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THE HUMBLE PETITION or The INHABITANTs of MR. PID cock's MEN AGERIE, To MR. REYNoLDS,
sHEweTH, THAT your Petitioners have been long immured
within these walls, bereft of liberty and independence, and pining in fickness and despair: That a ray of hope has this morning beamed into their cells, when they were informed by a humane visitor, that one of their race, which human pride debases under the name of brute, has been appointed to act a part in one of your dramas”. Your Petitioners have heard that the dog CARLo obtained “universal applause from a most brilliant and overflowing audience;”—that he discovered moral feeling as well as dramatic skill; for “ he smiled” at his master, and “ did not turn tail upon him for saving a fellow-creature's life:” nay,
* The Caravan, an afterpiece first performed at Drury Lane Theatre, Dec. 5, 1823. they
THE NEW PERFORMER.
the appearance of a new Performer, who cannot, like Shenstone, be grateful that his name is not liable to a pun, there is every reason to expect an inundat of that species of wit threatening to overflow the b
of the newspapers, and carry with it Bonaparté and the Invasion—Windham and the Polunteers—the Dočior and his Income Tar—and every other ol/irućtion or rubbish it may meet with in the way. Already the wits in the Green-room, in the Lobbies, and in the Coffeehouses, are furbishing up their old jokes on dogs and puppies, and the epigrammatists are sharpening their points on this important subjećt. Upon all these considerations, and to prevent counterfeits, I beg leave to send you a specimen of the best puns that have been, or fhall be, or can be made; and by virtue of all the authority I am vested with, I hereby prohibit and forbid all person or persons to make use of any other puns, quirks, or quibbles, for the space of three weeks from the date hereof. 1. Although the players of both houses have lately not had the privilege of giving orders, the new performer has his lones regularly sent to him. 2. The Caravan was originally intended to be a five-aēl piece, but the Managers recommended it to be cur-tailed. 3. Some critics think that there are too many performers engaged in the new Entertainment at Drury Lane. The stage literally overflows with them. 4. It is confidently said, that the Managers of a certain Theatre have made a Grand Junétion with the New River Company. 5. The audiences are now so crowded to see the new performer, that a worthy City Baronet declared it put him in mind of the dog days' 6. We are extremely unwilling to touch upon the private foibles of the theatrical corps, when they do not interfere with their professional engagements; but we are compelled to observe, that on Monday night's performance Mr. Carlo was evidently in liquor 1 7. Mr. Reynolds very properly gave up his Comedy” in compliance with the taste of the town. With respect to his new Farce, he may be permitted to be more dog-matical 1 8. The spectators in the gallery, who love nature, are particularly delighted with the scene of real water. “None of your made stuff!” 9. The dearth of good dramatic writers is a general complaint, yet perhaps the real cause is indolence.— There are few men who might not produce an Entertainment, if they would set doggedly about it! 10. The critics think the new performer's part is too short, and objećt that it is all dumb show. The author, perhaps, “ had not a word to throw to a dog l’’ 11. Since the appearance of the new performer at Drury Lane Theatre, Mr. Fosbrook declares that he is every day worried for places. 12. The public in general are surprised to see such a large piece of real water colle&ted every night; but some shrewdly suspect that Mr. Carlo gives them a lift there too ! 13. The expense of our theatrical amusements, compared with those of the French, has sometimes been remarked by travellers. They must allow, however, that we now are entertained dog-cheap. 14. Players of both sexes have long complained of critics as a snarling race. They may rejoice now that they have got a brother on the stage, who will snarl and lite with any critic. 1 5. Notwithstanding the serious posture of public affairs in this country, our taste for the amusements of the drama increases very rapidly. It has, indeed, become a canine appetite. Fifteen to the dozen is honest measure, Mr. Editor, and I hope will suffice for the present. Should there be a farther demand, I shall be ready to come forward a second time. In the mean while, I congratulate the town on this important acquisition, which must likewife be acceptable to Government itself, as this is the
* “I he Three Per Cents,” performed Nov. 12, and withdrawn after the first night. - lil
only only performer on either stage who is dire&tly taced to the exigencies of the State. I am, Sir, your humble servant, Dog-BERRY.