"And let me slumber in the soil Which gave my fathers birth ; * Now wave, ye stately banners, wave! Now wave, ye banners of many a fight, As the fresh wind o'er you sweeps; -The wind and the banners fall hush'd as night; Sound the battle-horn on the breeze of morn, THE FIRST OF APRIL, 8 A. M.-Looked out of bed-room window into Gracechurch-street, and called "Sweep" to a boy with a soot-bag. Saw him stop, look about him at the corner of White Hart-court, and then walk on. Halted him three times in the same way. Tried a fourth, and popped my head out at the wrong moment. Boy, in a great passion, threw a turnip, which broke me a half-crown pane, and woke my wife. Swore I knew nothing about it, and sneaked down to breakfast. 9 A. M. Went to table-drawer and slily pocketed three little lumps of alabaster. Returned and took my seat at breakfast-table, as if nothing had happened. Put alabaster at top of blue sugar-bason, and, to my great delight, saw Kitty put one into each of the children's cups. Children hammered and pushed and wondered sugar would not melt. Thought I should have died: three of my best silver teaspoons bent as crooked as rams' horns. Very demure when Mrs. Gander came down to breakfast. Never attack wife ;-(harpooners have some reason for not meddling with a certain species of whale, as being too fierce.) So says Guthrie's Grammar. 10 A M.- -Went behind counter to serve. Asked Jack Mitten, my foreman, if any body had blacked his face. Jack answered, "Not to my knowledge," and went to looking glass. I replied, "Nor to mine either." Laughed very much, but Jack did not see much in it. Sam Snaffle, the driver of the Clapham, looked in to know what places were booked. Told him one inside, a lady, to take up at Seam's manufactory this side the Elephant. Saw him set off, one short, and thought I should have died. Took pen, ink, and paper, and wrote a letter as if from Dobbs the druggist to Lawyer Lynx, telling him to arrest Shuffle the shoemaker for 23l. 10s. goods sold and delivered. Gave it to ticket-porter, and told him Lynx would pay the porterage. 11 A. M.-Went back into the shop to serve. Sold a white cotton night-cap to an exciseman, and told him it was the fellow to six * See the Spanish Ballad, "Banderas antiquas, tristes, &c." others which I had parted with to half a dozen other gentlemen who were to set off on a journey from the Old Bailey to-morrow morning at eight o'clock. He did not seem to see much in it, but I laughed amazingly. Saw Jack Mitten serving a lady with a red elastic purse, at the other counter. Took up a newspaper and read loud enough for her to hear," Dreadful depravity! an Irish fruit-woman in Dyot-street, St. Giles's, scraped her child to death with an oyster-shell." Lady screamed and went into hysterics. Gave her a glass of water, and told her "it was a shame that oyster-shells were suffered to lie about the streets." Thought I should never have done laughing. 12.-Sent Molly to Spa-fields to see a live radical. Told her to buy me a straight hook in her way home, at Peter Pull-gill's inCrooked-lane. Told her I should also want a glass ink-horn; and that a male mermaid was expected to swim down Fish-street-hill at two. Wife overheard, and called me an old fool. Did not see much in it, but Mollý laughed. 1 P. м.—Asked Jack Mitten who was the father of the sons of Noah h; where Moses was when the candle was blown out; and which was most, half-a-dozen dozen, or six dozen dozen. The poor fellow could not answer one of them. Took the steps, climbed up slily to the clock, and pushed the hands two hours forwarder. Heard wife, who caught a glance of it, rail at the cook for not putting down the leg of mutton, telling her it only wanted an hour of dinner-time. Clock struck a hundred and one found I had done mischief, and stole away to Elicot to get him to repair it. 2 P. M. Took a turn upon 'Change. Told Rothschild I hoped he liked Columbian bonds. Did not much like his looks, so stole away and entered the rotunda of the Bank. Buzz, the broker, asked me to hold his umbrella, while he went to sell two thousand, at 733. Dropt two handfuls of saw-dust into his umbrella. On his return, walked out with him into Bartholomew-lane. Luckily rained hard: Buzz flirted open his umbrella over his head, and covered himself with saw-dust. This made me laugh till I cried. Buzz threw back a handful of sawdust into my left eye: this made me cry till I laughed. Such a 3 P. M.--Looked in at Batson's. Talked with Bluefist, the broker, about indigo, sassafras, gum, oakum, and elephants' teeth. Called for pen, ink, and paper: wrote a letter from Jolter inviting Scraggs to dine off a fine hare and sweet sauce: ditto, vice versa, Scraggs to Jolter to dine off real turtle. Gave waiter a shilling to take both letters and be sure not to tell. Took a walk over London-bridge to Horsemongerlane sessions. Looked over sessions-paper, and saw indictment, The King against O'Bludgeon, about thirty off. Went into front yard, and bawled out," the King against O'Bludgeon is just called on.' rush of barristers, bar-keepers, and witnesses into court! Two applebarrows upset, and a barrister's wig trampled under foot. Roared out "April fools." Dodged off through Guy's Hospital, and walked homeward chuckling. Halted on London-bridge. Tide running up. Looked through balustrades towards Custom-house: clasped my hands in agony, exclaimed, "They'll every one of them be drowned," and ran across to look through balustrades on opposite side. Mob in a fever all traffic at a stand-still: hundreds of necks craned out to peep at the sufferers. Bawled out "April fools," and dodged round one of Meux's drays. Butcher's boy saw me, and gave the view halloo. Scudded off to Bridge-foot, mob at my heels: ducked into Tower-street: slid up St. Mary's-hill: entered Cannon-street: upset a kit of pickled salmon, and brushed into a hackney-coach, which conveyed me home-hit in two places, and covered with mud. Changed clothes: went out again determined to be more wary. Entered Auction-mart, at corner of Throgmorton-street. Chucked fruitwoman under chin, and went up to auction-room. Saw Gab, the auctioneer, mount pulpit. Took a stand at farther corner of room, and tried my tongue at ventriloquy. Beat Matthews hollow. Bid in seven different voices from various parts of room, and saw Gab knock down seven articles to seven innocent bystanders; viz. a fowling-piece to a fat widow; a pair of stays to a ward deputy; a gig to a waiting-woman; O'Keefe's Works to a Methodist parson; a complete set of John Bull to Alderman Wood; a Greek grammar to a stock-broker; and a Chapel of ease to a servant-maid of all work. : 4 P. M.-Dinner. Asked Jack Mitten to take a glass of sherry, and poked vinegar-cruet into his paw. Made him sputter out liquid, like lion's head at Aldgate pump. Swore it was all his own doing, and for once in a way got believed. Told wife I had been at Batson's; was asked by her what news? Answered the French had taken umbrage. More fools the Spaniards, replied Mrs. Gander, for not fortifying it better. Noise at front door. Sam Snaffle in a fine taking at my hoax in the morning; swore would not quit house till I had paid him for his one inside paid him eighteen pence, and as he threatened to have me "pulled up," gave him another shilling to drink my health. 5 P. M. Polite note from Lawyer Lynx, telling me that hoaxing an attorney was felony at common law, and that he meant to indict me at the ensuing Old Bailey Sessions, unless I paid the costs in Dobbs v. Shuffle, according to inclosed account. Perused bill: "Attending plaintiff by appointment, when he asked me how I did, six and eightpence: attending, answering him, pretty middling, six and eightpence, &c. &c. total five pound eighteen." Damned all pettifoggers, and gave bearer a check for the amount. Muffin-man with bell: bawled out Muffins, and bobbed. Aimed at Perriwinkle with a pea-shooter, and chalked, "Mangling done here," upon Slice the surgeon's windowshutter. Visit from bowing bobbing waiter from the City of London tavern, "Beg pardon, sir, but here's the bill, sir." "What bill?" “Mr. Jolter, sir, and Mr. Scraggs, sir, them as you April-fooled this morning; met and compared notes, sir; knew your hand; went to my master's tavern together, City of London, sir; ordered your own dinner, sir; turtle and roast hare for two, sir, and told me to bring you the bill, sir." Swore I would not pay it looked out of window, and saw Jolter and Scraggs walking up and down by the Wandsworth coach, and flourishing a brace of horsewhips. Set it down for no joke, and told waiter to call to-morrow for his money. : 6 P. M.-Tea and toast. Determined to play the fool no more, not quite approving of the expense. Put on velvet cap and slippers. Made a leg arm-chair for little Nancy. Wife busy reading Doctor Kitchener's cookery; and Lætitia deep in Peveril of the Peak, with her legs up on the sofa. Rat-a-tat at front door, loud enough to wake defunct Sir Thomas Gresham. Rattle and slap of a hackney-coach step. Hearts sunk within us. Rustling of silk gown on the stairs. Little Nancy despatched as a light troop, to watch the enemy's motions; rushed back, exclaiming with an awful face, "Mrs. Deputy Kilderkin." General scramble to hide objectionables: buttered toast, piled up like planks in a deal-yard, chucked into the cupboard; Peveril canted into the coal-scuttle; bowl of brown sugar carefully crammed into table-drawer, and best lump substituted; Lætitia's legs put perpendicular, and wife's vinegar visage varnished with a proper coating of sweet oil to greet visitor. Parlour-door opened: enter Mrs. Deputy Kilderkin. 7 p. m.—Bows and smiles. Coffee and hard rusks. Found we had been hoaxed. Card in wife's name inviting Mrs. Kilderkin, apologizing for short notice, but mentioning that Mr. Bochsa and his thirteen harps could not be had on any other evening. Suspected Alderman Arrowroot, and vowed to be even with him this day twelvemonth. Listened to a deal of high life from Mrs. Kilderkin and daughter Lætitia. Comparative merits of Miss Taylor of the Circus and Miss Brunton of the West London: glass curtain at the Cobourg: Mr. and Mrs. Fitzwilliam monthly assembly at the Horns, Kennington: the new turnpike in the Borough road, and what a different thing Trinity Square was from old Tower Hill. Nodded assent with my eyes shut: wife kicked my shins to keep me awake. 8 P. M.-Music. Mrs. Kilderkin and Lætitia went through the orthodox routine. Mrs. Kilderkin swore she had no voice, and Lætitia only wished she had half as good a one. Lætitia vowed she could not finger a note; and Mrs. Kilderkin said, if she could only play a quarter as well, she should think herself a finished performer. liminaries thus adjusted, both sat down together and thumped overture to Lodoiska, till the poor piano trembled on its legs. Pre 9 P. M.-Whist. Wife and I against Lætitia and deputy's lady. Head running upon take-in of tavern-bill: missed deal with queen of diamonds at bottom: wife kicked my left shin. Second deal at my old tricks asked Mrs. Kilderkin if she had heard the news? Answered, No: what news? Told her that Ferdinand had dissolved the Cortes in hot water. Played a spade, and thought it was a trump: another kick from wife. Licked my thumb to deal better, and got a third kick. 10 P. M.-Whist again: seats changed to change luck. Long dispute between Mrs. Kilderkin and Mrs. Gander, the one asserting that Lord Byron should never marry a daughter of hers, and the other that he should. Head bothered by Beppo, Mazeppo, and Aleppo. Trumped my partner's lead. Fourth kick from wife, luckily intercepted by Mrs. Kilderkin's off-ankle. Wife begged pardon. Another rat-tat-tat, and another rattle and slap from hackney-coach step, announced the arrival of Mrs. Deputy's equipage: bows and curtesies: shawls, simpers, and ceremonious exit, Mrs. Kilderkin vowing, with a yawn, that she had never passed a pleasanter evening. 11. P. M.-Bed candles. One made by me, consisting of a round pole of cut turnip, tipped with charcoal, unluckily selected by my wife. Much poking with snuffers before trick detected. Glance of vengeance; exit wife upstairs, husband following. 12. P M.-Listened to curtain lecture fifty-nine minutes, and then fell asleep. SPRING, YOUTH, AND LOVE. SPRING re-appears :--I remember, when I was young-and who ever forgets that time? I remember how I used to enjoy a spring day, its redolence, its vivency, its thrilling sensations of pleasure. what but the reminiscences of the season, as respects its peculiar perceptions, remain at present! It returns now with very different impressions from what it then had :—it is delightful, but it no longer excites rapture-it is lovely to the eye as ever, but it no longer makes the heart leap, and every fibre vibrate with joy, as it did then. Ye retrospects of the happiest moments of existence, of life free from anxiety, gaiety that thought not of the morrow, and love without alloy, pure as that of angels-where are ye now? I remember my youthy spring seasons well, and how I enjoyed them, as if they were a feast of yesterday. It is true I have but shadows of them remaining in the place of realities, but those very shadows are a sumless treasure to me. What cherished recollections of long buried events-buried to all the living world, save myself; unimportant, perhaps, to the living world; but of infinite concernment to me-come up in bodiless array before my sight, recalled by a vernal sensation a little allied to those of former years! What revivals of buried joy come across me in a green field or wood in the month of May, touching the chords of the past, and awakening the long slumbering sensations of days never to return! Mournfully pleasant, they lead the way over fragments of mouldered friendships; wrecks of love, that crushed the heart in their fall; and ashes of the dead, that when animated were parts of ourselves. Now, clear skies never seem of such unsullied azure as they did then, nor nature's tints so beautiful-thus appearing, perhaps, to wean us, as we grow older, from the best things of life, the glories of creation, ever productive of some exquisite pleasure even now, besides those arising from ancient associations. Of these, every man has his treasury; the species of wealth stored in which may differ with the individual, though the mode of applying it may be the same in all. It comes forth to sustain us in age, and to nourish the soul when the body is incapable of collecting more-it is an annuity laid up for the last years of life. Spring! only season known in heaven, purveyor of earth's richest festival, compass of hope, fosterer of nature's love, awakener of harmony, ushered in with perfumes and flowers-elysian Spring, would thou wert eternal! May I always have sight to gaze upon thee, and feelings never sufficiently dulled by age to be altogether insensible to thy influences! About a mile and half from the country-town where I dwelt when a boy, there was a small eminence crowned with a wood. This wood was the scene of many of my most delightful hours, from the age of fourteen to twenty. What I may relate of one so young, if it appear singular, is nevertheless true. Let the reader, then, excuse my dwelling on self, in the consideration of the veracity of what I may say, and the amusement he may derive from a brief summary of a few youthful sensations. The impressions of his younger days that may, perchance, most gratify him now, might not have taken their source in retirement, love, or fondness for nature. "The untaught harmony of spring" might have been discord to his ear. He might have dwelt all his days in cities, and his youth might have been passed in shops and |