that they may not be seen; and if people break their shins by trampling on them, it is their own fault.

Never empty the chamber-pots until they are quite full; if that happens in the night, empty them into the street; if in the morning, into the garden; for it would be an endless work to go a dozen times from the garret and upper rooms down to the backside; but never wash them in any other liquor except their own: what cleanly girl would be dabbling in other folk's urine? and besides, the smell of stale, as I observed before, is admirable against the vapours, which, a hundred to one, may be your lady's case.

Brush down the cobwebs with a broom that is wet and dirty, which will make them stick the faster to it, and bring them down more effectually.

When you rid up the parlour hearth in a morning, throw the last night's ashes into a sieve; and what falls through, as you carry it down, will serve instead of sand for the rooms and the stairs.

When you have scoured the brasses and irons in the parlour chimney, lay the foul wet clout upon the next chair, that your lady may see you have not neglected your work: observe the same rule when you clean the brass locks, only with this addition, to leave the marks of your fingers on the doors, to show you have not forgot.

Leave your lady's chamber-pot in her bedchamber window all day to air.

Bring up none but large coals to the diningroom and your lady's chamber; they make the best fires, and if you find them too big, it is easy to break them on the marble hearth.

When you go to bed, be sure take care of fire; and therefore blow the candle out with your

breath, and then thrust it under your bed. Note, the smell of the snuff is very good against va

pours.

Persuade the footman who got you with child, to marry you before you are six months gone; and if your lady asks you why you would take a fellow who was not worth a groat? let your answer be, That service is no inheritance.

When your lady's bed is made, put the cham ber-pot under it, but in such a manner as to thrust the valance along with it, that it may be full in sight, and ready for your lady when she has occasion to use it.

Lock up a cat or a dog in some room or closet, so as to make such a noise all over the house as may frighten away the thieves, if any should attempt to break or steal in.

When you wash any of the rooms toward the street over night, throw the foul water out of the street-door; but be sure not to look before you, for fear those on whom the water lights might think you uncivil, and that you did it on purpose. If he who suffers breaks the windows in revenge, and your lady chides you, and gives positive orders that you should carry the pail down, and empty it in the sink, you have an easy remedy: when you wash an upper room, carry down the pail so as to let the water dribble on the stairs all the way down to the kitchen, by which not only your load will be lighter, but you will convince your lady that it is better to throw the water out of the windows, or down the street-door steps; besides, this latter practice will be very diverting to you and the family in a frosty night, to see a hundred people on their noses or backsides before your door, when the water is frozen.

Polish and brighten the marble hearths and

chimney pieces with a clout dipt in grease; nothing makes them shine so well; and it is the business of the ladies to take care of their petticoats.

If your lady be so nice that she will have the room scoured with freestone, be sure to leave the marks of the freestone six inches deep round the bottom of the wainscot, that your lady may see your obedience to her orders.

CHAP. XI.

Directions to the Dairy-maid.

FATIGUE of making butter: put scalding water in your churn, although in summer, and churn close to the kitchen fire, and with cream of a week old. Keep cream for your sweetheart.

IF

CHAP. XII.

Directions to the Children's Maid.

F a child be sick, give it whatever it wants to eat or drink, although particularly forbid by the doctor; for what we long for in sickness will do

us good; and throw the physic out of the window the child will love you the better; but bid it not tell. Do the same for your lady when she longs for any thing in sickness, and engage it will do her good.

If your mistress comes to the nursery, and offers to whip a child, snatch it out of her hands in rage, and tell her she is the cruellest mother you ever saw she will chide, but love you the better. Tell the children stories of spirits, when they offer to cry, &c.

Be sure to wean the children, &c.

IF

CHAP. XIII.

Directions to the Nurse.

you happen to let the child fall, and lame it, be sure never to confess it; and if it dies, all is safe.

Contrive to be with child as soon as you can, while you are giving suck, that you may you may be ready for another service when the child you nurse dies, or is weaned.

CHAP. XIV.

Directions to the Laundress.

IF you singe the linen with the iron, rub the place with flour, chalk, or white powder; and if nothing will do, wash it so long till it be either not to be seen, or torn to rags.

About tearing linen in washing:

When your linen is pinned on the line, or on a hedge, and it rains, whip it off, although you tear it, &c. But the place for hanging them is on young fruit trees, especially in blossom; the linen cannot be torn, and the trees give them a fine smell.

CHAP. XV.

Directions to the House-keeper.

You must always have a favourite footman whom you can depend upon; and order him to be very watchful when the second course is taken off, that it be brought safely to your office, that you and the steward may have a tit-bit together.