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cretly in a crucible, that you may come forth as gold feven times tried in the fire. May his left hand be underneath you,' and his right hand ever embrace you !→→→ May he lay his hand upon you, and fill you with his ftrength He will not forget Mrs. Weley; I have. had fome affurances that he will not, when I have been enabled to lay at the feet of Jefus the delightful burden you put upon me, by interefting me in her prefent critical circumftances. If I were more humble, I would beg you to prefent her my humble refpects; and if I were strong in faith like Elizabeth, I could fay, like her, with that fulness of the Spirit which fhould go to her heart, Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb! But it becomes not me to presume fo far; I fhall be happy if my good withes may be found fincere before God.

Since your departure, I have lived more than ever. like a hermit. It seems to me, that I am an unprofitable weight upon the earth. I want to hide myself

from all. I tremble when the Lord favours me with a fight of myself; I tremble to think of preaching only. to difhonour God. To-morrow I preach at Welt Street with all the feelings of Jonah: O would to God I might be attended with his fuccefs: If the Lord fhall, in any degree, fuftain my weakness, I fhall confider myself as indebted to your prayers. The adverfary avails himself mightily of the enthufiafm of Mifs Ad, to prevent the fuccefs of my preaching in French; but I believe that my own unworthiness does more for the devil, than ten Mifs A's. However, I have thought it my duty to endeavour to ftem the torrent of difcouragement, praying the Lord to provide for this poor people a paftor after his own heart, whom the wandering theep may be willing to hear, and who may bring them to himself.

A propofal has lately been made to me, to accompany Mr. Nathaniel Gilbert to the Weft Indies. I have weighed the matter; but on one hand, I feel that I have neither fufficient zeal, nor grace, nor talents, to expofe myfelf to the temptations and labours

of a miffion in the West Indies; and on the other, I believe that if God calls me thither, the time is not yet come. I wish to be certain, that I am converted myself, before I leave my converted brethren to convert heathens. Pray let me know what you think of this bufinefs; if you condemn me to put the fea between us, the command would be a hard one; but I might, poffibly, prevail on my felf to give you that proof of the deference I pay to your judicious advice.

Give me fome account of Mrs. Wesley, and of the god-father the defigns for your little Charles: and, that he may not labour under a deception, tell her how greatly I want wifdom, and add, that I have no more grace than wifdom. If after all fhe will not reject fo unworthy a fponfor, remember that I have taken you for a father and advifer, and that the charge will in the end devolve upon you. Adieu. May the plenitude of Chrift fill you, and may fome drops of that precious oil run from you to me! I. F.

P. S. I have taken poffeffion of my little hired chamber. There I have outward peace, and wait for that which is within. I was this morning with Lady Huntingdon, who falutes you, and unites with me to fay, that we have need of you to make one in our threefold cord, and to beg you will haften your return, when Providence permits. Our converfation was deep and full of the energy of faith on the part of the Countefs; as to me, I fat like Saul at the feet of Gamaliel.

London, April—, 1759.

Rev. Mr. Charles Wesley.

My dear Sir,

WITH a heart bowed down with grief, and eyes bathed with tears, occafioned by our late heavy lofs, I mean the death of Mr. Walth, I take my pen to pray you, to intercede for me. What that fincere, laborious, and zealous fervant of God! Was he faved only as by fire, and was not his prayer heard till the

twelfth hour was juft expiring! O where fhall I appear, I, who am an unprofitable fervant! Would to God, my eyes were fountains of water to weep for my fins! Would to God I might pafs the reft of my days, in crying, Lord, have mercy upon me! All is vanity— grace, talents, labours, if we compare them with the mighty ftride we have to take from time into eternity! Lord, remember me now that thou art in thy kingdom!

I have preached and administered the facrament at Weft-street sometimes in the holydays. May God water the poor feed I have fown, and give it fruitfulness, though it be only in one foul!

I have lately feen fo much weakness in my heart, both as a minifter and a Chriftian, that I know not which is most to be pitied, the man, the believer, or the preacher. Could I, at laft, be truly humbled, and continue fo always, I fhould efteem myself happy in making this difcovery. I preach merely to keep the chapel open, until God fhall fend a workman after his own heart. Nos numeri fumus ;* this is almost all I can fay of myself. If I did not know myself a little better than I did formerly, I should tell you, that I had ceafed altogether from placing any confidence in my repentances, &c. &c. but I fee my heart is fo full of deceit, that I cannot depend on my knowledge of myfelf.

You are not well-Are you, then, going to leave us, like poor Walsh? Ah stay, and permit me to go firft, that when my foul fhall leave the body, you may commend it to the mercy of my Saviour.

The day Mr. Walsh died, the Lord gave our brethren the fpirit of fupplication for him, and many unutterable groans were offered up for him at Spittlefields, where I was. Who fhall render us the fame kind offices? Is not our hour near? O, my God, when thou comeft, prepare us, and we shall be ready! You owe your children an elegy upon his death, and you cannot employ your poetic talents on a better fubject.

I fill up an empty space.

Give me fome account of yourself, of my god-daughter, and of Charles. Prefent my refpects to Mrs. Wefley, whom the Lord will ftrengthen in body and foul, if my prayers afcend to his throne; and believe me your poor brother and fervant foliciting your prayers, I. F.

London, June 1st, 1759.

The Rev. Mr. Charles Wesley.

My dear Brother, or rather, my dear Father,

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SUFFER me to complain that you forget us. I with my letter may mifs you, and that you may come in perfon and answer it before it reaches you. I know what detains you: I approve your prudence, but rejoice not at it. How is your health, that of Mrs. Wesley, and your little family? The Lord gives me. health of body, and from time to time, I feel ftrength in my foul. O when fhall the witnefs who is dead arife! When shall the Spirit enter into him, and fill him with wisdom, with power, and with love! Pray for me, and fupport my weakness, as much as you can. I am here Umbra pro corpore.* I preach as your fubftitute: come and fill worthily an office, of which I am unworthy. My pupils return to Cambridge on Monday, and the whole family fets out for Shropshire on the 11th. Shall I not fee you before that time? I have rejected the offer of Dr. Taylor, and have no other temptations than thofe of a bad heart. That is enough you will fay; I grant it but we must fight before we conquer. Pray that my courage may not fail. Come, and the Lord come with you! I am, &c. I. F.

Tern, July 19th, 1759.

The Rev. Mr. Charles Wesley.

My dear Sir,

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INSTEAD of apologizing for my filence, I will

tell you, that I have twenty times endeavoured to break

A fhadow rather than a fubftance.

it, but without effect. I will fimply relate the cau of my filence, referring you to the remembrance of your own temptations, for that patience you must exercife to a weak, tempted foul.

This is the fourth fummer that I have been brought hither, in a peculiar manner, to be tempted of the Devil in a wildernefs; and I have improved fo little by my past exercifes, that I have not defended myself better than in the first year. Being arrived here, I began to spend any time as I had determined, one part in prayer, and the other in meditation on the holy fcriptures. The Lord bleffed my devotions, and I advanced from conquering to conquer, leading every thought captive to the obedience of Jefus Chrift, when it pleafed God to fhew me fome of the folds of my heart. As I looked for nothing lefs than fuch a difcovery, I was extremely furprized, fo much fo, as to forget Chrift: You may judge already what was the confequence. A fpiritual languor feized on all the powers of my foul; and I fuffered myself to be carried away quietly by a current, with the rapidity of which I was unacquainted.

Neither doubt, nor defpair troubled me for a moment: my temptation took another courfe. It appeared to me, that God would be much more glorified by my damnation, than my falvation. It feemed altogether incompatible with the holiness, the juftice, and the veracity of the Supreme Being, to admit fo ftubborn an offender into his prefence. I could do nothing but be aftonished at the patience of God; and I would willingly have fung thofe verfes of Defbaraux, if I had had ftrength.

Tonne, frappe, il eft temps, rend moi guerre pour guerre,

J'adore en periffant la raifon qui t'aigrit.

Do not imagine, however, that I was in a state of evangelical repentance; no, a man who repents, defires to be faved, but I defired it not: I was even impatient to go to my own place; and fecretly wifhed, G

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