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and Kargu to the bist Edventige. and log book, and obtained a deYo wil sea by mi Lug Buk, witch cree against the whole owners of i haf sipt by "Tomas Gons mi Mat, the ship and cargo, with full exthat I prefúrmed wunders. I sai pences of process. riturn ovr land furst hopertunty, Our hero's father was never and akunt to yu for the nat porseeds less in humour with polite and genof the Vasal and Kargu. Ekspektin teel education than at present. Had to sea yu shun.
Mr MacSycophant fallen into his “I am, Dir Feather, Yur hands, he would certainly liave torn
“ Efekshoned Sun, him to atoms. Fortunately he was " WILLM HOPFIL." 70 miles distant; but the diploma
he had given young Billy, along This polite epistle will be per- with a letter he had written his fectiy intelligible to such of your father, on his appointment to the readers as have received a genteel ship, and in which he declared our education, though it may be totally hero as well qualified to be a above the comprehension of those Naval commander as any man in who have been educated in the sub- Europe, were produced before the stantial and vulgar way. This lug Court. Such a scene was never bak, (as he calls it) was kept in presented to any Judicature. Mr the same polite style. I shall here, MacSycophant's character of our for the instruction of the polite part hero was in the most unqualified of your readers, make a few extracts and hyperbolic strain of panegyric, from it.
whilst his letter and log book, spoke Gurnal of a Vog from Lith to a very different language. Indeed Kebek.
our young naval commander kept
such a journal as never had, and « Gune 5d 170055. Salled from probably never will liave, any parLithi with a fir wund. Gune 6t, at allel in Europe, for he often reckNun, by absarfeshon fund wi wer oned the easterly variation of the in letude 67 dicrees, 95 minits compass as high as 395o. Dorth. Wund du Waist, Gune 7st As this truly laughable and ridicupaced the Pantalan Furth, wund lous scene was re-echoed, in the difEst and by Sath. Gune 8st, no ab- ferent newspapers from one end of sarfeshon. Sky cludi and havi shurs. the kingdom to the other, Mr MacGune 9rd at Nun, ajustit the Kad. Sycophant thought it high time to rant, and Assimuth Kompace, fund decamp. Under pretence of bad the letude 70 dicrees, and 63 min. health, he returned to his native its North Lonjetud 9 dicrees, 122 country, France, having in the minits Est. &c. &c. &c.”
course of 10 years realized a forNo words can do justice to the tune of L.15,000. It was discoveremotions of the father on receipted when too late, that his system of this letter. Three fifths of the of education was so rapid and genship and cargo belonged to the fa- teel, that it could serve no earthly mily of the Hopefuls, and as more purpose whatever. than two years had elapsed since Our hero being assured that Bri. the ship was heard of, complete tain was an island, and that it was payment of both ship and cargo impossible to return to it by land, had been recovered from the un was very much at a loss how to act. derwriters, who now instituted a He was at present in possession of process for repayment, and obliged about L.3,000 from the sale of the Billy's father to prodace said letter ship and cargo. He therefore de
termined to push forward to the ing the British government in InEast Indies, and make his fortune dia at one blow, and with this view at once.
He sailed on board a arrived at Seringapatam, and offerDutch ship bound to Batavia, and ed his services to Tippoo Saib, who thence to Bombay. The only ac was at this time introducing Euroquaintance he had in this part of pean military tactics into his artheglobe was Lieutenant
my. Glad of such an acquisition, of one of our hero's father's ten. (for Billy blustered, and promised ants, an officer in the Company's a hundred times more than the most service, who received him in the skilful Generals could have performmost friendly manner, and question- ed,) Tippoo entered into terms with ed him as to his intentions and fu- him. ture views in India.
The next day a regiment of inBut how surprised was he to find fantry were drawn up, and Billy orour hero determined to accept of dered to put them through the Euno situation or office except that of ropean exercise, in which they had Commander in Chief. He argued already made considerable progress. with him at full length, on the mad- Attention, bawled our hero. ness of such an attempt, and advis- well, very well, by G-d. Unfir ed him to enter the Company's ser- bayonets, the regiment remained vice as a cadet and rise by degrees, motionless. Unfix bayonets. The at the same time assuring him that regiment still remained motionless. there was no other mode, which bl-st your souls, unfix bayonets. would ultimately ensure success. Here one of the officers reminded Our hero, who always grasped at Billy that bayonets could not be unthe end, without studying the inter- fired before they were fixed. Very mediate steps necessary to attain it, right, very right! Well, gentlemen, told him, that he was a mean sneak- come to attention again. Shoulder ing fellow, fit only to crawl through arms. Vastly well done.
Ramm the inferior walks of life-That as down cartridge. Not a man stirred. for himself, he was born and edu. Ramm down cartridge. Bl-st your cated a gentleman, and was deter- eyes what do you mean. Here Billy mined to act as such. This said, was again reminded that they had he walked off, with an air of as much no cartridge to ramm down. Very importance as if he had been the true! Well, gentlemen, come to the Emperor of China. Lieutenant shoulder again. Present arms. Adwho was a well informed young mirably done. Fire. Not a man man, from this instant, set our hero stirred. Fire. Fire. All was motiondown as an arrant blockhead, and less. Fire. D-n your souls, why determined to have no further con- don't you Fire. Because they have cern with him.
not loaded, exclaimed Tippoo in a It is needless, as well as impossi- rage, informing our tactician that ble, to enumerate one hundredth he had no farther occasion for his part of our hero's plans to raise services. himself to the rank of commander Poor Billy had no alternative but in chief, every one of which neces to retrace his steps to Bombay, with sarily proved abortive. He had now hardly L.10 in his pocket. On his sauntered away two years at Bom- arrival here he entered on board bay, and reduced his finances from an Indiaman bound to London, L3,000 to L100; longer delay would and worked his passage home as a have been fatal; therefore he for common sailor. He at last reached med the virtuous resolution of ruin- his father's house after an absence
of six years, but literally in rags, tried a variety of projects for makand consequently in no trim to ac. ing his fortune, but without success. count for the nett proceeds of the He was alternately seen riding in ship and cargo. Things were now a coach, and driving a dung cart, widely altered, since our hero's dining on the greatest delicacies, departure. Both his uncle and fa- or begging a morsel of bread. At ther had young families, and the fast he ventured within a few miles sextumvirate of females bad breath- of his native spot, and wrote a leted their last. His reception was ter to his father, who sent him two the very reverse of favourable. suits of old cloaths and L.10, order
Imagining however that the scenes ing peremptorily never to let him he had gone through had at least see his face. On receipt of this taught him common sense, his supply, he was as happy as a prince, friends provided him with decent and that very night spent every clothes, and urged him to choose shilling of the money in a brothel. some occupation, but how were Our hero's history now becomes they surprised to find him make pretty uniform, there is hardly a choice of Member of Parliament nation on earth which he has not for the county. Seeing him the visited. But his great and general same fool as ever, bis father com resource was begging in the characpelled him to become apprentice ter of a shipwrecked sailor. to a haberdasher of some eminence. married above fifty wives in hopes As I was in the custom of having of making a fortune, but in every some liule dealings with this same instance caught a Tartar. He neshop, I shall present your readers ver ventured to visit his native spot, with an account drawn out by our though he frequently solicited a hero.
supply from his father, and freMakum Makdomoni, Dr. quently received it.
died two years ago, and in order to To 6 yerds Flanin at
provide equally for his family, had %. 2 d.
L.1 7 114 previously sold his estate, and by To 3 yerds smal Kord
his will left our hero L.3,000. As at 2s. 10d.
soon as he heard of this circumTo 2 pars Glufs at 3s.
stance, he appeared and claimed 2d.
his legacy, which was accordingly
paid him. Ist Guly, 2 By Kash in
Had Billy's whole train of ideas 170082.) fool L. 3 15 18 not been incorrigibly genteel and Resaved at this Det. by
polite, he might now have lived
comfortably enough, on an econoIt is almost unnecessary to in. mical scale, but his views were as form you that our hero's politę high and extravagant as ever. He education was not at all calculated instantly purchased half a score of for this humble occupation. Here hunting horses, a pack of hounds, however he obtained some indis. and half a dozen double barelled tinct potions of money negotiations, guns; engaged a groom, a hunts-and having discounted a draft on man, livery servants, &c. and in six his father to the amount of L.100, months spent every shilling. Billy and embezzled his master's proper. Hopeful had now attained his 531 ty to double that amount, he elop- year, and as any alteration, in his ed, and was not heard of for three genteel propensities was total y hopeyears; during which time he had less, his natural brother Horatiu,
settled 2s. 6d. a day on him, and distinct systems of education, the took care to give him his allowance one calculated for the noble and daily. On this small pittance, with genteel, and the other for the rude a suit of old cloaths now and then, and barbarous part of mankind. By our hero contrives to get himself this means a gentleman, who is able tipsy every day, and in this state to pay handsomely, may have his I must leave him to lead the life son educated in every branch of of a gentleman during the remain- literature in as short a time as he der of his days.
pleases. Indeed those superior beBut I cannot here forbear, nor ings who are born to opulence, have do I think myself ill qualified, to vo occasion to pore
their brains out make a few observations on genteel over musty books. They have liteducation, and to rectify a few tle else to do in the world but to common mistakes on that head. eat, drink, and propagate. Their Genteel education is not, as is ge- stewart manages their estate, the nerally imagined, the production of housekeeper and cook their victuals, the present day. On the contrary the groom their horses, the attorit was as eagerly sought after 50 ney their charters, the butler their years ago as at present. Our gram- wines, &c. &c. The only plausible matical English and English ac. objection I have heard against the cents have existed upwards of a genteet system is, that it cannot century. Still I do not pretend qualify its votaries for Legislators ; to deny that genteel education has but this a mere cavil, as the merits undergone many useful and impor- or, demerits of any act of Parliatant alterations, even within these ment, are only known from the ap
probation, or snarling of the barbarIn my younger days, it was fool. ous part of mankind. An act can ishly imagined tlrat some sort of be amended, till it is rendered pacapacity and application on the latable, or if radically wrong, the part of the pupil, with profound radical cure of repeal can be adminknowledge, and consummate atten: istered. Some people have remarktion on the part of the teacher, ed, that these genteel pupils have during the long course of at least remarkably bad memories, and reten years, was necessary. But at collect no part of their education, this period, education was a kind after they come into the world. To of chaos, or undefined mass, com- this I shall only reply, that genteel prehending the semina of polite people have no need either of eduand vulgar, or (which is the same cation or memory. Lest, howeve:, thing) of superficial and substans any vulgar fellow should think this tial education. By this indigested argument inconclusive, I need only system, which was generally pure point out the noble invention of sued till within these 15 years, ina- Mynbeer Von l'einaigle, who will ny of our prime nobility, had the furnish artificial memories at the misfortune to become acquainted very low rate of L.5. 55. each. with the Greek and Roman clas- Ås to the industrious ranks of sics, and contracted a certain solid society I am sorry to observe, that way of thinking and reasoning, com- they are fast treading in the steps monly called Pedantry, which they of their superiors, and educating were never after able to shake off their children in so polite and su
The great merit of the present perficial a mamer, as totally to unage consists chiefly in dissecting quality them for any useful purpose zbois chaos, and dividing it into illo in lifce So far indeed have they
carried this propensity, that I know the public, that the one will in ea taylor's cow, that will not give very respect answer the purpose as her milk unless soothed by English well as the other, though I can afaccents, and a carter's horse, who ford my head piece for half a crown. will not move one step, unless he receives his orders in grammatical English. So long as the useful part Description of the Ruins of Sparta. of mankind are well informed, and
From Chateaubriand's Travels. substantially educated, no adminis
if ever the industrious classes should a road running direct southreach the sublime pitch of gentility west, when, at break of day, I perattained by many of our polite re- ceived some ruins and a long wall of presentatives, and instead of being antique construction: my heart be able to discriminate betwixt right gan to palpitate. The Janissary turnand wrong,) become only capable ing towards me pointed with his whip of uttering the emphatical mono- to a whitish cottage on the right, syllables Aye and No, in antiquum and exclaimed, with a look of saconfundimur chaos. To prevent so tisfaction, “ Palæochori!” I went direful a catastrophe, I would beg towards the principal ruin, which I leave to recommend to the patriotic perceived upon an eminence. On Sir John Sinclair to get a bill in- turning this eminence by the northtroduced into Parliament, making west for the purpose of ascending it felony without benefit of clergy, it, I was suddenly struck with the for any man to give his children a view of a vast ruin of semicircular polite education who is not posses- form, which I instantly knew to be sed of terra firma to the value of an ancient theatre. I am not able L. 5,000 per annum. This would to describe the crowd of feelings be fixing a permanent barrier be- which overpowered me. The hill twixt nobility and ignobility, and at the foot of which I stood, was Fould have an infallible tendency consequently the bill of the citadel to ensure the prosperity of the na- of Sparta, since the theatre was tion, and the stability of the throne. contiguous to the citadel; the ruin
As to the higher ranks, I would which I beheld upon that hill was propose no alteration. Many of of course the temple of Minerva our best kings, when granting char- Chalciæcos, since that temple was ters, were obliged to bite the wax in the citadel, and the fragments with their teeth, or add the impres- of the long wall which I had passed sion of the crucifix, Polite educa Jower down must have formed part tion indeed comes very high, and of the quarter of the Cynosuri, costs at least twenty times as much since that quarter was to the north as it did twenty years ago, but then of the city. Sparta was then it is accomplished in one twentieth before me, and its theatre, to part of the time. Mr Feinaigle has which my good fortune conducted sapplied one great desideratum in me on my first arrival, gave me at polite literature, viz, an artificial bnce the positions of all the quar. memory, and I have been labouring ters and edifices. I alighted, and hard these six weeks past, in man- ran all the way up the hill of the ufacturing an artificial head piece, citadel. and from some important experi Just as I reached the top, the ments already made upon it, I can sun was rising behind the hills of with confidence pledge myself to Menelaion. How magnificent, yet February 1812.