in a trunk or chest, leave a piece out, that when you open the trunk again, you may know where to find it.

CHAPTER X.

DIRECTIONS TO THE HOUSE-MAID.

IF your master and lady go into the country for a week or more, never wash the bed-chamber or dining-room until just the hour before you expect them to return; thus the rooms will be perfectly clean to receive them, and you will not be at the trouble to wash them so soon again.

Now,

I am very much offended with those ladies who are so proud and lazy that they will not be at the pains of stepping into the garden to pluck a rose, but keep an odious implement, sometimes in the bed-chamber itself, or at least in a dark closet adjoining, which they make use of to ease their worst necessities; and you are the usual carriers away of the pan, which makes not only the chamber, but even their clothes, offensive to all who come near. to cure them of this odious practice, let me advise you, on whom the office lies, to convey away this utensil, that you will do it openly down the great stairs, and in the presence of the footman; and if anybody knocks, to open the street-door while you have the vessel filled in your hands; this, if anything can, will make your lady take the pains of evacuating her person in the proper place, rather than expose her filthiness to all the men-servants in the house.

Leave a pail of dirty water, with a mop in it, a

coal-box, a bottle, a broom, a chamber-pot, and such other unsightly things, either in a blind entry, or upon the darkest part of the back-stairs, that they may not be seen; and if people break their shins by trampling on them, it is their own fault.

Never empty the chamber-pots until they are quite full; if that happens in the night, empty them into the street; if in the morning, into the garden; for it would be an endless work to go a dozen times from garret and upper rooms down to the backside; but never wash them in any other liquor except their own: what cleanly girl would be dabbling in other folk's urine? and besides, the smell of stale, as I observed before, is admirable against the vapours, which, a hundred to one, may be your lady's case.

Brush down the cobwebs with a broom that is wet and dirty, which will make them stick the faster to it, and bring them down more effectually.

When you rid up the parlour hearth in a morning, throw the last night's ashes into a sieve; and what falls through, as you carry it down, will serve instead of sand for the rooms and the stairs.

When you have scoured the brasses and irons in the parlour chimney, lay the foul wet clout upon the next chair, that your lady may see you have not neglected your work: observe the same rule when you clean the brass locks, only with this addition, to leave the marks of your fingers on the doors, to shew you have not forgot.

Leave your lady's chamber-pot in her bed-chamber window all day to air.

Bring up none but large coals to the dining-room and your lady's chamber; they make the best fires, and if you find them too big, it is easy to break them on the marble hearth.

When you go to bed, be sure take care of fire; and therefore blow the candle out with your breath,

and then thrust it under your bed. Note, the smell of the snuff is very good against vapours.

Persuade the footman who got you with child, to marry you before you are six months gone; and if your lady asks you why you would take a fellow who was not worth a groat? let your answer be, That service is no inheritance.

When your lady's bed is made, put the chamberpot under it, but in such a manner as to thrust the valance along with it, that it may be full in sight, and ready for your lady when she has occasion to use it.

Lock up a cat or a dog in some room or closet, so as to make such a noise all over the house as may frighten away the thieves, if any should attempt to break or steal in.

When you wash any of the rooms toward the street over night, throw the foul water out of the street-door; but be sure not to look before you, for fear those on whom the water light might think you uncivil, and that you did it on purpose. If he who suffers breaks the windows in revenge, and your lady chides you, and gives positive orders that you should carry the pail down, and empty it into the sink, you have an easy remedy; when you wash an upper room, carry down the pail so as to let the water dribble on the stairs all the way down to the kitchen, by which not only your load will be lighter, but you will convince your lady that it is better to throw the water out of the windows, or down the street-door steps; besides, this latter practice will be very diverting to you and the family in a frosty night, to see a hundred people on their noses or backsides before your door, when the water is frozen.

Polish and brighten the marble hearths and chimney-pieces with a clout dipped in grease; no

thing makes them shine so well; and it is the business of the ladies to take care of their petticoats.

If your lady be so nice that she will have the room scoured with freestone, be sure to leave the marks of the freestone six inches deep round the bottom of the wainscot, that your lady may see your obedience to her orders.

CHAPTER XI.

DIRECTIONS TO THE DAIRYMAID.

FATIGUE of making butter: put scalding water in your churn, although in summer, and churn close to the kitchen fire, and with cream of a week old. Keep cream for your sweetheart.

CHAPTER XII.

DIRECTIONS TO THE CHILDREN'S MAID.

If a child be sick, give it whatever it wants to eat or drink, although particularly forbid by the doctor; for what we long for in sickness will do us good; and throw the physic out of the window: the child will love you the better; but bid it not tell. Do the same for your lady when she longs for anything in sickness, and engage it will do her good.

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If your mistress comes to the nursery, and offers to whip a child, snatch it out of her hands in a rage, and tell her she is the cruellest mother you ever saw : she will chide, but love you the better. Tell the children stories of spirits, when they offer to cry, &c. Be sure to wean the children, &c.

CHAPTER XIII.

DIRECTIONS TO THE NURSE.

IF you happen to let the child fall, and lame it, be sure never to confess it; and if it dies, all is safe. Contrive to be with child as soon as you can, while you are giving suck, that you may be ready for another service when the child you nurse dies, or is weaned.

CHAPTER XIV.

DIRECTIONS TO THE LAUNDRESS.

If you singe the linen with the iron, rub the place with flour, chalk, or white powder; and if nothing will do, wash it so long till it be either not to be seen or torn to rags.

About tearing linen in washing:
When your

linen is pinned on the line, or on a