And once a month she does appear
On this domestic errand here.
If of a maid she wants the use,
Her woman comes to pick and chuse ;
But if a man, she is so nice,
She comes herself to make the choice.
A widow rich, who gives high wages,
If they should please, whom she engages :
But he must be of such a size,
And look so well in her keen eyes,
That she scarce one in twenty sees
Fit to wear her rich liveries.
There's
's one who has a squinting eye-
I know full well she'll pass him by;
On one poor rogue she'll turn her back
Because his frightful beard is black;
Another will not eat her bread
Because his frizzled crop is red;
These are too weak,—and those too strong,
And some an inch too short or long:
She'll take the best-made of the bunch,
But would be fainting at a hunch.
-Thus then, according to my plan,
Sir Jeff'ry Gourmand is the man;
But to his questions pray reply
Without the veil of mystery:
Your story from your very youth,
If he should ask it-tell the truth;
Your errors fail not to unfold-
In telling them be firm, be bold;
While you your better virtues own,
E'en let your mischiefs all be known,
But let not folly blazen forth
Whate'er you have of conscious worth;
Express the ill with down-cast eye,
And veil the good with modesty ;
Though, if you can with prudence poke
Into your tale a funny joke,
Fear not, 'tis what his humour loves,
As his own daily chit-chat proves ;
And while he does his bev'rage quaff,
At what he says-be sure you laugh.
But should you not his service suit,
He will not play the churlish brute;
And if not gone too far astray,
May serve you in some other way.
Thus you must see I do my best-
To Fortune I shall leave the rest:
But now I see Sir Jeff'ry enter,
And I must leave you to your venture."
Sharpsight then after humbly greeting This huge man-mountain of good eating, For a few minutes in his ear,
Told that which he alone could hear.
The Knight then cast a curious eye
On Johnny, who was standing by,
And just enquir'd from whence he came,
What was his age, and what his name;
Whom he had serv'd, and why he left
The place of which he was bereft ?
"If, Sir, it were not thought too free, If I might take the liberty,
I would not wish you here to wait
While I my strange condition state,
As it would take an hour or more,
My various story to explore;
Tho' 'tis not such, that I should fear
The tale to tell or you to hear:
You, who will kind allowance make
For wants that press, and hearts that ache,
And passions that restraint disdain
When justice sues, and sues in vain ;
And 'tis to that tale I refer
For name, for age and character,
Whom I have serv'd, and what the scene Where my frail manhood's years have been : And if you will but condescend
To my young hist❜ry to attend,
And will not the fond hope deny me,
That you, good Sir, will take and try me,
And let my rude, misgotten shape
From your observance to escape,
You will command,-I will obey;
When you may see from day to day,
How far, Sir, I may make pretence
To your good grace and confidence."
"Then be it so," the Knight replied, "I trust I may be satisfied.
I'm told there's something droll about you,
But droll'ry will not make me scout you;
Nor do I mind, my friend, the pack,
Which you now wear upon your back:
We're rather equal on that score-
Your's is behind, and mine's before;
Nay, when of both I take a view,
Mine is the larger of the two."
QUE GENUS, with a ready grace,
Lifted his hat to hide his face;
But still he so arrang'd the screen
That his gay visage might be seen;
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