PAGE. On the Other Train... Only a Pin. O'Reilly's Nightmare.. Spider, The.. Spring Birds.. ..................... Mike's Confession.... Million All in Gold, A.. Miser's Grave, The... Mr. Caudle's Hat... Mr. Spoopendyke's Bathing Dress. Mr. Spoopendyke in the Surf.. Observations of Rev. Gabe Tucker.................................................... Over the Hill From the Poor-House............ Will Carleton........ .117 .................. ..133 .178 Too Late for The Train.................................... True Story of Santa Claus, The... True Tale of William Tell, The.. 91 ..148 .. 82 ..103 ..118 ..129 85 .137 166 .141 34 We freely remarked that, for a fellow with brains, His answer was thin, too, when Johnson said, Was just what he said; but we made up our minds And that he had slipped the committee, But wisely kept his under-jaw shut. When you find a man starving on the prairie, We fed him just like a young baby, On spoon vittles and such soothing things,⚫ Until his stomach got stronger, Then he tackled jerked venison, by jinks. But we made ourselves understood plain enough, That Jones gave him down at the ditch And one day we said that at sundown He looked kinder lonesome and sad, Where Custer and his brave boys went. Them Injuns just made our camp lively, But a woman rushed in all frantic, Was there a man in camp who dared Not a man, nor the whole camp would go. 'Twas sure death to venture within shot or call Of the Sioux with fleet ponies and fatal aim; But that "Cowardly Jim" just quietly said, "If he wasn't intrudin' on any one's right, He'd bring back the baby alive or dead." That stirred things in camp some, you reckon? The daringest thing on earth for him "Twas many a prayer that went up for Jim, While a pin would have dropped with a sound. And then we saw him racing for life, With red devils in swift pursuit; A rideless pony, every minute or so, And a puff of smoke told when Jim would shoot. He reeled and fell from the saddle; That's the blood-stained floor where he laid, And he smiled as he said, "Here's the baby; Never mind the price that I paid." We knew that his time was all up, Brave, noble, old Cowardly Jim. We raised him in our arms to die, And, stranger, thar wus angels with him. My baby is waiting for me," he said, "At those gates of pearl, I feel; Husband, you wronged me; some day you'll know That your Mamie was true as steel." Why, what could he mean by all that? His husband? Jim was out of his head. That's her grave over there on the hill, And alone there she'll wait the last call. But such as it was I have told; And, of all the treasure we found in the Hills, JIM BAKER'S BLUE-JAY YARN. MARK TWAIN (SAMUEL L. CLEMENS.) From "A Tramp Abroad." There *** Animals talk to each other, of course. can be no question about that; but I suppose there are very few people who can understand them. I never knew but one man who could. I knew he could, however, because he told me so himself. He was a middle-aged, simple-hearted miner who had lived in a lonely corner of California, among the woods and mountains, a good many years, and had studied the ways of his only neighbors, the beasts and the birds, until he believed he could accurately translate any remark which they made. This was Jim Baker. According to Jim Baker, some animals have only a limited education, and use only very simple words, and scarcely ever a comparison or flowery figure; whereas, certain other animals have a large vocabulary, a fine command of language and a ready and fluent delivery; consequently these latter talk a great deal; they like it; they are conscious of their talent, and they enjoy “showing off.” Baker said, that after long and careful observation, he had come to the conclusion that the blue |