brood goose, and she and two of her gossips had eaten up the buzzard; and the old goose was laid to the fire for the gentlemen's servants. So when they came, and the goose was set before 'em; What is this, said one of them? The good man said, A curious buzzard. A buzzard, said they! Why it is an old goose, and thou art a knave to mock us; and in great anger they departed home. The fellow was very sorry that he had affronted the gentlemen's servants, and took a bag, and put in the buzzard's feathers, and then he intended to go to them, and shew them the buzzard's feathers, and so please them. But the wife prayed him e'er he went, to fetch her in a block of wood for the fire, and in the interim she pulled out the buzzard's feathers, and put in the goose's feathers. Then the man taking the bag went to the gentlemen's servants, and said, Pray be not angry with me, for you shall see that I had a buzzard, for here be the feathers; then he opened his bag and shook out all the goose's feathers. The gentlemen's servants seeing the goose's feathers, said, Why, thou knave, could'st thou not be contented to mock us at thine own house, but art come here to mock us? Then one took a waster in his hand, and gave him a dozen stripes, saying at every blow, Here sirrah, take this for a reward, and hereafter mock us no more.

FIFTEENTH TÁLE.

There was a young man of Gotham, who went a wooing to a fair maid; his mother warned him before hand, saying, Whenever thou dost look at her, cast a sheep's eye at her, and say to her, How dost thou do, my sweet pig's-nic! The fellow went to the butchers, and bought him seven or eight sheep's eyes. And when this lusty wooer was at dinner, he would

look upon this fair wench, and immediately cast in her face a sheep's eye, saying, How dost thou do, my dear sweet pig's-nic? How do I do ! said the wench, swine's face? What dost thou mean by casting a sheep's eye at me? Oh! sweet pig's-nic, have at thee here another. But I defy thee, old swine's face, said the wench. What my old sweet pig's-nic, be content, for if thou livest till the next year, thou wilt be a foul sow. Walk knave, walk, said she, for if thou livest until the next year, thou wilt be a rank knave, besides a lubber and a fool. Whereby a man may see, that for his goodwill he shall often have as much displeasure.

SIXTEENTH TALE.

Be

The

A man's wife of Gotham was brought to bed of a male child, and the father bid the gossips, which were children of eight or ten years of age. The eldest child's name who was to be god-father, was called Gilbert, the second child's name was Humphrey, and the god-mother's name was Christibel. The friends of all them did admonish them, saying, that divers of times they must say after the Priest. When they all were come to the church door, the priest said, Be you all agreed of the name? you all, said Gilbert, agreed of the name? priest then said, Wherefore do you come hither? Gilbert said, Wherefore do you come hither? Humphrey said, Wherefore do you come hither? and Christibel said, Wherefore do you come hither? The priest being amazed, he could not tell what to say, but whistled and said whew. Gilbert whistled and said whew; Humphrey whistled and said whew, and so did Christibel. The priest being angry, said, Go home, fools, go home. Then said Gilbert, and Humphrey, and Christibel, the same.

The priest then himself provided for god-fathers and god-mothers. Here a man may see, that children can do nothing without good instruction, and that they are not wise who regard them.

SEVENTEENTH TALE.

There was a man of Gotham, who would be married, and when the day of marriage was come, they went to church. The Priest said, Do you say after me. The man said, Do you say after me. The Priest said, Say not after me such words, but say what I shall tell thee. Thou dost play the fool to mock with the holy Scripture concerning matrimony. Then the fellow said, Thou dost play the fool to mock with the holy Scripture concerning matrimony. The Priest could not tell what to say, but answered, What shall I do with this fool? and the man answered the same. So the Priest took his leave and would not marry him. But the fellow was instructed by others how to do, and was afterwards married.

EIGHTEENTH TALE.

There was a Scotchman, who dwelt at Gotham, and he took a house a little distance from London, and of it he would make an inn, and for his sign he would have the Boar's head, so he went to get one made. So when he came to the carver he said in his own tongue, Can'st thou make me a Bare-head? Yes, said the carver. Then, said he, make me a Bare-head, and thou have twenty-pence for thy hire. I will do it, said the carver. So on St. Andrew's day, before Christmas, the which is called Youl in Scotland, the Scotchman came to London, for the Boar's head to

set up at his door. I say, said the Scotchman, hast thou made me a Bare-head? Yes, said the carver. Aye, then, thouse a good fellow. He then went and brought a man's head of wood, that was bare, and said, Sir, here is your Bare-head. Aye, said the Scot, the mickle de'il, is this a Bare-head! Yes, said the carver. I will have a Bare-head, like a head that does follow the sow that has gryces. Sir, said the carver, I don't know a sow and gryces. What, horson, know not a sow that will grit and groan, and her gryces will run after and cry, a-week, a-week. O said the carver, it is a pig. Yea, said the Scotchman, let me have her head made in timber; and make me a bird, and set on her scalp, and let her sing, whip, wire. The carver said he could not. You horson, said he, gang her as should sing, whip, wire. This shows that all men delight in their fancy.

NINETEENTH TALE.

In old times, during the said jests, the wives of Gotham were all got into an ale-house, and said they were all profitable to their husbands. Why which way, good gossips. The first said, I will tell you all, for I can neither brew nor bake, wherefore I make every day alike; and go to the ale-house, because I cannot go to church. And in the ale-house I pray to God to speed my husband, and I am sure my prayers will do him more good than my labour. Then said the

second, I am profitable to my husband in saving of candle in winter; for I cause my husband and all my people, to go to bed by day-light, and rise by day-light. The third said, I am profitable in sparing bread, for drinking a gallon of ale, I care not for much meat. The fourth said, I am loath for to spend meat and drink at home, so I go to a tavern at

Nottingham, and take wine, snd such other good things as God sends me there. The fifth said, A man will for ever have more company in another's house than his own, and most commonly in an ale-house is the best cellar in the town and so to spare meat and drink I go to an ale-house. The sixth said, My husband has flax and wood enough to spare, if I go to other folk's house to do their work. The seventh said, I spare both my wood and coal, and sit talking all the day at other folk's fires. The eighth said, Beef, mutton and pork is dear, wherefore I take pigs, hens, chickens, coneys, and capons, which be of a lower price. The ninth said, And I spare my husband's soap and lye; for whereas I should wash once a week, I wash but once a quarter. Then said the ale-wife, And I keep my husband's ale, that I brew, from souring; for as I was wont to drink it almost up, now I do leave never a drop.

TWENTIETH TALE.

On Ash Wednesday the minister of Gotham would have a collection of his parishioners, and said unto them, Friends, the time is come that you must use prayer and fasting, and alms, and come ye to shrift and I will tell you more of my mind. But as for prayer, I don't think two men in the parish can say half their Pater-noster. As for your fasting, you fast still, for you have not a good meal's meat in a year. As for alms-deeds, what should they do to give any thing away that have nothing to take? But as you come to shrift, I will tell you more of my mind after mass. So the man that kept the alehouse came to shrift, and confessed himself to have been drunk divers times in the year, but especially in Lent. The priest said, In Lent you should refrain from drunkenness, and abstain from drink. No,