abandon all his bad habits and lead a different life, and that he would attend the revival meetings every night that winter.

Just then the pole cracked louder than ever, and Smith attempted to pray. He commenced, "Now I lay me down to sleep," but could remember no more; and the only prayer whose words he could call to mind was the closing part of a petition to the County Commissioners, so he began that, "I do solemnly declare that the statements herein made are true and correct, and, hoping for your favorable consideration, your petitioner will ever pray;"-the pole cracked again, it broke, and down he fell, down into the black depths, down into the untold horrors, until he suddenly alighted on a large bramble-bush, and screamed, "Ouch! Murder! The mischief take the briars! Confound this infernal hole; here it's only seven feet deep, and it scared me as badly as if it were seven hundred."

He scrambled out, and was soon relating his adventure to the present Mrs. Smith. Any future accident of that kind, which, they both agreed, might have had a more serious termination, was prevented by their speedy marriage. They have lived happily ever since, but Mr. Smith still bears those locks of white to attest the horrors of the night he fell into the ore-hole.

CXCII.-THE DEVIL AND THE LAWYERS.

THE devil came up to the earth one day,
And straight to a court-house wended his way,
Just as an attorney, with serious face,
Was about to present the points in his case.

Now, the devil a lawyer never had seen,
For in his dominions no lawyer had been;
So with no other aim than to gain his desire,
The devil came up to the earth to inquire.

Soon a lawyer commenced, with a visage quite grave,
And pronounced his opponent a fool and a knave;
And the devil, 't is said, was really amused

To hear the attorney so roundly abused.

But scarce had his argument come to a close,
When the lawyer opposing him fiercely arose,
And poured such abuse on the head of the first
That of villains, you'd think him, of all men, the worst.

They argued, contended, and quarreled so long,
'Twas hard to distinguish the right from the wrong,
Concluding he'd heard quite enough of the fuss,
The devil retired, and soliloquized thus:

"Now, if half that they've said of each other be true,
The devil, 'tis plain, has been robbed of his due;
But, I'm satisfied now 't is all very well,

For the lawyers would ruin the morals of hell.

"They've puzzled the court with their villainous cavil,
And, I'm free to confess, they've puzzled the devil;
My agents were right to let lawyers alone,

If I had them they'd swindle me out of my throne."

CXCIII.-ANGER AND ENUMERATION.

A DANBURY man, named Reubens, recently saw a statement that counting one hundred when tempted to speak an angry word would save a man a great deal of trouble. This statement sounded a little singular at first, but the more he read it over, the more favorably he became impressed with it, and finally concluded to adopt it.

Next door to Reubens lives a man who has made five distinct attempts in the past fortnight to secure a dinner of green pease, by the first of July, and every time has been retarded by Reubens' hens. The next morning after Reubens made his resolution, this man found his fifth attempt to have miscarried. Then he called on Reubens.

He said: "What in thunder do you mean by letting your hens tear up my garden?"

Reubens was prompted to call him a mud-snoot,—a new name just coming into general use, but he remembered his resolution, put down his rage, and meekly observed, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight-" Then the mad neighbor who had been eying this answer with a great deal of suspicion, broke in again, "Why don't you answer my question, you rascal?" But still Reubens maintained his equanimity, and went on with the test. "Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen-" The mad neighbor stared harder than ever. "Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one" "You're a mean skunk," said the mad neighbor, backing

toward the fence.

Reubens' face flushed at this charge, but he only said, "Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twentysix- At this figure the neighbor got up on the fence in some haste, but suddenly thinking of his pease, he opened his mouth, "You mean low-lived rascal; for two cents I could knock your cracked head over a barn, and I would"Twenty-seven, twenty-eight," interrupted Reubens, "twentynine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two thirty-threeHere the neighbor broke for the house, and entering it, violently slammed the door behind him; but Reubens did not dare let up on the enumeration, and so he stood out there alone in his own yard, and kept on counting, while his burning cheeks and flashing eyes eloquently affirmed his judgment.

When he got up into the eighties his wife came to the door in some alarm. "Why, Reubens, man, what is the matter with you?" she said. "Do come into the house." But he did n't come. She came up to him, and clung tremblingly to him, but he only looked into her eyes, and said: "Ninety-three, ninety-four, ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred-go into the house, old woman, or I'll bust ye;" and she went. -J. M. Bailey.

K. N. E.-38.

CXCIV.-MESOPOTAMIA.

'Tis sweet to roam when morning's light

Resounds across the deep;

When the crystal song of the woodbine bright
Hushes the rocks to sleep;

When the midnight sky has a somber dye

Of a pale and inky hue,

And the wolf rings out his glittering shout,
"Tu whit, tu whit, tu whoo!"

When the pearly wing of the wintry trees

Dashes across the glen;

When the laughing lights of the moss-grown cliffs
Haunt the ethereal fen;

And when at noon the bloodshot moon

Is bathed in crumbling dew,

And the wolf rings out his glittering shout,

"Tu whit, tu whit, tu whoo!"

THE MADMAN.

His eye was stern and wild, his cheek was pale and cold as clay;

Upon his tightened lip a smile of fearful meaning lay;

He mused awhile, but not in doubt,—no trace of doubt was

there;

It was the steady, solemn pause of resolute despair.

Once more he looked upon the scroll, once more its words he

read,

Then calmly, with unflinching hand, its folds before him spread. I saw him bare his throat, and seize the blue, cold, gleaming

steel,

And grimly try the tempered edge he was so soon to feel:
A sickness crept upon my heart, and dizzy swam my head;
I could not stir, I could not cry; I felt benumbed and dead.
Black, icy horror struck me dumb, and froze my senses o'er;
I closed my eyes in utter fear, and strove to think no more.
Again I looked; a fearful change across his face had passed;
He seemed to rave; on cheek and lip a flaky foam was cast.

He raised on high the glittering blade; then first I found a

tongue;

"Hold, madman! stay thy frantic deed!" I cried, and forth

I sprung;

He heard me, but he heeded not; one glance around he gave; But, ere I could arrest his hand, he had—begun to shave!

CXCV.-MARK TWAIN AND THE INTERVIEWER.

THE nervous, dapper, "peart" young man took the chair I offered him, and said he was connected with "The Daily Thunderstorm," and added,

66

Hoping it's no harm, I've come to interview you." "Come to what?"

"Interview you."

"Ah! I see. Yes yes. Um! Yes-yes."

I was not feeling bright that morning. Indeed, my powers seemed a bit under a cloud. However, I went to the book-case, and, when I had been looking six or seven minutes, I found I was obliged to refer to the young man. I said,

"How do you spell it?" "Spell what?"

"Interview."

"Oh, my goodness! What do you want to spell it for?" "I don't want to spell it: I want to see what it means.” "Well, this is astonishing, I must say. I can tell you what it means, if you-if you "

"Oh, all right! That will answer, and much obliged to you, too."

"I n, in,t e r, ter, inter"—

"Then you spell it with an I?”

"Why, certainly!"

"Oh, that is what took me so long!"

"Why, my dear sir, what did you propose to spell it with?"