von dam lie ven he faid, only fourteen days before, dere vas no figns of rebellion throughout all Ireland !— I do defire, Sair, dat you vill put all dis into your Journal; and you may add, Sair, dat you infert it by "from Autorite."

I am, Sair, your tres humble ferviteur,
LOUIS RAGOUT,

Premier Cuifinier, &c. &c. &c.

MORE ABOUT IT.

A MONSIEUR MONSIEUR L'EDITEUR OF DE ORACLE.

SAIR,

I DID not believe ven I wrote to you fome time paffed an account of all dat did appeir in Dublin on the 23d of July, dat I fhould ave ad again to trouble you; neider could I ave imagine, Sair, dat my earneft endeavor to fhew dat fon premier Excellence Mr. Marfden, and fon autre Excellence my Lor Hardwic, dey vere not furprife at all ven de rebellion he did break out in Dublin, vould have met vid fo bad a return. But, Sair, my devoir to de public make it imperieufement neceffaire for me to tell de whole truth: vid grande affliction derefore I mus acquaint you, Sair, dat dere has been great change in de adminiflration of Ireland, and dat I and mon ami Vickham, ve ave loft our places. For vy my mon ami Vickham as been chaffé I do not know, unlefs Monf. Marfden he vas tink Monf. Vickham he did write de lettre I fent you fome time ago.

Now, Sair, I can affure you, fur mon honneur, dat Monf. Vickham he did not write one vord in it: it vas all mi own, and voila de raifon for vy I was obliged to refign. Monfieur Marfden, he was diablement jealous of me, and did not like any body should remain in de Chateau who could write better dan himself;

and

and bot he and de Premier Aumonier, de Docteur Abbe de Killaloo, fay dat de mutton broth I give dem, ven de ad de belli-acke fo bad on de nite of de rebellion, vas not agree vid dere bowells; fon autre Excellence, mi Lor Hardvic, who was taken vid de fame complaint, he vas tell me he vas ver much foulagé by it.

However, Sair, both for my fake, and for mon ami Vickham his fake, I beg you will reprint mi lettre to you, to prove to de vorld how ungrateful is de Irish Gouvernement to its Miniftres.

Me voici, Sair, now in England vid mon ami Vickham; he ave got a penfion-I have got anoder place, for I did vidout delai prefent mifelf to Monfieur le Docteur A' Dindon, who did avec empressement receive de offre of mi fervice as Chef de Cuifine and Premier Miniftre. As cuisinier I fhall ver much improve Monfieur le Docteur's diners, and as Premier Miniftre I fhall ver much affift Monfieur le Docteur in his Administration, and be of great utilite to vat you call your contré. C'eft vrai dat I cannot make orateur in your Parliament, but neider can mon ami Le Docteur; but I can look ver wife, and den I can give de first grand place vich falls to le petit Louis, my fon.

I am, vid great confideration, Sair,

Your ferviteur tres humble,

LOUIS RAGOUT,

Chef de Cuisine and Premier Miniftre.

Rue de Downing Street, Fevrier 10, 1804.

MONSIEUR RAGOUT

A MONSIEUR MONSIEUR LE EDITEUR OF DE ORACLE.

SARE,

HAVING great regard for you, for why dat

fo handfomely put into your papier all vat I did write to you ven I vas Miniftre in Ireland; I will now

tell

tell you fome ver grand news, which you may depend upon de truth of, becaufe vy, being Premier Mi niftre and Chef de Cuisine to my friend le Docteur A'Dindon, le Docteur tell me all he vas know, and I den tell him all he vas to do. By Gar, Sare, dere has been anoder rebellion in Dublin, and ver pretty von it vas, because vy it vas made tout expires, and nobody was frighted at all except de habitants of Dublin, and neider I nor my Docteur care for them, you know. I will now tell you all about it. You do know, Sare, dat de Chevalier Sir Jean Rotflei he was fe moque of de reconciliation diner vhich I vas prepare chez mon Docteur for fon Excellence le Gen. Fox and le Miniftre Yorke, and he vas give notice of vat you call a motion in your Parliament relatif to de littel affair in la rue de Thomas Street, in Dublin, on de 23d of July paft; and mon ami A' Dindon he vas in ver terrible fright, because vy he did remember dat he vas tell de dan lie about Ireland at dat time, for he vas fay here in your Parliament dat dere vas no appearance of rebellion in all Ireland juft at de ver time de rebellion he broke out, and he vas fay alfo, dat all vas in ver perfect quiet in Dublin at de ver moment a mill of de poudre a canon, belonging to de rebels, he did plow up, in de beau milieu of Dublin, and did make a fracas de diable; and de pauvre Docteur he vas ver mosh in de dump about all dis; fo as I and mon ami ver talking about all dis over bafin of niutton. broth (de fame vhich did fo mofh good to Monfieur Marfden his belli ven he vas fo fright de night of de 23d of July), I vas fay, "Ah ça, l'ami Docteur, for vy dont you fhew de people how vell prepare you are now for de rebellion, and make a littel rebellion of your own, dat every von he may fay, Look how "vell prepare de Docteur he is!" So mon ami he vas fay, dat vas ver excellent confeil, and I write de depèche how and all about it, and he did fend off a courier to

fon

fon Excellence Monfieur Marfden, and to fon autre. Excellence my Lor Hardwic, and did tell dem to make as if dere vas a rebellion, and to make great tintaniarre and not to be frightened. So fon Excellence Monf. Marfden he vas tell all de Aides-du-camps, and de Reverend Pere l'Abbe de Killaloe, and all de Maida, and my Lor Chancelier, and mi Lor Ca-car, and de littel Ladi Lieutenant, and all de oder great Generals, and dey did go about and fay dat Gouvernment he had information dere vas to be a rebellion, but dat pardi dey ver all prepare; and fo every von dey ver moch furprife at de vigilance of de Gouvernment, and vas no believe von vord about it. But, Sare, on de night of Tuesday de fourteenth of Fevrier, fon Excellence Monfieur Marsden, he vas put on a gros fabre, and did put two piftolets, vid noting in dem, into de vaiftband of his breeches, and he vas go down into de Caftle Yard, and did cry out, Holla! dere is de rebellion! he vas come! By Gar, Sare, de whole garrifon he vas turn out, and de Yeomanrie, and de Voluntaires, dey vas run von vay, and den vas run anoder vay, and fon Excellence mi Lor Hardwic, he vas run up into de garret, and vas look for de rebellion out of de vindow and Monfieur Marfden he vas ftrut about de Caftle Yard, and vas fay, Ventre bleu, de Gouvernment it vas not furprife; and my Lor Ca-car he was put himself into his jack bot, and vas place himself at de head of de garrifon, and dey did all fet out to look for de rebellion; and den my Lor Ca-car he vas take a regimen de dragons, and he vas ride to vat you call de Houfe of de Pigeon, close to de fea, and he was look if de rebellion vas in the fea, and he stay five hours dere, and all de garrifon, and de voluntaires, and de habitans, dey did vait till he com back, and he fend vord, dat he fee dere ver fine crabe and lobstere, but no rebellion at all; fo dey all came back, and tell fon Excellence Monf. Marfden, who vas inftamment draw

VOL. VIII.

C

out

out his fabre, as bold as de lion, and he fay he would' cut off every head of de rebel he came near; den he tell every body to mind, for fure dat he vas not frightened at all, and dat de Gouvernment it was quite prepare fo fon Excellence Monf. Marsden he vas go home again, fon Excellence mi Lor Hardwic he vas come down from de garret, fon Excellence mi Lor Chancelier he vas go write anoder letter to my Lor Fingal about de maffacre of St. Bartholomew, vhich happened in Ireland fome years ago. Son Excellence mi Lor Ca-car he vas get out of his jack bot, and de garrifon he vas get into bed again. De next day Monf. Marfden he was fend off exprefs to mon ami A' Dindon to fay dere had been littel rebellion, and dat, thank God, none of dere Excellencies had been frightened ! Now, Sare, Monf. Marfden he vas intend dat de courier vid this good news, he fhould arrive in London juft de ver day ven de Chevalier Sir Jean Rotflei.vas to make his motion, and to fay dat my Gouvernment vas not prepared; and den le Docteur Dindon he vas to make grand oration upon de vigilance, de courage, and de fermete of my Gouvernment in Ireland. But malhereufement dat dam Sir Jean he vas put off his motion, and all dis littel rebellion he vas abfolument thrown away, for de peoples dey found out it vas all vat you call von humbog, and dey fay, "By gar de only rebellion de Gouvernment is prepare for, is de fham rebellion he vas make himfelf."

I am, Sare,

Votre Serviteur tres humble,
LOUIS RAGOUT,

Chef de Cuifine et Premier Miniftre.

Rue de Downing Street, Fevrier 24, 1804.