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will strike you; till we add, of course thing of the weight of two bolls-and by a legitimate conclusion from the milliners go to work like millers. The premises—especially the major pro- carts have all got the white-vomit. position, which you take care to And now, through the meal and keep in your own hand-you knock flour that lightens--not darkens the down the ruffian.
air-how fly the more than peripaThe absurdity of this sort of ana- tetic potatoes ! You might fondly logical reasoning from wasps to
dream at small expense of poesy, Whigs, became particularly trans- that the mealies and waxies, as they parent in the old and new town of revolve through the many-circled Edinburgh on this disgraceful day. air in fantastic gyrations, have been No single ruffian would have dared for the nonce endowed with wings to look at you even in the darkest like butterflies or birds; till ever and close ; for he knew not but that you anon you are awakened from the might be a true man, and feared the dear delusion by a bash on the face Tory-fist. But compress some thou- from a morning call from an unsand cowards into a close and com- ceremonious visitor without either pact mob-mass; and though in the down or plumage. Allover the empty mud there be but the “ false seem- sack-bestrewn street or square of ing” of courage, yet there is there a market-town on market-day, through formidable reality of brute-force, an atmosphere afloat with the almost which may sweep the streets as a invisible spiritual essence of wheat, spate the gutters. But, oh! how oats, and barley, shines out the merunlike the mighty measured march ry-the wicked sun, as fond, undisof that fine Highland regiment, guisedly, of a row by day, as the those noble young fellows, officers moon, hypocritically, by night. Beand men alike, the 79th—“ moving neath that soft, aerial, yet dusty and along with military glee” to the wild almost husky haze, rolls and raves a mountain music of their streamer'd sea of men, women, and children, as bagpipes—and the mean and mis- when a neap-tide comes flowiug cellaneous movement of a Lowland beachward in a pitchy swell illurabble, tumultuously rushing, the mined with a crest of breakers. Shut devil only knows where or where- your eyes, and the dashing din refore, to the filthy flats and sharps of minds you of sea and shipwreck. But their windpipes too, their own greasy 'tis an inland town— not a sailor gullets, which emit yells even more there—though tailors in tens and vulgar than they are ferocious ! twentiesmaperilous people, and frac
We have seen many mobs in our tious exceedingly-shepherds from time, and without vanity may say that the hills-farmers from the carsewe havea scientificacquaintance with horse-cowpers from the plains-cattheir most remarkable phenomena. tle-dealers from the isles-horseMeal-mobs, even, have we assisted at, men travellers in the hard, and eke (you are a French scholar, and know in the soft line—(videlicet nails and our harmless meaning,) that were sugar)—bagmen in gigs from farat once beautiful and sublime. How away towns and cities-forty miles picturesque the many-coloured ga- off at the shortest computation—pedthering of the clans into a mottled lars on their annual excursion among multitude, harmoniously proportion- their rural customers—learned clerks ed even in its irregular patches of on a visit to their native place from men, women, and children, hatted, the confinement of a coach-officebroad-bonneted, mutched, capped, and the stubborn versus the obstiand bareheaded, with grey and gold- nate pig-drivers, sulky from the suben tresses all mingling in the wind, urbs, personified curses with upand here and there a bald sconce lifted cudgels all a-swear for ever at black in a mass of shade, or brighter their own peculium of the swinish in a flood of light, that would have en-- multitude. * Creed and caste are forraptured Rembrandt! On the peace- gotten; all are instinct with one spiful sacks, high-heaped, and bulging rit. The barber is bound by symover the waggon-wheels, how fierce pathy to the smith-in spite of both the onslaught! Feeble elders find the formal and essential difference now that their backs can yet bear of their tongs; and you see the tailor many firlots—hobbletiboys make no- flourishing his tiny scissors alongVOL. XXIX. NO, CLXXXI,
side the ditcher brandishing his still in their respective carts, with hedge-sheers like a very Polish Scy- staff-supported trams, affording to ther. Out sallies Sally of our alley each dobbin's back pleasant relieffrom the dairy, whirling her churn- and a woollen or canvass bag of oats staff-and meets the cook of the dangling daintily (as Barry Cornwall “ Hottle" with her spit, full in the would say for the thousand-andface red as her own fire. Weans oneth time) at his fine Roman nose, that had been fechting and rugging which ever and anon he caveth sudone another's hair, now amicably denly (see Dr Jamieson) unite in still farther emptying sacks to shake off the teasing flies, or on a already full of emptiness—now and sudden smites it against his fat flank, then licking up a mouthful " of the in anger with the clegs (see, again, finest," till their faces are “like roses the Doctor); wbile you cannot but in cranreuch," and auld wives, in- admire the nobleness of his clustering stead of " gi'en them their licks," forelock, norless the unshorn strength encourage the imps in their deeds of
that roughens at his fetlocks, and whiteness, and grossly abuse the shags the very iron that glances-as barns, and vituperate the garnels. he kicks or stamps-on his “inacTost to and fro is that multitudinous cessible” heels. Quiet has been the motion, as when cross currents, cross rational animal, and all his compeers, winds, and cross tides meet in some amidst the irrational creation; in a strange-shaped sound between inex- meal-mob on Saturday feeding away plicable capes, and list! in the centre as gratefully as in a grass meadow on of the mid-passage a whirlpool, Sabbath. And now the canine have learnedly called vortex-roaring ceased barking-and cur, colley, terthrough the spray-mist for ever, with rier, bull-dog, mastiff, setter, greythe noise of innumerable chariots. hound, and lurcher, (ah ! the poachThe contest is carried on here ex- ers,) are snuffing their way in search, clusively between animate and in- each of his own master, through the animate matter. The drivers have broken fragments of the disparting all fled, and are seen high up on hill- and disparted crowd. What a change sides, and darting, like deer, into of scenery and figures, both on forewoods. Nevertheless, nothing very ground, and background, and in the violent can be done in a religious middle distance ! Curls have been country like Scotland without cur- all drenched out of matrons' and sing and swearing; but here we have maidens' hair (why so many of them not, as in the sister kingdom, much carroty ?) by streams of sweat,-or, variety of oaths—the few simple na- as the very village dames have learntural ones being, however, most ed now to call it-perspiration. What blasphemous and brutal. Blood is a picking-up, and a putting-on, and an flowing; so there must have been adjustment, without looking-glass, of blows—but one really sees no cause kerchiefs of spot or stripe, Belcher or of quarrel; for, like a bull in a china- Bandana! Sad the loss, and joyful shop, the mob has it all his own way, the recovery of much mutch; the ornor can an empty sack offer much der of the garter goes a-begging in varesistance; though in a fall a full one rious lengths of tape-honi soit qui is formidable, as you may learn from mal y pense ; " Mysie, ma woman, is those feet sprawling under a load this your bauchle ?"; and, by all that that leaves you in doubt if they have is most fashionable, yonder scours a any intermediate connexion with spanker-boom-an Amazonian virthat“ grey discrowned head,” face gin with legs fearful to look on-sans downwards in the gutter. And where, huggers, sans shoes, sans mutch, sans pray, may now be the primum mobile petticoat, sans every thing-jinking of all this hubbub—the meal ? Va- round carts and corners, amidst the nished from all mortal eyesight into unextinguishable laughter of the now thin air like a ghost! A mournful roistering rioters, almost skuddy, shew-there lie the empty sacks, such has been her tear and wearof like sheet and shroud left by resur- duds in the rippet, and laudable rection-men unshovelled into the her not uncandid exhibition of the grave! There stand—as they have naked truth in the eyes of the whole åll along been standing-small, snug, world!-Afraid she too—all the while and not unsocial parties of horses, as she scuds that some mischief has befallen her lover-now nowhere vi- ing loosely together, and soon unsible, distractedly, and with a face of tying themselves into strings of lazy many colours—as she ranges round loiterers, who again drop away, one her own kail-yard, far aloof from these by one, into their own houses, or by ribald reformers-shrieks she on her twos and threes into publics ; you Bill! her whole Bill! and nothing but hear the smith re-blowing up his her Bill! whom she fears the wretches forge; from his skylight Snip pops have curtailed of his fair propor- out his pericranium, curious he tions. But long since her dear Bill knows not of what, ere he sit down had withdrawn to the Hanging-shaws, to serious stitching; laddies, mufrom the clutch of some ancient bel- tually cuffing the few remaining dams who began the mob, and at night- meal-marks out of each other's jackfall she may depend on him at the ets, pursue their path pensively to gable end of yonder barn-like build- school, almost with the looks of ing by itself on the wood edge, true evil-doers; douce folk (why not to the hour of assignation as buck to douce before ?) are shaking their doe when the quiet hour brings out heads in a style at once mysterious the conies, whole and sound both in and alarming; and who may those his principles and his details. Boys men be, preceded by a few who are jumping sack-races now for half- seem to march with a military step, penny prizes given by the drunken with staves, alias batons, in their gauger; and the chief baker stands hands? Heavens and earth! has it smilingly at his door, with bare arms come to this—and are they, groans an a-kimbo, prophetic of the rise of his antique crone, the Lord High Conbread-even of the batch now in the stables ? Something of that sort they oven. Slow and stately from the certainly are—followed by the farmmanse on the brae, in its green-pali- ers and the farmers' men-to identify sadoed garden, down comes, at what and seize the ringleaders. Violence may be safely called the eleventh is evanescent, but law eternal. The hour, though yet it be but breakfast- village is in a funk-death-pale as time, the minister-yet pompously she would swarf. “Where," asks the redolent of last year's moderatorship King of the Lord High Constables, --and attempts explaining to his pa- “ where, folk, is the CORPUS DELICrishioners, out of M'Culloch, how Ti?” Not a soul in the village can tell the price of meal and four is enhan- -for not a soul in the village knows ced alike in town and village, by the import of that dreadful question. scattering it, in immense quantities, But there lies the poor lost corpus along the stony streets, which, whe- delicti, faintly whitening the streets ther paved or Macadamized, are bar- as if there had passed along them a ren-and thus sown can yield no re- hundred chinky lime-carts. 'Tis a turn. From this doctrine there are critical moment—but lo, lightning! many dissenters; and one of the old and bark, Jove thunders on the left school predicts, with all the confi- _a happy omen! Well—such andence of assured experience, that other plump of rain, each drop as next market-day they will see meal big as a blae-berry, we cannot charge down twopence the peck; at least, our memory with since last Lammas so it always has been with the spille flood. The ducks are already in the ing of sour-milk-and, though he is gutters—and that dead cat, which willing to grant that sour-milk is not every body complained of, but nomeal, yet they are both commodities; body would remove, will be floated and what is more vivers; and what away at last into the Leithen. The always happens with the wet, must corpus delicti is providentially done often happen with the dry. To which into daigh, and he would be a finereasoning, the ex-moderator, having eyed farmer who could swear now got the stot by rote, stutters out an to his own meal. But the sacks ! ineffectual and unsatisfactory reply, Why the sacks are to seek—and are leaving the victory, by acclamation, lying with truth at the bottom of a in the mouth of the sagacious old well
. But what say you to the carts annuitant, once supervisor in the and horses ? Not a word. They had Excise. And now there are in the better be driven home by their ownmarket-place but here and there ers_lest they should catch cold. some small knots of people, hang- Meanwhile the fifty pound leaseholders, and the Lord High Con- gow college. A child's hand had been stables, retire, at certain masonic judiciously hung up to dry-like a signs, with some of the chief heads haddy“ while it was being rizzer'd” of L. 10 a-year houses-retire into the -on the cheek of a window open to “ hottle," to fix among themselves the public eye--and in a minute the who ought to be apprehended asring- stones of the street leapt up into life leaders. Not considering ourselves and became raging people. No betsafe in the councils of such an unre- ter subject indeed for a mob than a formed parliament, we drop down corpse, real or imaginary, doubled from the roof on which we had chosen and bundled up with its knees to its our station of survey—the roof of an chin in a sack-or supposed to be edifica somewhat dilapidated, which stretched at even more than its full had of old been a Catholic chapel, length on a table, "gashed with many but is now a cow-house-one day or a gory
wound.” So much the better if other, perhaps, with its sacristy yet discovered by a schoolboy_“fancy's to be restored—and whistling care- painted devil”—by a peculiar crook lessly along the front windows of in the big toe of the left foot, to have the Horns, as if just entering a fine, once been his grandmother. That horopen, airy, one-streeted town, we rid aggravation makes the mob-as never look back till we have reached our dear Shepherd would say—“just a road-side grove, commanding a perfectly-right-even-down-red-wudclear view of the church tower above stark-staring-mad-a'thegither;" and the dim houses and there sitting down nothing will satisfy them but to pull on a milestone-we forget the num- down a university. Since the exploits ber-moralize on mankind in gene- of Knox, Burke, and Hare, however, ral, and the inhabitants of that pretty regular resurrectionists have grown place in particular-wondering, a- into favour, and may be said to be mong a thousand other speculations, even comparatively popular.- But whether or no it would be greatly the mob which at first was the most benefited by Burgh Reform. rational, and at last the maddest of all
Were we to paint in this style (for imaginable mobs we ever witnessed, what we meant to make but a slight was a mob that mistook a private sketch has grown into an unfinished madhouse for a bagnio, into which it picture) all the mobs that have met was rumoured young children had our eye, there would be no compu- often been enticed or entrapped for ting the longitude of this article. violation or prostitution. How the Lord George Gordon's mob of Lon- windows and doors flew into shivers don we never saw-nor were we at -and of slates in five minutes how the destruction of the Bastile-but bare were the wretched rafters! Out we have“ counted the cbimes at mid- were haled by the hair of the head night with those who of that “ dis- the old crones, who, in a woeful but port took largely,” and who were no wicked sense, were keepers—but always ready at the slightest hint, no procuresses they--and you would though during their later years it have thought that the very curses of must be confessed somewhat prosily, eyes
would have blasted them ere to describe thc pastime with true reli- claws had time to tear them into gious and patriotic enthusiasm. The pieces. Well might you pity the poor Newcastle keelmen get up a mob visiting physician-skipping out in a well-nor much amiss do the White- full suit of black, with laced ruffles, haven colliers. The Tranent mob and silver buckles, and gold-headed about the militia, some thirty years
cane, and his “ wee three-cockit !" ago, was about the best, that is the But lo! glaring ghastly, like wildbloodiest, we have had in Scotland in cats from a wood on fire, rush out our time, and the people fell under of their cells several shrieking mathe fire of musketry from the tops of niacs, and leap, though arm-locked in their old red houses in no inconsider- strait-waistcoats, and two or three of able numbers. The mob of the Bloody them in chains, all females, in among Hand-80 we named it who were the frightened crowd that recoil in students there that session-looked horror-while others stalk forth unso well at its acme, that there seem- conscious of the tumult, blind and ed small
reason for doubting that it deaf in their insanity to all we call the would effect the demolition of Glas. world, yet wailing in a worse world of their own—a world worse than “any and scrupulous regard paid to the hell which priests or beldams feign" unities of time and place. The scene -as all now see from their wan and shifted but from the Old to the New haggard faces, ever and anon dread Town—an allowable license—and fully convulsed into leering wicked the time occupied in the representness, and then suddenly wrenched ation did not exceed twelve hours, back, as if by the demon within them, the period, we believe, prescribed, into tortured misery-just the same, as the utmost limit, by Aristotle or seemingly, as if one had pulled a his commentators. The Lord Adstring whereby to keep incessantly vocate delivered a feeble prologue shifting the features of some mo- with forcible applause—and by about vable mask into all possible faces of three o'clock was concluded the the ludicrousness, the loathsome First Act, which though hot, heavy, ness, or the dreadfulness of mania, and hissing, as a tailor's goose frenzy, and delirium. What a re
nay, even as the Glasgow Gander vulsion when, all at once, the truth himself-waddled its way off and on broke upon the mob! Monster no the stage, the exit being equal to the more-the multitude was but as one entrance, the débouché to the début. man. It sighed—it groaned -it wept Contrary to all rules of nature and -it bowed down its head—it held of art, in the Second Act we were faup its hands-it prayed. There pity voured with the catastrophe. But it and compassion, and remorse and proved a complete failure. The acpenitence, were even rifer far than, tor who was to throw the Lord Proa few minutes before, had been wrath vost over the bridge, having neglectand the lust of blood. “The mob"- ed to attend the rehearsals, did not said we,as we beheld the gentle bear. know how to lay hold, forgot his ings along in arms of them whom part, struck his own forehead instead some one has dared to call the “God of Glen's, and not having activity to deserted”—“the mob is a Christian.” leap into the orchestra among the But our memory forsakes us, and fiddlers, as a horse did one night not fades away glimmeringly into obli- very long ago, the ass retreated tail vion and the black extinguishment foremost in among the scene-shifters, of night.
and ill fared the cuddie in his own Masters as we are, then, of mobs, crowd. The opening of the Third you will easily believe that we are Act shewed us some spirit-stirring not easily pleased with such exhibi- scenery, in which there was no still tions of humanity—that we are enti- life—the High and Low Terrace, tled to be fastidious-—and that, unless and head of Leith Walk, from the got up spiritedly, and on a considera- Register House to Ambrose's hotel, ble scale, neither author nor actors the opposite and extreme points of can expect any applause from such an vision being Prince's Street and Piold critic as Christopher North. We cardy. There was a good deal of either yawn at the stale and stupid re- bustle in this act-but the actors presentation, or hiss the piece off the were absolute stones, and many of stage. Now the mob, on the day of the them had faces like brickbats. The Edinburgh Election, was a mean and interest hung on a battle, and on a miserable affair, and most deserved- city distracted with civil war. But ly damned. The piece prepared for such fighting! Never beheld our him, in which he was to act the prin- young or old eyes so abortive a bickcipal part, possessed not one glimpse er. There were far too many blackof genius-one trait of originality guards on the stage at one time—and and was borrowed, or rather stolen, we might have said, “ Enter the from the Westminster Election and mob solus.” Conscious of miserably the Westminster Review. The only enacting the parts that had been set endurable characters were “the walk- them by the managers, they anticiing gentlemen;" but they were so pated or rather turned the tables on few as to be lost in the general the audience or spectatory, and not blackguardism of the scene. Yet only hissed, but battered the dress was there an attempt to give a clas- boxes, in one of which was sitting sical air to this farce of the Modern the Lord Provost with some of his Athenians. It was constructed on friends; while two persons, one prag. the principles of the Greek drana, matical and one pedantic, who