Addington. He is turning continually round every other ftar. Let him but approach in the leaft towards Canning, Fox, or even the smallest planet, he is carried away by their motion. Pitt exerts over him the influence of the moon, which poffeffes the power of raifing or lowering the tides. This ftar is rapidly approaching to an eclipfe. EPIGRAM ON THE NEW SERIO-COMIC PIECE 66 THE CARAVAN;" NOW Attic wit's o'ercome by Gothic rage, While, honest Carlo, envying even you, Hampstead. THE HUMBLE PETITION OF THE INHABITANTS OF MR. PIDCOCK'S MENAGERIE, TO MR. REYNOLDS, TH SHEWETH, HAT your Petitioners have been long immured within these walls, bereft of liberty and independence, and pining in ficknefs and defpair: That a ray of hope has this morning beamed into their cells, when they were informed by a humane vifitor, that one of their race, which human pride debafes under the name of brute, has been appointed to act a part in one of your dramas*. Your Petitioners have heard that the dog CARLO obtained "univerfal applaufe from a most brilliant and overflowing audience;"-that he difcovered moral feeling as well as dramatic fkill; for "he fmiled" at his mafter, and "did not turn tail upon him for faving a fellow-creature's life:" nay, * The Caravan, an afterpiece firft performed at Drury Lane Theatre, Dec. 5, 1803. they they have been informed that Carlo abfolutely fecured the fuccefs of the piece; for, after having been in the water, he fhook more wit from his hairy coat (estimating it by the laughter of the audience) than fell from his master's tongue, though very jocofe; and at the conclufion, he received all the praife, nothing being heard but, "An't he a fine dog? Did you fee the dog? How excellently he did it!" &c. &c. Now your Petitioners fufpect that this applaufe will be for him but temporary; they have no doubt that a fympathy was excited between the creature and his fpectators, a greater part of whom in the boxes are faid to be of the canine race; and as puppies do not acquire the faculty of feeing till the ninth day, they will certainly be blind for a fhort time to his most undramatic tricks. And as they are well convinced that you defpife the proud criticifm which will cenfure the introduction of this brute, as a paltry trick, a grofs abuse of the drama, and a most miserable want of tafte, we hope that in your next piece you will be good enough to affign characters to fome or all of us, wherein we may acquire more permanent fame for you and for the Theatre. And your Petitioners fhall ever pray, &c. Signed, for the Society, AS S one of our Theatres has lately been dignified by the appearance of a new Performer, who cannot, like Shenstone, be grateful that his name is not liable to a pun, there is every reason to expect an inundation of that species of wit threatening to overflow the banks of of the newfpapers, and carry with it Bonaparté and the Invafion-Windham and the Volunteers the Doctor and his Income Tax and every other obftruction or rubbish it may meet with in the way. Already the wits in the Green-room, in the Lobbies, and in the Coffeehoufes, are furbishing up their old jokes on dogs and puppies, and the epigrammatifts are fharpening their points on this important fubject. Upon all thefe confiderations, and to prevent counterfeits, I beg leave to fend you a fpecimen of the best puns that have been, or fhall be, or can be made; and by virtue of all the authority I am vefted with, I hereby prohibit and forbid all perfon or perfons to make use of any other puns, quirks, or quibbles, for the space of three weeks from the date hereof. 1. Although the players of both houses have lately not had the privilege of giving orders, the new performer has his bones regularly fent to him. 2. The Caravan was originally intended to be a five-act piece, but the Managers recommended it to be cur-tailed. 3. Some critics think that there are too many performers engaged in the new Entertainment at Drury Lane. The Stage literally overflows with them. 4. It is confidently faid, that the Managers of a certain Theatre have made a Grand Junction with the New River Company. 5. The audiences are now fo.crowded to fee the new performer, that a worthy City Baronet declared it put him in mind of the dog days! 6. We are extremely unwilling to touch upon the private foibles of the theatrical corps, when they do not interfere with their profeffional engagements; but we are compelled to obferve, that on Monday night's performance Mr. Carlo was evidently in liquor! 7. Mr. Reynolds very properly gave up his Comedy * "The Three Per Cents,” performed Nov. 12, and withdrawn after the first night. in compliance with the taste of the town. With refpect to his new Farce, he may be permitted to be more dog-matical! 8. The fpectators in the gallery, who love nature, are particularly delighted with the scene of real water. "None of your made ftuff!" 9. The dearth of good dramatic writers is a general complaint, yet perhaps the real caufe is indolence.There are few men who might not produce an Entertainment, if they would fet doggedly about it! 10. The critics think the new performer's part is. too fhort, and object that it is all dumb fhow. The author, perhaps, had not a word to throw to a dog!” 11. Since the appearance of the new performer at Drury Lane Theatre, Mr. Fofbrook declares that he is every day worried for places. 12. The public in general are furprised to see fuch a large piece of real water collected every night; but fome threwdly fufpect that Mr. Carlo gives them a lift there too! 13. The expenfe of our theatrical amusements, compared with those of the French, has fometimes been remarked by travellers. They muft allow, however, that we now are entertained dog-cheap. 14. Players of both fexes have long complained of critics as a fnarling race. They may rejoice now that they have got a brother on the ftage, who will fnurl and bite with any critic. 15. Notwithstanding the ferious pofture of public affairs in this country, our tafte for the amufements of the drama increases very rapidly. It has, indeed, become a canine appetite. Fifteen to the dozen is honeft meafüre, Mr. Editor, and I hope will fuffice for the prefent. Should there be a farther demand, I fhall be ready to come forward a fecond time. In the mean while, I congratulate the town on this important acquifition, which muft likewife be acceptable to Government itfelf, as this is only performer on either stage who is directly taxed to the exigencies of the State. SIR, IN I am, Sir, your humble fervant, DOG-BERRY. CARLO verfus DOG-BERRY. "Pun-ica mala leges."-VIRG. N pointing his wit againft me for fetting myself up for an actor, your correfpondent Dog-berry verges into doggerel, and deferves a licking. However, it is but a pun-y effort at beaft, by which he has four-footed all title to curtefy. For all the clapping I get, I despise fawning, but I will not be run down; and if he recurs to his tricks, and fpreads more of thofe waggish tails which he nofe are mere idle jaw that muft Shock every well-bred creature, he may perhaps be unkennelled and dragged into view, and finally hunted out of fociety. This I will tell him to his teeth. Sir, I am now no rover, but hold-faft by my engagement. I was fcent for to fill a part which I cannot help fticking to; and notwithstanding all the spleen Dog-berry vomits, I fall returu to it every night whilst I tarry-here. I do not pretend to dive into his motives; but fink or fivim, I fhall (as a matter of course) purfue him through all his windings, ftrip off his bark, expofe the litter of blind abfurdities which he whelps, and take care that he no longer impofes on the world with falfe collars. How I mean to proceed, is a fecret which he fhall not worm out of me though he should go mad. But I am on the watch, and fhall bring him down on his bare bones. I am not difpofed to pick quarrels, but I will not lear to |