will be denied him, perhaps some lous person, who cares not a sixpence for history of a flirtation with another con anything but his fortune, and who looks jured up, or if he contide his wishes to
upon him only as the peg upon which the fair one's parents, she may not be her establishment hangs. But it is too informed of his proposal. In short, to late so recede: he may, indeed, “ flounce use the language of political economists, indignant of the guile,” but the line of the supply of wives exceeds the demand. matrimony is too strong to be broken. Hence arises the noble science of matri.
The natural consequence follows; the monial angling. The noblest and most gentleman amuses himself with a mistress, amiable part of our species are turned the lady with a lover. This may be into so many artificial flies to tickle and thought a picture too highly coloured ; catch the human trout. Flimsy accom but I do maintain that it is the tendency plishments are substituted for solid edu- of primogeniture to generate this spirit cation; the adornment of the person for of rapacity and artifice; it even tends to that of the mind; dress takes the place make sister rival sister, and perhaps a of literature; singing and dancing, in- whole family pull caps for one man. May stead of being regarded, one as a pleasant be, indeed, under the pressing exigencies way of beguiling a cheerless hour, the of circumstances, a rich grocer or teaother as a means of securing a graceful dealer is admitted to purchase his admis. deportment, are ends seriously pursued sion into the ranks of gentility by taking for their own sake. While the mother some unsaleable commodity off her mosuperintends the maid or the milliner as ther's hands. If no such thing as primo. she sews the gown on her daughter's geniture existed, if things were left to back; while she watches with respectful follow their own course, and permitted deference Mr. Nesbit or Mr. Woodman, to flow in their natural channels, this as he decks or disfigures her hair with disparity between the demand and supply the orthodox ornaments prescribed by would vanish; this urgent necessity to fashion, or plasters the curls with rice be the first in the field, and to secure the water to her temples, her daughter's first rich fool, boy or booby, that might morals are left pretty nearly to form offer, would disappear; women would themselves, and her reading confined to mate with their equals; and though Hyde fushionable novels or trumpery annuals. Park might not exhibit so long a line of The whole soul of the mother is bent on carriages on a Sunday, nor the opera so securing the benefit of an establishment; splendid an attendance on a Saturday, no time is to be lost, the future is left to yet the number of old maids at Bath and take care of itself; present attraction is of divorces at Doctors' Commons would all that is thought of. Conscious that be diminished."