SCENE I. [Before the house of Antipholus of Ephesus.]

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus, ANGELO, the goldsmith, and BALTHAZAR, the merchant.

Ant. E. Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;

My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours.
Say that I linger'd with you at your shop
To see the making of her carcanet,

And that to-morrow you will bring it home. 5
But here's a villain that would face me down
He met me on the mart, and that I beat him
And charg'd him with a thousand marks in
gold,

And that I did deny my wife and house. Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?

10

Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart.

But, soft! my door is lock'd. Go bid them let us in.

Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Ginn!

Dro. S. [Within.] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!

Either get thee from the door or sit down at the hatch.

Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store

When one is one too many? Go get thee from the door.

35

Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.

Dro. S. [Within.] Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on 's feet. Ant. E. Who talks within there? Ho, open the door!

Dro. S. [Within.] Right, sir; I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.

Ant. E. Wherefore? For my dinner. I have not din'd to-day.

Dro. S. [Within.] Nor to-day here you must not, come again when you may.

Ant. E. What art thou that keep'st me out from the house I owe?

Dro. S. [Within.] The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.

Dro. E. O villain! thou hast stolen both mine office and my name.

The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle

blame.

If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place,

Thou wouldst have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass.

Enter LUCE [within].

Luce. [Within.] What a coil is there, Dromio? Who are those at the gate?

Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce. Luce. [Within.] Faith, no; he comes too late: And so tell your master.

Dro. E.

O Lord, I must laugh Have at you with a proverb - Shall I set in my staff?

Luce. [Within.] Have at you with another that's-When? Can you tell?

Dro. S. [Within.] If thy name be calle Luce, Luce, thou hast answer'd hin well.

Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? You let us in, I hope?

Luce. [Within.] I thought to have ask'd you
Dro. S.
[Within.] And you said n
Dro. E. So, come, help: well struck! ther
was blow for blow.

Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.
Luce. [Within.] Can you tell for whose sake
Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard.
Luce. [Within.] Let him knock till it ach
Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I be
the door down.

Luce. [Within.] What needs all that, and pair of stocks in the town?

And that supposed by the common rout
Against your yet ungalled estimation
That may with foul intrusion enter in
And dwell upon your grave when you are dead;
For slander lives upon succession,

For ever hous'd where 't gets possession.

105

Ant. E. You have prevail'd. I will depart in quiet,

And, in despite of mirth, mean to be merry.
I know a wench of excellent discourse,
Pretty and witty, wild, and yet, too, gentle. 110
There will we dine. This woman that I mean,
My wife but, I protest, without desert -
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal.

To her will we to dinner. [To Ang.] Get you home

And fetch the chain; by this I know 't is made.

115

Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides myself.

Ant. S. What woman's man, and how besides thyself?

Dro. S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.

Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee?

Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as * a beast not that, I being a beast, she would have me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.

Ant. S. What is she?

Dro. S. A very reverend body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of without he say "Sir-reverence." I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.

Ant. S. How dost thou mean a fat marriage? Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen wench and all grease; and I know not what use to st put her to but to make a lamp of her and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags and the tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday, she 'll burn a week longer than the whole world.

Ant. S. What complexion is she of?

Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept: for why, she sweats; a man may go over shoes in the [ grime of it.

Ant. S. That's a fault that water will mend Dro. S. No, sir, 't is in grain; Noah's flood could not do it.

Ant. S. What 's her name?

Dro. S. Nell, sir; but her name and thre quarters, that's an ell and three quarters, wil not measure her from hip to hip.

Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth?

Dro. S. No longer from head to foot than [1 from hip to hip. She is spherical, like a globe I could find out countries in her.

Ant. S. In what part of her body stand Ireland?

Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I four it out by the bogs.

Ant. S. Where Scotland ?

Dro. S. I found it by the barrenness; ha in the palm of the hand.

Ant. S. Where France ?

Dro. S. In her forehead; armed and verted, making war against her heir.

Ant. S. Where England?

Dro. S. I looked for the chalky cliffs, but could find no whiteness in them; but I guess stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.

Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherads?

Dr. S. Oh, sir, I did not look so low. To clade, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to ; called me Dromio; swore I was assur'd to Ler; told me what privy marks I had [146 about me, as, the mark of my shoulder, the

le in my neck, the great wart on my left A that I, amaz'd, ran from her as a witch. And, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith and my heart of steel, had transform'd me to a curtal dog and made me turn i' the wheel.

150

DS. As from a bear a man would run for life.

159

fr I from her that would be my wife. [Erit. 48. There's none but witches do inhabit here:

And therefore 't is high time that I were hence. that doth call me husband, even my soul for a wife abhor. But her fair sister,

'd with such a gentle sovereign grace, 165 teh enchanting presence and discourse, ra almost made me traitor to myself.

t myself be guilty to self-wrong, Kup mine ears against the mermaid's song. Enter ANGELO with the chain.

g. Master Antipholus,

Ay, that 's my name. ing I know it well, sir; lo, here is the bain.

171

Zght to have ta'en you at the Porpentine; an unfinish'd made me stay thus long. 4. What is your will that I shall do with this?

4-7 What please yourself, sir; I have made it for you.

175

A. Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it

ACT IV

SCENE I. [A public place.]

Enter SECOND MERCHANT, ANGELO, and an OFFICER.

2. Mer. You know since Pentecost the sum is due,

And since I have not much importun'd you;
Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
To Persia and want guilders for my voyage.
Therefore make present satisfaction,
Or I'll attach you by this officer.

10

Ang. Even just the sum that I do owe to you Is growing to me by Antipholus, And in the instant that I met with you He had of me a chain. At five o'clock I shall receive the money for the same. Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house, I will discharge my bond and thank you too. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and DROMIO of Ephesus from the courtezan's.

Off. That labour may you save; see where he comes.

Ant. E. While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou

15

And buy a rope's end; that will I bestow
Among my wife and her confederates,
For locking me out of my doors by day.
But, soft! I see the goldsmith. Get thee gone,
Buy thou a rope and bring it home to me.
Dro. E. I buy a thousand pound a year! I
buy a rope!
[Exit.

20

Ant. E. A man is well holp up that trusts to you.

I promised your presence and the chain,
But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me.
Belike you thought our love would last too

long,

25

If it were chain'd together, and therefore came not.

Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the

note

How much your chain weighs to the utmost

carat,

$1

The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion,
Which doth amount to three odd ducats more
Than I stand debted to this gentleman.
I pray you, see him presently discharg'd,
For he is bound to sea and stays but for it.
Ant. E. I am not furnish'd with the present

money;

35

Besides, I have some business in the town.
Good signior, take the stranger to my house;
And with you take the chain, and bid my wife
Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof."
Perchance I will be there as soon as you.
Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her
yourself?

40

Ant. E. No; bear it with you, lest I come not time enough.

Ang. Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain

about you?

Ant. E. An if I have not, sir, I hope you

have,

Or else you may return without your money.

And teach your ears to list me with more heed
To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight;
Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk
That 's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry
There is a purse of ducats; let her send it. 10
Tell her I am arrested in the street
And that shall bail me. Hie thee, slave, b
gone!

On, officer, to prison till it come.

[Exeunt [2. Merchant, Angelo, Off cer, and Ant. E.].

Dro. S. To Adriana! That is where w din'd,

1

Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husban She is too big, I hope, for me to compass. Thither I must, although against my will, For servants must their masters' minds fulfil. [E [SCENE II. The house of Antipholus of Eph sus.]

Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA.

Adr. Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so? Mightst thou perceive austerely in his eye That he did plead in earnest? Yea or no? Look'd he or red or pale, or sad or merrily What observation mad'st thou in this case Of his heart's meteors tilting in his face? Luc. First he deni'd you had in him no rig Adr. He meant he did me none; the m my spite.

Luc. Then swore he that he was a stran