omitted faying his breviary that day. Gentlemen, interrupted a party-coloured brother, fo much for the conduct of the ministry; that is in every body's mouth; let us talk of our military operations. How are our matters in Germany? They can't well be worse, anfwered a difbanded officer, who, two months before, had turned footman. It is but lately that I left that army, fo can talk to the purpofe of it Never was there fuch a set of wretched blunderers as our generals. Sblood, interrupted the archbishop of Paris, it is not their fault; it is all owing to the court: why do they employ generals who know nothing of fieges and battles? church-benefices would fuit them better; and give the command of the armies to bishops. Your grace is in the right, added a footman of the prince of Conti; most of the French officers should be put to fay maf, and let the monks and priefs gird on the fword; they would make better generals, take my word for it, than those who at prefent command our armies. Damn your church-gentry, replied a domestic of the prince of Condé; they are as much at a lofs in the field as others: did not our court, t'other day, fend an abbé to command the troops in Germany, and what were his mighty feats? Did not he get a fevere drubbing, with the lofs of twelve or fifteen thoufand men? and then he comes away to Verfailles, to acquaint the king that his knowledge reached no farther. Here a valet of the prince of Clermont called out: Fair and fofily, gentlemen; I was myself in that expedition; and well planned it was fo that we were confident of giving the enemy a fmart drubbing: but, unluckily for France, the ablé de St. Germain des Prez had Gentlemen, said a little man in an uniform, raifing his voice, I am only an enfign, reduced by want to relinquish my employment, and wait upon a clerk of the court of aids; but let his majesty make me general of his German army, I would engage, and give fecurity for the performance, to take Hanover, and within fix months to lodge the great grandson of the marquis of Brandenburg in the caftle of Vincennes. Here an old fervant of marshal Belleifle took up the cudgels: Give me leave, Mr. Enfign, to tell you, that is eafter faid than done; the king of Pruffia is in his own country; he has an army of two hundred thousand men, which he commands in perfon, and that gives him a vaft advantage over us. I don't fay but that he may be reduced, but it must be by time and patience. Armies on armies must be fent thither, and fresh troops be continually replacing the former. We never could do any thing in Germany; and all the glory we have acquired there has been by running away: the only thing which gained France reputation in the north, was the ever famous retreat made by me in the laft war. To this fanfaronade, a footman of Mal-b-s made answer, Under favour, marshal, thou art a doating old fellow; I had been at the helm, nothing fhouldft thou have had to do with the conduct of the war, unless fetting you over the forages. That is all you are fit for ; you imagine armies to be like truffes of hay, which may be replaced by new forages. My lords, interrupted a politician dreffed in green, here's the cause of all all our misfortunes; not a fingle * *** has laid. down his plan, and he is determined. to ruin Europe for the noble pleafure of being talked of when he is in his grave. That's going a great way, faid an author's cook, for a little fhrimp. of a crown, whofe majefty is under five feet two inches. Gentlemen, continued he, I am, by profeffion, a cook; if any power in Europe will give me a handsome re-, ward, I'll engage to poi- you underftand me; a word to the wife. is enough. A German fricafee will do the business, or an English ragout will be ftill better; but, to make fure work of it, I would toss him up a Spanish olio. Gentlemen, faid a political courier, who hitherto had not opened. his mouth, you mind nothing but Germany; the king of Pruffia is continually before you; yet it is not there that the faddle galls: were we ever fo fuccefsful in the north, our affairs would not mend. Land battles are nothing to us; it is only fea victories that will fet us to rights: the main point for France is to humble the pride of the vapouring Bri tons. And how would you have us cope with England without a flcet, faid the high admiral ? That's for thee, Ber-r, faid the fame politician, to a furly kind of man, the blame lies at thy door; and after all, why do you let France be without, a navy? That's the way of all you fchemers, anfwered the other haftily; you would have one build a fleet of fhips at once, as you raife an army of foldiers. Great fchemes are always attended with great obftacles; for instance, I had laid down the finest plan for a navy that had ever been formed in France: it was for completely building and equipping no less than forty fhips of the line. I had made provifion for the guns, fmall arms, carriages, bullets, balls, fails, rigging, pitch, tar, anchors, charts, and compaffes; but on my giving orders for building the fleet, I found I had forgot the timber. I understand you, Ber-r, faid the fame orator to him; having been a long time in the police as commiffioner for lighting the ftreets, you imagined that a fhip might be built with as few materials as a lanthorn. Here they were interrupted by a footman, in a Pompadour colour; you are all a parcel of ignoramus's in politics, as blind as beetles; 'tis only my mistress and I who have the key to the affairs of France-I know what I mean, and that's enough—I shall not declare myself any farther: we shall foon fee rare doings-Not only the times in which we live, but even the mott remote pofterity, will remember the prefent miniftry. What though France has met with fome rubs in the former campaigns, and the battles in Germany don't go on our fide; and though we have loft four hundred millions of money, and fix hundred thousand men, pray could we expend lefs in a war with which we had nothing to do? But, gentlemen, faid another, who had all this while been filent, what refolution will you come to? The opera is near ending, and our mafters will be coming out; before we rife fomething must be determined concerning the kingdom, otherwife our meeting would be no more to the purpose than that of fovereigns, where much is talked of and nothing concluded, what do you vote for, gentlemen ? I, faid the footman of a purveyor-general, am for half a dozen more campaigns, and as many battles, that we may quell the obstinacy of our enemies. And how the devil will you go on with the war, replied a footman of the farmer-general, without the pence? All the cafh in the kingdom is in our coffers, and we are determined not to lend the government a fous, without having the crown jewels in pledge: for as to the king's revenues they are already dipped for feveral years; fo that it would be dangerous to draw our purfe- ftrings. The miniftry, indeed, has ftill a refource; they may faddle the people with more taxes, but that can't turn out to any great matter: the people have nothing left; we have drained them of all their radical moisture; they are as dry as tinder. Well, gentlemen, faid the footman to the great almoner of France, let us e'en come to a peace. Two or three mea culpa's will abfolve us from all our paft political fins. Very well spoke, replied M. de B--'s footman; and I'll go myfelf with my mafter to London, and open the negotiation. Did ever any one hear fuch a coxcomb, and thy mafter is no better, said a footman of the duke de Niv-r-n-s, you pretend to fuch an honour ! That B-f-y of thine is too heavy-arfed for fuch a lofty branch of politics: I'll venture to foretel that, if he is fent to that court, he'll come back with his fingers in his mouth. My lord duke, and his fecretary Moreau, are the only men to bring fuch a weighty affair to a happy iffue. My master has brought the court of Rome to liften to reafon, and fo he will that of London; king George is no better catholic than the pope and, if the duke found means to fling the Vatican, with all its policy, he will, doubtlefs, be a match for St. James's. Here a waiter brought word that the opera was done: this diffolved the congrefs; all paid their reckonings, lighted their flambeaux, and leaped up behind their mafters coach es; only B-f-y's poor valet, not having wherewith to difcharge his share, which came to five fous three deniers, remained in pawn till the definitive treaty between the two crowns, when the article of prisoners was to come on the carpet. An ORIGINAL LETTER from Mr. POPE to the DUTCHESS of HAMILTON, London, O. the, between day and MADAM, MRS. Whitworth (who, as her epitaph on Twitenham highway affures us, had attained to as much perfection and purity as any fince the apostles) is now depofited, according to her own order, between a fig-tree and a vine, there to be found out at the laft refurrection. I am just coming from feeing your grace in much the like fituation, betwen a honey fuckle and a rose-bush; where you are to continue as long as canvafs can laft. I fuppofe the painter, by these emblems, intended to intimate on the one hand, your grace's fweet difpofition to your friends; and on the other, to fhew you are near enough related to the thistle of Scotland, to deferve the fame motto with regard to your enemies : Nemo me impune laceffit *. The two foregoing periods, methinks, are fo myftical, learned, and perplexed, that if you have any ftatesmen or divines about you, they can't chufe but be pleased with them. One divine you cannot be without, as a good chriftian; and a ftatefman you have lately had; for I hear my lord Selkirk has been with you. But (that I may not be unintelligi ble quite to the bottom of this page) I must tell your grace in English, that I have made a painter bestow the forefaid ornaments round about you (for upon you there needs none), and am, upon the whole, pleased with my picture beyond expreffion. I may now fay of your picture, it is the thing in the world the likeft you, except yourself; as a cautious perfon once faid of an elephant; it was the biggest in the world except itfelf. You fee, madam, it is not impoffible for you to be compared to an elephant: and you must give me leave to fhew you one may carry on the fimile. An elephant never bends his knees; and I am told your grace fays no prayers. An elephant has a moft remarkable command of his fnout, and fo has your grace, when you imitate my lady Orkney. An elephant is a great lover of men, and fo is your grace for all I know; though from your partiality to myfelf, I should rather think you love little children, I beg you not to be difcouraged in this point: remember the text which I'll preach upon the first day I am a parfon, Suffer little children to come unto me.-And, defpife not one of thefe little ones. * Lord William will conftrue this Latin, if you fend it to Isleworth, No, No, madam-defpife great beafts, fuch as Gay; who now goes by the dreadful name of, The beast of Blois, where Mr. Pulteney and he are fettled, and where he fhews tricks gratis, to all the beafts of his own coun ry, (for ftrangers do not yet underftand the voice of the beaft.) I have heard from him but once, Lord Warwick twice, Mrs. Lepell thrice: if there be any has heard from him four times, I fuppofe it is you. I beg Mr. Blundell may know, Dr. Logg has received ordination, and enters on his functions this winter at Mrs. Blount's. They have chofen this innocent man for their confeffor; and I believe moft Roman catholic ladies, that have any fins, will follow their example. This good prieft will be of the order of Melchifedeck, a prieft for ever, and ferve a family from generation to generation. He'll fland in a corner as quietly as a clock, and being wound up once a week, ftrike up a loud alarum on a funday morning. Nay, if the chriftian religion fhould be abolished (as indeed there is great reafon to expect it, from the wisdom of the legislature), he might at worst make an excellent bonfire; which is all that (upon a change of religion) can be defired from an heretick. I do not hope your grace fhould be converted; but however, I with you would call at Mrs. B's out of curiofity: to meet people one likes, is thought by fome the best reafon for going to church; and I dare promife you'll like one another: they are extremely your fervants, or else I should not think them my friends. I ought to keep up the cuftom, and ask you to fend me something. Therefore pray, madam, send me yourfelf; that is, a letter; and pray make hate to bring up yourself, that is all I value, to town. I am, with the truest respect, the leaft ceremony, and the most zeal, Madam, Your grace's, Most obedient, faithful, And most humble fervant, A POPE. "Mr. Hamilton, I am your's." There is a fhort letter for you. Account of an ExPERIMENT made to render WOOD lefs combufiible. HAving two glazed pipkins, I put a quart of river water into each, and in one of them two ounces of alum, and in the other one ounce of common sea falt, and the fame quantity of white vitriol, all grofsly powdered, ftirring until the falts were diffolved; I then put into each -pipkin a piece of dry English and foreign oak, mahogany, beech, and Norway deal, all being half an inch thick, and kept down in the liquid' by two large flints, the reafon for which is obvious. At the end of thirteen days all were taken out, and dried in the fhade a month; then putting a piece of wood, of each fort and fize with the above-mentioned, (to which nothing had been done) upon a clear fea-coal fire, they were entirely confumed in fix minutes, thofe impregnated with falt and vitriol in feven, and those with alum in eight minutes. Though the above experiment did not fully anfwer my expectations, yet it is probable that the mineral and vegetable kingdoms do produce fubftan ces, |