She sat herself down to cry,

And Captain MacBride, who sat by her side,
Though I really can't say that he actually cried,
At least had a tear in his eye!

The morning dawn'd-and the next-and the next,
And all the mansion were still perplexed;

Her thoughts having taken a sombreish train,
Lady Jane walk'd on the esplanade, to and again,
With Captain MacBride, of course, at her side,
Who could not look quite so forlorn-though he tried.
An idea, in fact, had got into his head,

That if poor dear Sir Thomas should really be dead,
It might be no bad "spec" to be there in his stead,
And by simply contriving, in due time, to wed
A lady who was young and fair;

A lady slim and tall,

To set himself down in comfort there

The Lord of Tappington Hall.

Thinks he, "We have sent half over Kent,

And nobody knows how much money's been spent,
Yet no one's been found to say which way he went!
Here's a fortnight and more has gone by, and we've tried
Every plan we could hit on-the whole country-side,
Upon all its dead walls, with placards we've supplied,
And we've sent round the Crier and had him well cried-
'MISSING!! Stolen or strayed, lost or mislaid,

A GENTLEMAN; middle-aged, sober and staid;
Stoops slightly, and when he left home was array'd
In a sad-color'd suit, somewhat dingy and fray'd;
Had spectacles on with a tortoise-shell rim,

And a hat rather low-crown'd, and broad in the brim.
Whoe'er shall bear or shall send him with care

(Right side uppermost) home, or shall give notice where
The said middle-aged GENTLEMAN is, or shall state
Any fact that may tend to throw light on his fate,
Shall receive a REWARD of FIVE POUNDS for his trouble.
N. B.—If defunct, the REWARD will be double!!

Had he been above ground he must have been found.
No; doubtless he's shot-or he's hanged- -or he's drown'd!

Then his widow-aye! aye!—But what will folks say!
To address her at once-at so early a day!

Well-what then? who cares!-let 'em say what they may-
A fig for their nonsense and chatter!-suffice it, her
Charms will excuse one for casting sheeps' eyes at her!"

When a man has decided, as Captain MacBride did,
And once fully made up his mind on the matter, he
Can't be too prompt in unmasking his battery.
He began on the instant, and vowed that her eyes
Far exceeded in brilliance the stars of the skies-
That her lips were like roses-her cheeks were like lilies,
Her breath had the odor of daffy-down-dillies !—

With a thousand more compliments equally true,

And expressed in similitudes equally new!

Then his left arm he placed round her jimp, taper waist—

Ere she fixed to repulse, or return his embrace,

Up came running a man at a terrible pace,

With that very peculiar expression of face

Which always betokens dismay or disaster,

Crying out 'twas the gardener-"Oh, ma'am! we've found master!"

"Where? Where?" screamed the lady; and echo screamed "where?"

The man couldn't say There!" He had no breath to spare.
But, gasping for air, he could only respond

By pointing-he pointed, alas! TO THE POND.

'Twas e'en so-poor dear knight-with his specs and his hat He'd gone poking his nose into this and to that;

When, close to the side of the bank, he espied

An uncommon fine tadpole, remarkably fat!

He stoop'd; and he thought her his own; he had caught her!
Got hold of her tail-and to land almost brought her,
When-he plump'd head and heels into fifteen feet water!

The Lady Jane was tall and slim,

The Lady Jane was fair;

Alas for Sir Thomas !-she grieved for him,

As she saw two serving-men, sturdy of limb,

His body between them bear.

She sobb'd and she sigh'd; she lamented and cried,

For of sorrow brimful was her cup;

She swoon'd, and I think she'd have fall'n down and died,
If Captain MacBride had not been by her side,

With the gardener; they both their assistance applied,
And managed to hold her up.

But when she "came to," oh! 'tis shocking to view
The sight which the corpse reveals!

Sir Thomas's body it look'd so odd-he

Was half eaten up by the eels!

His waistcoat and hose, and the rest of his clothes
Were all gnaw'd through and through;

And out of each shoe an eel they drew,

And from each of his pockets they pull'd out two!
And the gardener himself had secreted a few,
As we may well suppose;

For, when he came running to give the alarm,
He had six in the basket that hung on his arm.

Good Father John was summon'd anon;
Holy water was sprinkled, and little bells tinkled,
And tapers were lighted, and incense ignited,
And masses were sung, and masses were said

All day for the quiet repose of the dead,

And all night no one thought about going to bed.

But Lady Jane was tall and slim

And Lady Jane was fair,

And ere morning came that winsome dame

Had made up her mind-or, what's much the same,
Had thought about once more changing her name.

1 And she said with a pensive air,

To Thompson, the valet, while taking away, When supper was over, the cloth and the tray"Eels a many I've ate; but any

So good ne'er tasted before!

They're a fish, too, of which I'm remarkably fond-
Go-pop Sir Thomas again in the pond-

Poor dear!-HE'LL CATCH US SOME MORE!"

THE NANTUCKET SKIPPER.

Many a long, long year ago,

Nantucket skippers had a plan

of finding out, though "lying low,”

How near New York their schooners ran.

They greased the lead before it fell,

And then by sounding, through the night,
Knowing the soil that stuck so well,
They always guessed their reckoning right.
A skipper gray, whose eyes were dim,
Could tell, by tasting, just the spot,
And so below he'd "douse the glim'
After, of course, his "something hot."
Snug in his berth, at eight o'clock,

This ancient skipper might be found;
No matter how his craft would rock,

He slept for skippers' naps are sound.
The watch on deck would now and then
Run down and wake him, with the lead;
He'd up and taste, and tell the men
How many miles they went ahead.

One night, 'twas Jotham Marden's watch,
A curious wag-the peddler's son;
And so he mused (the wanton wretch !)
"To-night I'll have a grain of fun.

We're all a set of stupid fools,

To think the skipper knows by tasting,

What grounds he's on; Nantucket schools

J. T. FIELDS.

Don't teach such stuff, with all their basting!"

And so he took the well-greased lead,

And rubbed it o'er a box of earth

That stood on deck-a parsnip-bed,

And then he sought the skipper's berth. "Where are we now, sir? Please to taste." The skipper yawned, put out his tongue,

And opened his eyes in wondrous haste,
And then upon the floor he sprung!

The skipper stormed and tore his hair,
Thrust on his boots, and roared to Marden,
"Nantucket's sunk, and here we are

Right over old Marm Hackett's garden!"

DOT BABY OFF MINE.

CHAS. F. ADAMS.

Mine cracious! Mine cracious! shust look here and see
A Deutscher so habby as habby can pe.
Der beoples all dink dat no prains I haf got,
Vas grazy mit trinking, or someding like dot;
Id vasn't pecause I trinks lager und vine,
Id vas all on aggount off dot baby off mine.
Dot schmall leedle vellow I dells you vas queer;
Not mooch pigger roundt as a goot glass off beer,
Mit a bare-footed hed, and nose but a schpeck,
A mout dot goes most to der pack of his neck,
Und his leedle pink toes mit der rest all combine
To gife sooch a charm to dot baby off mine.

I dells you dot baby vos voǹ off der poys,
Und beats leedle Yawcob for making a noise;

He shust has pecun to shbeak goot English, too,

Says "mama," and "bapa," and somedimes "ah-goo!" You don't find a baby den dimes out off nine

Dot vos quite so schmart as dot baby off mine.

He grawls der vloor ofer, und drows dings aboudt,

Und poots efryding he can find in his mout;

He dumbles der shtairs down, und falls vrom his chair,
Und gifes mine Katrina von derrible sckare;
Mine hair shtands like shquills on a mat borcubine
Ven I dinks off dose pranks off dot baby off mine.
Dere vas someding, you pet, I don't likes pooty vell;
To hear in der nighdt dimes dot young Deutscher yell,