"I did not say," quoth Jones, that Ate three, I only spoke of two!" "Two! in the name of truth, and who you Dared to say that? It is a spanker!" "Well, it comes retail from Bob Danker." "I'll Danker him," so off goes Weeks, The blood high mounting in his cheeks. He meets Bob in the market place"Vile caitiff! come! we're face to face, How dare you say, to gull the flats, That I last night, ate two live cats ?" "Two," replied Danker-"that's rare fun, I promise you, I said but one!" "Well, one, you slanderer, why say that? How dare you say I ate a cat?" "'Twas Taylor told me so," said Bob. "If so," says Tim, "I'll knock his nob." So off he set, brim full of rage, Vowing the fiercest war to wage Against old Taylor-soon he meets him, And with a dreadful poke he greets him :"Taylor!" he cried, with flashing eye, "How could you utter such a lie? You told the folks I ate a cat!" "Oh! no, I never said that! So pray your savage sputter spare, He sought his mother-"Oh, mother, mother, "I didn't," said she, “I said a rabbit.” "My wife," says Tim-" Then, 'tis a bouncer, 848276A ""Tis true, indeed," she quick replied. Tim ope'd his eyes with wild surprise, Aloud he cried, half petrified, "Good gracious, how folks STRETCH IT!" AUNT NANCY'S MIND ON THE SUBJECT. From Harper's Bazar. And this is the new New Testament, MARGARET E. SANGER. And 'tis come in the sweet o' the year, Through many a summer and winter past, Till they've straightened the moods and tenses out, And softened the strong, old-fashioned words Collated the ancient manuscripts, And faithfully done their very best To improve the book divine. I haven't a doubt they have meant it well, That we needed the trouble it was to them, On either side of the sea. I cannot help it, a thought that comes You know I am old and plain But it seems like touching the ark of God, And the touch to my heart is pain. For ten years past, and for five times ten I've made and mended and toiled and saved, With my Bible ever near. Sometimes it was only a verse at morn Like the springing wings of a sweet-voiced lark And sometimes of Sunday afternoons 'Twas a chapter rich and long, I studied the precious words, my dear, I may be stubborn and out of date, I cannot be changing at my time; It would be losing a part of myself. I cling to the one my good man read THE SPIDER. A PARAGRAPHER'S IDEA IN REGARD TO THIS REMARKABLE INSECT. From the Boston Transcript. The spider belongs to the order Arachnida; and in order to write an interesting article about him, one must rack an idea or two from his poor brain. The spider should be a good swimmer. As he is nearly always walking about on his web, of course he is webfooted. He is very fly. The spider is very fond of the fly. He has no head. He needs none. He always gets ahead of the fly. The spider is a very devout insect, and is never ostentatious in its devotions; but you may often see one after its prey. They are wanting antennæ-that is to say, there antennæ on them. The spiders are weavers by profession. Weaver notion you were aware of that, however. There is a silk spider. He is always found among his 'ilk. You have often seen the spider hanging to a single thread. It thread-ends to fall every moment. The poet was thinking of the spider when he said, "Beauty draws us with a single hair." Every spider has its single lair. Something single lair about this. The fly can never get the hang of the spider. Hang the spider, he says. A woman always screams when she sees a spider. If the spider 'spied her first there might be a scream-age. Then there is the fry spider. It is made of iron. The maid of all work should keep her eye on it. The female spider is very affectionate to its young. The young are likewise fond of their mother. They have often They are never ashamed to in their affection ate her. live on their mother. The spider is a good climber. It can be found in almost every clime. The books mention tribes of men who eat the spiders, but most men shun them altogether. As long ago as 1600, Sir John Davies sang of the "subtle spider." But in the army were sutler things. We do not refer to Sir John this time. The surgeon was all right. There is the bottle spider. Men who are familiar with the bottle can see this variety in greatest profusion. The spiders are diverse in their religious learnings. They are divided in sects. The maiden spiders are all spinsters. The most remarkable spider we ever beard of was the insect which Robert Bruce saw, swinging from a beam. He should not beam mentioned among ordinary spiders. This spider had to swing himself to the next beam. He had hard work of it. Probably his 'wings were clipped. If we remember rightly, he tried it a dozen times unsuccessfully. Dozen this speak eloquently of the spider's perseverance? The spider weaves his web; the web is a tissue; this story about Bruce's spider is probably a tissue-of falsehoods. 'Tissuesual to get up such ridiculous stories about great men. "TWO TOLLAR?" From the Detroit Free Press. There was a slight blaze on the roof of a house on Russell Street a few days ago, and when the insurance adjusters went up to make their survey they found that about two dollars would cover all the loss. |