Page. How to fend him word they'll meet him in the park at midnight fie. fie, he'll never come

Eva You fay, he hath been thrown into the river; and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman; me thinks there fhould be terrors in him, that he huld not come; methinks his flesh is punish'd, he shall have no defires.

Page. So think I too

Mrs. Ford Devife but how you'll ufe him when he

comes;

And let us two devife to bring him thither.

Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herné the hunter,

Sometime a keeper here in Windfor forest,
Doth all the winter-time at still of midnight
Walk round about an oak, with ragged horns;
And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle;
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain
In a moft hideous and dreadful manner.

You've heard of fuch a spirit; and well you know,
The fuperftitious idle-headed Eld

Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age,

This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak; But what of this?

Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device,

That Falstaff at that oak fhall meet with us.
We'll fend him word to meet us in the field,
Difguis'd like Herne, with huge horns on his head.
Pa
age. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come.
And in this fhape when you have brought him thither,
What fhall be done with him? what is your plot?
Mrs. Page. That likewife we have thought upon,

and thus:

Nan Page, (my daughter, and my little fon,

And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress
Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands upon a fudden,
As Falstaff, fhe, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a faw-pit rush at once

With fome diffused fong * upon their fight, t
We two, in great amazednefs, will fly;
Then let them all encircle him about,

And fairy-like too, pinch the unclean Knight;
And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their fo facred paths he dares to tread
In fhape profane

Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth,
Let the fuppofed fairies pinch him round,
And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page. The truth being known,
We'll all present ourfelves; difhorn the fpirit,
And mock him home to Windfor.

Ford The children must

Be practis'd well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.

Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-anapes alfo, to burn the Knight with my taber.

Ford. This will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.

Mrs. Page. My Nan fhall be the Queen of all the fairies;

Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That filk will I go buy, and in that time Shall Mr. Slender fteal my Nan away, [Afide. And marry her at Eaton. Go fend to Falstaff ftraight. Ford Nay, I'll to him again in the name of Brook; he'll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he'll come.

Mrs. Page. Fear not you that; go get us properties and tricking for our fairies.

Eva. Let us about it, it is admirable pleasures, and ferry honeft knaveries. [Ex. Page, Ford, and Evans. Mrs. Page. Go, Mrs Ford,

Send Quickly to Sir John, to know his mind.

[Exit Mrs. Ford.

I'll to the Doctor; he hath my good-will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That slender, though, well landed, is an ideot;
And he my husband best of all affects:

A diffufed fang fignifies a fong that ftrikes out into wild fenti ments beyond the bounds of nature, fuch as those whose subject is fairy land,

The

The Doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court; he, none but he, fhall have her;
Though twenty thousand worthier came to crave her.
[Exi

SCENE VIII. Changes to the Garter-inn. .1
Enter Hot and Simple.

Hoft. What would'ft thou have, boor? what thick fkin? fpeak, breathe, difcufs; brief, fhort, quick, fuap: Simp. Marry, Sir, I come to fpeak with Sir John Falstaff from Mr. Slender.

Hoft. There's his chamber, his houfe, his caftle, his ftanding-bed and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the ftory of the prodigal, fresh and new; go, knock and call he'll fpeak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee knock, I fay.

Simp. There's an old woman, a fat woman gone up into his chamber; I'll be fo bold as ftay, Sir, till the come down: I come to fpeak with her indeed.

Hoft. Ha! a fat woman? the Knight may be robb'd: I'll call. Bully-Knight! Bully-Sir John! fpeak from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine Hoft," thine Ephefian calls.

Falstaff, above..

*Fal. How now, `mine Hoft?

Hoft. Here's a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: let her defcend, bully, let her defcend; my chambers are honourable. Fie, Privacy? fie!

Enter Falstaff.

Fal There was, mine Hoft, an old fat woman even now with me, but he's gone.

Simp. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wife woman of Brainford?

Fal. Ay, marry was it, muffel-fhell, what would you with her?

Simp. My mafter, Sir, my Mater Slender fent to her,

He means to fay, thine Ephestion.

VOL. I.

X

feeing

feeing her go through the ftreet, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain, or no.

Fal. I fpake with the old woman about it.

Simp. And what fays fhe, I pray, Sir?

Fal. Marry, fhe fays, that the very fame man that beguil'd Mafter Slender of his chain, cozen'd him of it. Simp. I would I could have fpoken with the woman herfelf; I had other things to have fpoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Hoft. Ay, come; quick.

Simp. I may not conceal them, Sir.

Fal. Conceal them, or thou dy'ft.

Simp. Why, Sir, they were nothing but about Mi. ftrefs Anne Page; to know if it were my mafter's fortune to have her or no.

Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.

Simp. What, Sir?

Fal. To have her, or no: go; fay the woman told me fo.

Simp. May I be fo bold to fay fo, Sir?

Fal. Ay, Sir;

like who more bold.

Simp. I thank your Worship: I shall make my master glad with thefe tidings. [Exit Simple. Hoft. Thou art clarkly; thou art clarkly, Sir John: was there a wife woman with thee?

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine Hoft; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

SCENE IX. Enter Bardolph.

Bard. Out, alas, Sir, cozenage! mere cozenage! Heft. Where be my horfes? fpeak well of them, varletto.

Bard. Run away with the cozeners; for fo foon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off from behind one of them in a flough of mire, and fet fpurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Fauftus's.

Hoft. They are gone but to meet the Duke; villain; do not fay they are fled; Germans are honest men.

Enter

Eva. Where is mine Hoft?

Hoft. What is the matter, Sir?

Eva. Have a care of your entertainments; there is a friend o' mine come to town, tells me, there is three cozen-jermans that has cozen'd all the Hofts of Reading, of Maidenhead, or Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look you; you are wife, and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and 'tis not convenient you should be cozen'd; fare you well. [Exit. Enter Caius.

Gaius. Ver' is mine Hoft de Jarterre ?

Hoft. Here, Mafter Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma.

:

Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat but it is tell-a-me, dat you make a grand preparation for a Duke de Jamany; but my trot, der is no Duke, dat de court is know, to come: I tell you for good-will; adieu.

[Exit. Hoft. Hue and cry, villain, go! affift me, Knight, I am undone; fly, run, hue and cry! Villain, I am undone !

[Exit.

Fal. I would all the world might be cozen'd, for I have been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been wash'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fithermens boots with me. I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as creft-fallen as a dry'd pear. I never prosper'd fince I forfwore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to lay my prayers, I would repent.

Now, whence come you !

Quic. From the two parties, forfooth.

Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and fo they fhall be both bestow'd.

X 2

I have fuf

fer'd