CHA P. V.

Several adventures that happened to the author. The execution of a criminal. The author fhews his skill in navigation.

I

Should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness had not expofed me to feveral ridiculous and troublefome accidents: fome of which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into the gardens of the court in my smaller box, and would fometimes take me out of it, and hold me in her hand, or fet me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the Queen, he followed us one day into thofe gardens, and my nurse having fet me down, he and I being close together, near fome dwarf apple-trees, I must need fhew my wit by a filly allufion between him and the trees, which happens to hold in their language, as it doth in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue watching his opportu pity, when I was walking under one of them, fhook it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol barrel came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit me on the back as I chan ced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on my face; but I received no other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my defire, because I had given the provocation.

Another day Glumdalclitch left me on a fmooth grassplot to divert myself, while fhe walked at fome diftance with her governess. In the mean time there fuddenly fell fuch a violent shower of hail, that I was immediately by the force of it ftruck to the ground: and when I was down, the hail-ftones gave me fuch cruel bangs all over the body, as if I had been pelted with tennis-balls; however, I made a shift to creep on all four, and fhelter my felf by lying flat on my face on the lee-fide of a border of lemon-thyme, but fo bruised from head to foot, that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at, becaufe nature in that country obferving the fame proportion through all her operations, a hail-tone is near eighteen hundred times as large as

one

one in Europe, which I can affert upon experience, having been fo curious to weigh and measure them.

But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the fame-garden, when my little nurfe believing fhe had put me in a fecure place, which I often intreated her to do, that I might enjoy my own thoughts, and having left my box at home to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the garden with her governefs, and fome ladies of her acquaintance. While he was abfent, and out of hearing, a fmall white spaniel belonging to one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident into the gar den, happened to range near the place where I lay : the dog, following the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his mouth ran ftrait to his master, wagging his tail, and fet me gently on the ground. By good fortune he had been fo well taught, that I was carried between his teeth without the leaft hurt, or even tearing my cloaths. But the poor gardener who knew me well, and had a great kindnefs for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me up in both his hands, and asked me how I did; but I was fo amazed and out of breath, that I could not speak a word. In a few minutes I came to myself, and he carried me fafe to my little nurfe, who by this time had res turned to the place where the left me, and was in cruel agonies when I did not appear, nor anfwer when she called: fhe feverely reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up, and never known at court; for the girl was afraid of the Queen's anger, and truly, as to myfelf, I thought it would not be for my reputation that fuch a story fhould go about.

This accident abfolutely determined Glumdalclitch ne ver to trust me abroad for the future out of her fight. `I had been long afraid of this refolution, and therefore concealed from her fome little unlucky adventures that happened in thofe times when I was left by myself. Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made a ftoop at me, and if I had not refolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a thick efpalier, he would have certainly carried me away in his talons. Another time walking to the top of a fresh mole-hill, I fell to my neck in the hole, through which that animal had caft up the earth, and coined fome lye, not worth remembering, to excufe myself for fpoiling my cloaths..

cloaths. I likewise broke my right shin against the fhell of a snail, which I happened to stumble over, as I was walking alone, and thinking on poor England.

I cannot tell, whether I were more pleased or mortified to obferve in those folitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at all afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard's distance, looking for worms and other food, with as much indifference and fecurity, as if no creature at all were near them. I remember, a thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a piece of cake that Glumdalelith_had just given me for my breakfast. When I attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly turn against me, endeavouring to pick my fingers, which I durft not venture within their reach; and then they would hop back unconcerned to hunt for worms or fnails, as they did before. But one day I took a thick cudgel, and threw it with all my ftrength fo luckily at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and feizing him by the neck with both my hands, ran with him in triumph to my nurse. However the bird, who had only been stunned, recovering himself, gave me fo many boxes with his wings on both fides of my head and body, though I held him at arms length, and was out of the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking_to let him go. But I was foon relieved by one of our fer. vants, who wrung off the bird's neck, and I had him next day for dinner by the Queen's command. This linnet, as near as I can remember, feemed to be fomewhat larger than an England swan.

The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their apartments, and defired fhe would bring me along with her, on purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked from top to toe, and lay me at full length in their bofoms, where with 1 was much difgufted; because, to say the truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins; which I do not mention, or intend, to the disadvantage of thofe excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of refpect; but I conceive that my fenfe was more acute, in proporti on to my littleness, and that those illuftrious perfons were no more difagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the fame quality are with us in England.

And,

And, after all, I found their natural fmell was much more fupportable than when they used perfumes, under which I immediately fwooned away. I cannot forget that an intimate friend of mine in Lilliput took the freedom in a warm day, when I had used a good deal of exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me, although I am as little faulty that way, as most of my fex: but I fuppofe his faculty of fmelling was as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of this people. Upon this point I cannot forbear doing juftice to the Queen my mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whofe persons were as fweet as thofe of any lady in England.

That which gave me most uneafinefs among these maids of honour (when my nurse carried me to visit them) was to fee them ufe me without any manner of ceremony, like a creature who had no fort of confequence: for they would ftrip themselves to the skin, and put on their fmocks in my presence, while I was placed on their toylet, directly before their naked bodies, which I am fure to me was very far from being a tempting fight, or from giving me any other emotions than thofe of horror and disgust. Their skins appeared fo coarfe and uneven, fo variously coloured, when I faw them near, with a mole here and there as broad as a trencher, and hairs hanging from it thicker than pack-threads, to fay nothing farther concerning the reft of their perfons. Neither did they at all fcruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to the quantity of at least two hogfheads in a veffel that held above three tuns. The handsomest among those maids of honour, a pleasant frolicfome girl of fixteen, would fometimes fet me aftride upon one of her nipples, with many other tricks, wherein the reader will excufe me for not being over particular. But I was fo much displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive fome excuse for not feeing that young lady any more.

One day a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurfe's governess, came and preffed them both to fee an execution. It was of a man who had murdered one of that gentleman's intimate acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the company, very much against her inclination, for fhe was naturally tender-hearted: and as for myself, although I abhorred fuch kind of spectacles,

yet

yet my curiofity tempted me to fee fomething, that I thought must be extraordinary. The malefactor was fixed in a chair upon a fcaffold erected for that purpose, and his head cut off at one blow with a fword of about forty feet long. The veins and arteries fpouted up fuch a prodigious quantity of blood, and fo high in the air, that the great Jett dieau at Versailles was not equal for the time it lafted; and the head, when it fell on the scaffold floor, gave fuch a bounce as made me start, although I were at least half an English mile distant.

The Queen, who often used to hear me talk of my fea-voyages, and took all occafions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I understood how to handle a fail or an oar, and whether a little exercise of rowing might not be convenient for my health: I anfwered, that I understood both very well: for although my proper employment had been to be furgeon or doctor to the fhip, yet often upon a pinch I was forced to work like a common mariner. But I could not fee how this could be done in their country, where the smalleft wherry was equal to a first-rate man of war among us, and fuch a boat as I could manage would never live in any of their rivers. Her Majefty faid, if I would contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and fhe would provide a place for me to fail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by my inftructions in ten days finished a pleasure-boat, with all its tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was finished, the Queen was fo delighted, that fhe ran with it in her lap to the King, who ordered it to be put in a cistern full of water with me in it by way of trial; where I could not manage my two fculls, or little oars, for want of room. But the Queen had before contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to make a wooden trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight deep; which being well pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed on the floor along the wall in an outer room of the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to let out the water, when it began to grow ftale; and two fervants could easily fill it in half an hour. Here I often used to row for my own diverfion, as well as that of the Queen and her ladies, who thought themfelves well entertained with my skill and agility. Some