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bury ordered by overseers to play at marbles from nine in the morning. to seven in the evening. Four of them, being widowers, went through the ring a second time, and were asked in church the Sunday following. Constitutional Society, being indicted at the Old Bailey, held up their hands and down their heads. Miss Foote much admired in Cherry and Fair Star. The Tom and Jerry fever extending to all the minor theatres : nineteen watclimen prostrate with their boxes on their backs. Preparations in Hyde Park for the reception of the Achilles of Phidias, on his elopement from the Quirinal Hill at Rome. Planet Venus at the same time visible to the naked eye. City Recorder elected quamdiu se benè gesserit. New Tread-Mill erected at Brixton prison, and business at Union-hall consequently on the decline : prisoners in Newgate comforted by Mrs. Fry, and business at the Old Bailey consequently on the increase. Literary Fund Committee called upon to interdict Mr. Fitzgerald from spouting at their ensuing anniversary: event doubtful, according to Cobbett, who holds that when a man is smitten with the sound of his own voice, nothing short of a sledge-hammer applied to his head will silence him. Martin, the artist, descended into Herculaneum, and reascended not quite so plump as when he supped with Belshazzar. Young Watson takes to new rum, and commits a burglary at Baltimore. Grand steeple-chase near Blackwater, and a considerable running down of parsons in the columns of the Morning Chronicle. A countryman at Clonmary, county of Donegal, discovered a bottle, and, to his infinite chagrin, in lieu of whisky, found it to contain a mere memorandum relative to the Arctic expedition. Man unknown once more arraigned, and again sported Junius. Mr. Owen of Lanark's proposal to clothe all the poor in one uniform, and no religion. Harlequin at the Opera-house. Moses in Egypt changed into Peter the Hermit: many pilgrims from Paddington attended the Crusade: all's fair in love and music. Simile in the Irishman in London, “ No more brains than a fiddler,” gave great offence to the leader of the band. Monsieur Paull vaulted from the Academy of Music in Paris, and descended on one foot in the Haymarket. Mr. Kean played Osmyn, in the Castle Spectre, and nearly “ made a ghost" of his theatric reputation. Private theatricals at the Lyceum : young Matthews in Le Comédie d'Etampes : dubbed a chip of the old block: an old block, indeed, if he allow the experiment to be repeated. Nobody killed by drawing the trigger of a loaded fowling-piece; not knowing it to be charged.
May.—Horse-Bazaar at King-street Barracks: impossible to say nay to any proffered filly, mocking being rude. Good beer began to trickle into the cellars of public-houses, owing to a stir at St. Stephen’s. Agricultural report: patience and water-gruel recommended to country gentlemen. Song, “I love high Rents," sung by Sir F. Burdett. Piece of plate presented to Alderman Wood : family arms sought for in vain: surrendered on his assumption of the gown ; “ cedunt arma togæ.” The Lord Chancellor gave judginent on the Doge of Venice, who had, in the mean time, wedded the Waters of Oblivion. One hundred acres of land, in Venezuela, sold by Bolivar at a penny an acre: Mr. Birkbeck outbidden. Othello stabbed and smothered his wife to a fiddlestick accompaniment at the Opera-house. Mr. Yates in the Law of Java mistaken for Ramo Samee the Indian
Juggler. Marriage Act Amendment Bill much canvassed : clause proposed by Lord Erskine, contract determinable every seven years on six months' previous notice. Anniversary dinner of the Literary Fund : Chairman's hammer not a sledge one; Mr. Fitzgerald's consequent recitation. Mr. Horatio Orton's dog snatched a hasty repast from the calf of Mr. Ex-sheriff Parkins's leg. No women run over in Oxfordstreet, in consequence of crossing the coachway without looking to the right or to the left.
June.--Expansion of Mr. Baring's new mansion in Piccadilly to the utter extermination of the Western side of Bolton-row. Sparringmatch at St. Stephen's between Mr. Pascoe Grenfell and the Bank of England. Exhibition at Somerset-House : irruption of one shilling critics : many a
man unknown” from being designated in the Catalogue "portrait of a gentleman :" Hercules in the hall looked gloomy, in apparent envy of the more airy elevation of his naked friend in Hyde Park. Affray of wild Irish in Peter-street, Westminster: Polito rebuked by the magistrates for not keeping his cages better bolted. Opening of Vauxhall Gardens, after being for the ninety-ninth time consigned to the woodman's axe: gardens alleged to unite the varieties of Vauxhall with the elegancies of Ranelagh, like the boy's pennyworth of cheese, which he required to have very long and very thick: new rotatory piece of mechanism, entitled Hep-tap-las-ies-op-tron: and a dentist's man in waiting to pick up the broken teeth of the pronouncers. Dinner at the Horns, Kennington ; Sir Robert Wilson in the chair: all general reflections consequently avoided. Wanstead House advertised for sale. All the world on the Whitechapel-road : Epping-forest strewed with gigs, unharnessed hacknies, and remnants of cold veal and pigeon-pie. Sale of the Fortunes of Nigel checked by that of Robins's Catalogue. Little Waddington elevated from a blanket in Newgate, and discounts in Threadneedle-street depressed to 4 per cent. Mrs. Olivia Serres swore an affidavit with a documental appendix in the Prerogative Court, Doctors' Commons. Plague reported to have broken out in London : two runners despatched by the Lord Mayor to St. Thomas's and St. Bartholomew's to ascertain the fact; but, their names being Fogg and Leadbetter, they brought back but a confused and heavy story. Don Antonio Francisco Zea arrived in London from the Republic of Colombia : Spanish bonds at a consequent premium, and the Royal Exchange swarmed with foreign brokers. Seven shopkeepers on Ludgate-hill, who had recently taken advantage of the Insolvent Act, were poisoned by drinking seven glasses of noyeau double the usual strength. End of Trinity Term, attended by a great diminution of black coats and white buckles in the purlieus of Chancerylane. Beautiful hill and dale in the Piccadilly pavement.
July.-Clara Fisher, at the Lyceum, played Crack, a drunken cobbler in the Turnpike Gate: "train up a child in the way it should go." Tread-Mill adopted in Cold Bath Fields prison. Achilles mounted in Hyde Park : several breaches made in the wall, but not one pair made for the statue. Annual regatta of the Funny Club : members rowed in their shirts to the Castle at Richmond in a soaking shower: odd notions of fun. Margate steam-yachts much in request, and Dover coach fares reduced. Death of John Emery the comedian. Haymarket Theatre much frequented : Terry excellent in John Buzzby: "a Day's pleasure" productive of a Night's. Migration over Westminster-bridge: Astley's Amphitheatre courted in the dog-days: humour of the horseclown applauded, and the Antipodean posture-master much admired. Only one man horsewhipped by Barry O'Meara, and he the wrong one.
August.--Appearance of Miss Paton in the Marriage of Figaro : critics for once unanimous. Census of London population : one million souls, exclusive of one female infant sworn by Hannah White to Ex-sheriff Parkins. English players at the Porte St. Martin, in Paris : open with Othello : a wise selection, considering the objection of the French to slaughter on a stage: Moor of Venice damned, and Desdemona hit by a penny piece. The King embarked at Greenwich for Scotland : not a Caledonian visible during his absence, even at the India House ; all being, or affecting to be, at the Levee at Holyrood House. “ Carle now the King's come:" highly interesting to those who understand it. Lord Portsmouth, frightened at the Advent of Majesty, abruptly quitted Edinburgh. Viscount Newry, aided by his five servants, rowed from Oxford to London in eighteen hours: not a scull in the boat. Fonthill Abbey on sale, and Wanstead House no more remembered : Salisbury plain covered by women eager to gain admission : run of the piece stopped by Farquhar's “Stratagem." John Paterson, aged fifty, married at St. Anne's, Soho, to Jane Barclay, aged eighteen : no cause assigned for the rash action.
September.-Return of the King to London: Scots still insufferable ; the swell taking time to abate : plan of erecting a Parthenon on Calton Hill: Auld Reekie to be christened Modern Athens : great demand for fowling-pieces at Mortimer's in Fleet-street: not a cockney, from Savage-gardens to Skinner-street, that did not talk of bagging his three brace. The Lutine Frigate with 200,000l. on board: vessel meant to be weighed by a projector at Lloyd's, but consequences weighed at Amsterdam, and the scheme interdicted. New Marriage Act threatens to annihilate that ceremony. Death of Sir William Herschel, and discovery of a new comet without a tail. Dinner given to Mr. Hume at Aberdeen: nothing on table but Peter's brown loaf: “ Thrift, thrift, Horatio." Statement of a civic dinner given at Norwich in 1516 : amount of bill 11. 188. 1d. : uttterly disbelieved by Sir W. Curtis. A man of fashion seen in London, who made no excuse
being there in September : the crowd was immense. October. -Alterations in the interior of Drury-lane theatre-opening address of G. Colman: abolition of stage doors : great shifting of actors from one house to the other: stars changed to comets. Congress at Verona. London still a desert: but junior merchants and clerks in public offices occasionally seen stealing through the streets. The French ministers presented their compliments to Sir Robert Wilson, and requested the favour of his absence from France. His appeal to his constituents, who will probably order the decree to be rescinded. Turkey and Greece: letter from Paris telling the British public all about it. Columbian bonds at a high premium, and the holders lords of Peru and Potosi. Appearance of “The Liberal” from the south : so called by the godfather of the Serpentine River, who gave it that name because it was 'neither serpentine nor a river. Stoppage of Mr. Bowring at Calais, and his removal to Boulogne:
his eulogy as a Russian anthologist. Death of Mrs. Garrick at Hampton: extract from Lee Lewis, proving her to be daughter to the Earl of Burlington, and, consequently, proprietor of the mansion in Piccadilly bearing that name: stated by one journal to have had but a single maid of all work, and by another to have been possessed of a coachman and footman: scramble among the Dilettanti for little David's original Hogarths. Mermaid exhibited in St. James's-street: said by some to have died of the stitch : and by others to have been produced by Mrs. Salmon in Monkey Island. Alderman Wood seen on the Maidstone road, riding between two packsaddles, laden with samples of hops. Marriage Act still much criticised, notwithstanding which seven bachelors were married in one day, at the parish church of St. Andrew's Holborn. A clergyman attended to give the unhappy wretches the last consolations of religion.
November.—Commencement of Michaelmas Term: attorneys brandishing their pens: plaintiffs and defendants loitering about Oliver's coffee-house. Reported abduction of Lord Byron to South America : death of Mr. Zea : consequent tumble of Columbian bonds down a precipice of twenty-five per cent. Lords, in reversion, of Potosi and Peru left sprawling in the mire, and many dozens of dry champagne advertised for sale considerably under prime cost. Liberation of Orator Hunt: his procession through London, and radical dinner at the Shepherd and Shepherdess. About the same time Mount Vesuvius began to grumble : and in both cases repeated shocks and internal howlings were heard from the mountain." Congress continued sitting at Verona with closed doors and plugged key-holes : much conjecture consequently afloat. The Opera-house end of Pall Mall was much alarmed by an explosion of gas. Signor Zuchelli's elegance was sadly scorched; and Madame Camporese forcibly driven into two of Madame Ronzi di Begni's characters. Signor Ambrogetti's voice has not been heard of since. The British ambassador's letter-bag was tied up, and much epistolary grumbling consequently confined to the gizzards of the English exiles at Paris. Auxiliary Bible-meeting at the Mansion House: a great pouring out of clergymen and old women down the front steps of that edifice, who were mistaken by the multitude for disorderly people of the night preceding. A committee appointed of twenty males and as many females, “with power to add to their num
Lord Portsmouth horsewhipped by his lady, to verify the dictum of Orator Hunt, that all the fair sex are reformers. A million bushels of human bones were landed at Hull from the fields of Dresden and Waterloo : human bones best adapted to fertilize land, whence we derive the word mán-ure. Galignani's Messenger gave an account of a parting dinner given to Anacreon Moore by the English in Paris. His speech on the occasion was not so well-timed as well-spoken : it implied that there was nothing like England after all: a strange observation in the hearing of those who preferred France before all. Extraordinary effect of galvanism upon the body of an attempt made by the Rev. Mr. Colton to latinize Gray's Elegy. Another new tragedy from Lord Byron, entitled Werner: less obnoxious to church-goers than its predecessor, but more so to criticism. A caution to resurrection-men: one Simon Spade, a body-snatcher, while sounding for subjects in St. Martin's church-yard, dug up his own wife. The poor
man has been inconsolable ever since. Miss F. H. Kelly made her first appearance at Covent-garden theatre in the character of Juliet: if this young lady's object was secrecy, never did any arrow so miss its mark; the whole town has been gazing at her ever since. Several fogs were seen gathering round the Serpentine river and the Paddington Canal. The Royal Humane Society's man, consequently, on the watch: notwithstanding which, the average November quantity of men and women put a period to their existence: the former, as usual, for money, the latter for love.
December. -Great demand for post-horses at Verona in consequence of the abrupt dissolution of the Congress.
Lord John Russell's new tragedy, two editions in one week : and an Episcopal visitation sermon too weak for one edition. Bethel Watermen's Reform society, Sheriff Thompson in the chair : drag-net to sweep off all aquatic execrations : "damns have had their day:" Bibles in brigs, and prayer-books in punts. Strange monsters imported by Polito, consisting of an intellectual dandy, a civil radical, and an actor without a grievance : also a blue-stocking breeder, and a tortoise-shell tom-cat : the mob nearly overpowered the constables. Sad sameness of Christmas dinners. "Chine nods at chine, each turkey has a brother :" every table-spoon in the house flaming with burnt brandy. Infallible cures for chilblains. Proposals published for a Sub-way Company, to repair London gas and water-pipes without breaking up the pavement: much patronized by Bond-street fashionables, who were naturally desirous of taking a subterraneous walk toward the city, to borrow money, and by so doing to avoid a rencontre with those with whom they had already undergone that ceremony. Kean and Young in Othello; "The Douglas and the Percy both in arms.” Dance of actors from both theatres : foot it and hey
contrary sides :" Mr. Liston and Miss Stephens still only under-lined. “The cry is still they come.” Diabolical attempt to poison a whole family at breakfast, in Lombard-street, by putting Paine's Age of Reason under the tea-pot: providentially none of the family could read. Growing, civility of sweeps, dustmen, and patrols : plainly denoting that the æra of Christmas-boxes is at hand. Boys arm-in-arm and three a-breast, aping manhood along Fleet-street, with Cossack trowsers and bamboo canes. Grave papas, usually seen about without an accompaniment, were met dragging along children in couples, and occasionally stopping to peep into toy-shop windows. Premature twelfth-cakes stealing behind confectioners' counters : striplings of sixteen walking half ashamed arm-in-arm with maiden aunts from whom the family has expectations. Grimaldi and the new pantomime: front rows filled by urchins, who, at every knock-down-blow, fling back their flaxen polls, in delight, into the laps of their chuckling parents on the seat behind. Magnificent prospectuses from divers new Utopian Magazines. Bellman and lamplighter run up the sides of Parnassus. A great issuing of orders to tailors on the 31st of December, for apparel to be sent home the week following, and this to evade re-appearing in the present year's bill. Awful events, which too plainly denote that that Annus Mirabilis, the year 1822, is hastening to the "Tomb of all the Capulets !"