He would, though cash did not abound,
Advance me then four hundred pound.
I took the notes and thought it best
To wait the settling of the rest;
But soon I saw, as I'm alive,
That I had sign'd receipt for five.
My fingers caught the fraudful paper,
At which he 'gan to fume and vapour,
And let loose language full of ire,
Such as you bastard, rascal, liar,'
On which I caught him by the nose,
And gave the wretch some heavy blows,
Nay, as the blood ran down his face,
I dash'd the ink all in his face,
So that his figure might have done
E'en for the pit of Acheron.
Inky black and bloody red
Was o'er his ghastly visage spread,
As he lay senseless on the floor,
And, as I then thought, breath'd no more.
-The office, now a scene of blood,
Most haply in the garden stood,
So that our scene of sanguine riot
Did not disturb domestic quiet:
The notes were in my pocket stor❜d,
And the receipt was in the hoard;
But as I now believ'd him dead,
I thought of being hang'd-and fled.
Nor did I make the whisky wait
Which then stood at the garden gate.
The driver who there held the reins,
Took me through many secret lanes
And woodland roads, that might evade
Pursuit, if
any should be made.
He had an humble play-mate been
When I was sportive on the green;
like me, to manhood grown, Was as a skilful driver known;
And would have gone to serve QUE GENUS
Though fire and water were between us.
I told him all the fears I felt,
And how I had with Gripe-all dealt ;
Nay, urg'd him, if I were pursued,
To cheat the blood-hounds, if he could,
All which he mainly swore he would.
Nay, hop'd I'd given him such a drubbing,
As to send him Beelzebubbing;
Though, first or last, he sure would go
To his relations down below.
"Thus as we talk'd a mail-coach pass'd,
And as I could not go too fast,
I found, perchance, an empty seat,
And thus I made a quick retreat;
Nay should, in eight and forty hours,
By the wheels' ever-rolling powers,
Have a secure retirement found,
Safe from pursuit, on Scottish ground.
But as Misfortune, it is said,
Calls in associates to her aid,
And, indeed, is seldom known
To pay her visits all alone;
So either from the sultry weather,
Or anxious thoughts, or both together,
I was stopp'd short in my career,
By intermitting fits severe
Of heat and cold: a Galen came,
And Julep was the good man's name,
For truly good he prov'd to me
In skill and in humanity.
"'Tis not,' he said, 'disease alone,
Which various symptoms have made known,
But they're encreasing as I find,
By a disturb'd and anxious mind,
And if that cannot be subdued,
Med'cine will do but little good.'
I therefore, my distresses told,
In short, my story did unfold,
While, as I spoke, in his kind eye,
I saw the tear of sympathy,
And did beneath his roof receive
The care that pitying skill could give.
"The fever wag'd a painful strife, A struggling chance 'tween Death and Life, That play'd upon my yielding spine, Which did to outward curve incline: I felt the mark would ne'er forsake Its cruel seat upon my back;
I bent beneath the foul disaster
That ne'er would yield to any plaister :
Nor medicine, nor knife can cure it,
And must struggle to endure it.
Thus when restor❜d to health and vigour,
I was become a crook-back'd figure:
My former round and healthful face
Had lost its plump, its rosy grace,
And was reduc'd from this same cause
To pale and lean and lantern jaws,
That none who once QUE GENUS knew
Would recollect him on the view;
Nor e'en would recognition wait
Though he should pass by Gripe-all's gate.
When in the glass I chanc'd to view,
The figure I now scarcely knew,
I shudder'd and despis'd it too.
-'At length,' said Julep, I commend,
Ere you depart, a worthy friend,
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