immortal souls, my heart seemed to be opened at once, and I was enabled to cry with great ardency; I was distressed to think that I should offer such dead cold services to the living God! My soul seemed to breathe after holiness, and a life of constant devotedness to God. But I am almost lost sometimes in the pursuit of this blessedness, and ready to sink, because I continually fall short. O that the Lord would help me to hold out, yet a little while, till the happy hour of deliverance comes!"

In July, he was examined by an association of ministers, respecting his piety and learning, and received from them a licence to preach the Gospel of Christ. From this period we take our leave of him as a novitiate, and he now presents himself to us in the amiable and interesting character of a minister. Perhaps no man ever felt a deeper sense of the importance and awful responsibility of this office than did Brainerd : he was overwhelmed with a consideration of his own meanness and entire insufficiency, and many a time with a soul awed and almost oppressed by the greatness of his undertaking, he ascended the pulpit with trembling steps, and a palpitating heart. There was, as a minister, nothing confident, nothing of arrogance, or self-gratulation, from the display which he was enabled to make of his talents, about David Brainerd. He seemed to live but for one and a widely different object, the display of the divine glory in the conversion of immortal souls; every inferior consideration was absorbed in this. He possessed, in a very superior degree, the talent of representing truth in a lively, affecting manner, and his address was solemn and impressive. This, with an unabating ardour in the great pursuit for which he lived, rendered his preaching every where highly acceptable and useful.

His remarkable devotedness to his work, his patient perseverance through spiritual trials and difficulties of another kind, soon attracted the attention of his brethren in the ministry; and all looked forward with

pleasing hope to the great benefits which, if spared, the Church of God would derive from his eminent services. The Rev. Mr. Pemberton, of New York, fixed upon him, in his own mind, as a suitable person to preach the Gospel to the Indians, and accordingly, wrote him a pressing invitation, "to visit New York, and consult about the Indian affairs in those parts, and to meet certain gentlemen there who were entrusted with the management of those affairs."

The purport of this letter was quite in unison with the feelings of his soul; he who had so often prayed for the heathen, and wept over their miserable state, was of all men the most likely to enter with his whole heart into any plan, the object of which was to assist and evangelize them. This was the case; and after much prayer, and the serious advice of Christian friends, he acceded to Mr. Pemberton's proposal; he conferred not with flesh and blood: the love of Christ constrained him. On his arrival at New York, he was introduced to the correspondents of the Society for promoting the knowledge of Christ in the highlands of Scotland, and in Popish and Infidel parts of the world.

This benevolent society, in a day when the subject of missions was most criminally neglected, and a missionary spirit but little felt, stood unfriended and alone. But its object was noble, its commission divine: the poor heathens had, in this institution, an active and a zealous friend. In the promotion of the grand design of its association it was indefatigable; pitying the state of the American Indians, who were, indeed, without hope, and without God in the world, they commissioned their correspondents in America to look around them for a man of God, who, with suitable qualifications, would be willing to undertake the arduous work of a missionary to wild barbarians. The providence of God directed them to Brainerd ; and their first interview was highly satisfactory to them,

and encouraging to him: armed with self-denial, and animated with a noble zeal to propagate the Gospel of Jesus in those regions, where its light had never shone. All who conversed with him were fully persuaded that it was the will of God that he should go "far away unto the Gentiles;" and with readiness, yet with the deepest self-abasement, the holy Brainerd gave himself up to the glorious work.

CHAP. IV.

The state of his mind previous to entering upon his great undertaking. Probable reasons of his dejection and mental exercises. His destination as a missionary. His visiting the Indians at Kaunaumeek.

THE period upon which we are now entering, was to Brainerd a season of deep mental affliction. Like his Divine Master, he must be tempted before he commences his public engagements. Brainerd was abou to honour God in a remarkable manner, and Satan is determined to assail him with all the artillery of hell. It is truly affecting to turn over the pages of his diary at this painful interval; the irreligious mind may indeed consider them as the memorials of weakness, and may stigmatize religion as the cause of all the melancholy and distressing feelings which they record. But the man who has any knowledge of the human character, and who understands the nature of true religion, will form a very different opinion.

Mr. Brainerd having resolved on becoming a missionary, immediately began to prepare himself for the

arduous task; to settle his temporal affairs; to examine his own heart; to look all the difficulties he should have to encounter in the face; and to take an affectionate leave of his numerous and highly respected friends.

At this time, he gave a most striking proof of the disinterestedness of his motives, and of his entire devotedness to the cause of God. Having a small estate, bequeathed him by his father, he generously determined (imagining that money would be no assistance to him in his missionary undertaking) to educate for the ministry, some young person of abilities and piety. Such an one he found, whom he denominates a 66 dear friend," and as long as he lived he liberally supported him at college. This instance of generosity discloses a lovely feature of his character; but his diary, at this season, exhibits him struggling with the vileness of his nature, sinking under a sense of his own unworthiness, and almost ready to abandon a work for which he was ready to sacrifice the dearest temporal interest on earth. Luther was qualified for eminent usefulness by three invaluable teachers: prayer, meditation, and temptation. And in the school of these instructors, Brainerd acquired a profound knowledge of his own heart; of the loveliness, excellence, suitableness, and glory of the Redeemer; and of the subtilty, power, and malice of his worst enemy. It was this which, no doubt, enabled him to speak to others with so much wisdom, pathos, and faithfulness, and which qualified him to be an affectionate adviser in all cases of conscience and mental affliction. He was thus a scribe well instructed, thoroughly furnished for every good word and work. A few extracts from his diary, in which he relates his painful conflicts, will illustrate the truth of the above remarks. Not that he was always thus dejected; he sometimes mentions spiritual enjoyment and delight, but for the most part we find him in the deep waters. Jonathan Edwards informs us, that for twelve days he was extremely dejected,

discouraged, and distressed, and evidently very much. under the power of melancholy, "and there are (says he,) from day to day, most bitter complaints of exceeding vileness, ignorance, corruption, and amazing load of guilt, unworthiness to creep on God's earth, everlasting uselessness, fitness for nothing, &c. and sometimes expressions, even of horror, at the thoughts of ever preaching again."

“Jan. 14, 1742. My spiritual conflicts were unspeakably dreadful, heavier than the mountains and overflowing floods! I seemed inclosed in hell itself; I was deprived of all sense of God, even of his being; and that was my misery. This was distress, the nearest akin to the damned's torments, that I ever endured; their torment, I am sure, will consist much in a privation of God, and consequently of all good. This taught me the absolute dependance of a creature upon the Creator, for every crumb of happiness it enjoys. Oh! I feel that if there is no God, though I might live for ever here, and enjoy not only this, but all other worlds, I should be ten thousand times more miserable than a toad. My soul was in such anguish I could not eat, but felt, as I supposed a poor wretch would, that is just going to the place of execution. I was almost swallowed up with anguish, when I saw the people gathering together to hear me preach. However, I went to the house of God, and found not much relief in the first prayer: but afterwards God was pleased to give me freedom and enlargement, and I spent the evening comfortably.

"Lord's-day, Jan. 23. Scarce ever felt myself so unfit to exist, as now: I saw I was not worthy of a place among the Indians, where I am going; I thought I should be ashamed to look them in the face, and much more to have any respect shown me. Indeed I felt myself banished from the earth, as if all places were too good for such a wretch as I; I thought I should be ashamed to go among the very savages of Africa; I appeared to myself a creature fit for nothing, neither heaven nor earth. None knows, but