faction. And here I record it to the praise of our adorable Master, that the happiness which I feel this morning in contemplating the affairs of his kingdom, is far superior to any which the world has afforded during my journey. I most deeply realize how much religion is superior to worldly good, how much better God is as a Master than the world.

Wednesday, Oct. 4th. In consequence of reading the prayers of Miss Anthony, and discovering her intense desire to obtain more clear and transforming views of God, I have been led to reflect on the great difference between her prayers and mine. I have been, for the most part, asking for particular exercises of divine power, to produce effects in regard to me, my friends, my people, and Zion at large. And in prayer my mind has been more on the desired effects, than on that fulness and glorious sufficiency of wisdom, power, goodness, majesty, condescension, patience, faithfulness and truth, which there is in God. Thus I have stopped at the threshold, without getting into the temple. Had I in prayer been more intent to gaze into God, and had I exercised myself more in adoration and praise, I believe my acquaintance with God would have been vastly greater, and my mind more transformed into his likeness. Let it in future be the burden of my prayer, "Lord, show me thy glory."

Sabbath morning, Oct. 8th. Expect to preach both parts of the day from Exodus xxxiii. 18. May I, under the influence of a delight in the essential glory of God, long, through the day, to bring it out to view, in order to exalt God in the esteem of men, to show them what ground of everlasting joy there is, to prepare them to enjoy the good which is within their reach, and to prepare them, by proper exercises towards God, to compose a part of a duly proportioned, well adjusted, harmonious, happy universe.

Sabbath, Dec. 17th. EXAMINATION. I have a solicitous fear that I shall be left of God to fall into sin. This is my most distressing apprehension. I fear sin more than any other evil. But why? Is it for fear of public shame? Is it for fear of final punishment? Is it for fear of those dreadful stings of

conscience which devils possess and dread? I think the reason is, that sin is wrong, and is what my nature, in sober frames, abhors. Good men may have stings of conscience. And if the heart hates what the conscience disapproves, it is a proof of religion. Well, if I know what it is to hate, I think I do detest those sins which most easily beset me. I think I hate to break sac ed obligations and act an unworthy, wicked part. I think I hate to oppose that law and divine benevolence which seeks the diffusion of happiness. And if any good was offered me to be enjoyed in this world, I think I should choose exemption from sin and the free enjoyment of God before any other. O that I might keep my ordination vows and adorn my profession by holy examples!

Dec. 18th. Some years ago in a distant town I gave a poor disciple a coat. Last night he came, wearing the coat, and brought a boy to live with me, which I exceedingly wanted. Had it not been for the coat he would not have brought him. I was affected, and was reminded of the Scripture, "Cast thy bread upon the waters, for thou shalt find it after many days." May I never forget that it is profitable to lend to the Lord.

During the course of twenty-four hours the Lord has bestowed upon me four peculiar and distinguishing favors, and three of a less kind which are still worthy of more than common notice. Three of the four I had, I hope, trusted God for. The other was an unexpected and surprising favor. Is it not good to serve and trust the Lord? Indeed, he is a good Master. May I never forget the lesson which these dispensations have taught me.

Sabbath night, Dec. 24th. Have had a pleasant afternoon, though attended with some wanderings. Preached on the design and duty of prayer in consistency with the immutability of God. In the first prayer, had a train of reflections which left an impression on my mind of the folly of making calculations for happiness on worldly circumstances, and of indulging painful feelings on account of situation, &c. It appeared that all happiness must be derived from God, and that if I am bound down to the necessity of being happy in God, or being

wretched, I ought to consider it a great mercy. For, being in such a necessity, I have less temptation to forsake God for other objects. And I have learned that I cannot endure such temptations. If this situation be less calculated to wean me from the world, to afford me an opportunity to overcome my pride and other corruptions, to prepare for a life of usefulness and for a world of happiness, here let me live, and here let me die, and thank God for having put me in circumstances so favorable to my eternal well being.

EXAMINATION. Why is it that I feel calm and happy tonight? I think the following reasons conduce to this. (1.) A sense of the kindness and mercy of the Lord. (2.) More hope of his favor. (3.) More expectation and hope that as God has not cast me off forever, he will assist me in overcoming my corruptions and enable me to lead a holy, happy life. That God should own and bless and undertake to carry me through my warfare, seems the most desirable thing that could happen to me. I long to be delivered from pride, anger and vanity. The mercies of God seem affecting and pleaThat he is on the mercy seat to hear when sinners pray, seems an inexpressible favor and happiness. The prophetic office of Christ, and the knowledge which he communicates, appear precious. It seems desirable that he who redeemed the Church should have the office of administering salvation to it. And the excellencies of Christ, his tenderness, love, faithfulness, and amiableness, seem to add a relish to the salvation which he imparts. Salvation tastes the sweeter for coming from him.

sant.

Sabbath morning, March 4th. This forenoon expect to explain the true character of Israel's God. I wish to do it with a sincere desire to lead the people to a true knowledge of themselves and of God. And I wish to be affected myself with a sense of the beauty of the divine perfections. In the afternoon expect to administer a pointed reproof for some growing evils in the place. May I speak with humility, with tenderness, and with effect.

Noon. I have attended to my mind, and think I can say

that the reproof which I have prepared to administer this afternoon, has not proceeded from any other principle, (chiefly,) than a wish to do good. I wish to administer it with humble firmness, and leave the event with God. If it gives offence, I think I can appeal to my conscience that I meant well. God give abundant effect to the reproof, and prevent any from taking offence.

Night. If ever I spoke with humble firmness, with a desire to do good, without the fear of man, and with tenderness, I have done so this afternoon; though the reproof was the most pointed of any which I ever administered. Upon a view of the whole, I think that I have (with as much right feeling as I ever attain to,) done my duty, both in writing and delivering this sermon. And if offence is taken and disturbances are excited, I trust I shall not be accountable for them. With God I leave the event; beseeching him to carry the truth to the consciences of all, and cause it to produce permanent and general good. Felt serious and happy in all the public exercises of the day.

Sabbath evening, March 11th. I did not greatly feel my sermons to-day; yet I had some freedom and ardor in prayer especially in the first prayer this afternoon. Col. Gardiner's zeal, whose life I am now reading, shows me my own deadness and barrenness. O that I might follow him, and other saints, and the Son of God, with less unequal steps. O for a fresh anointing from God, that would make me more, much more of a living man.

I have this day been showing that Christ and his disciples. are one in affection. And is it the case with me that I in very deed love the Redeemer? I think I am pleased to think that Christ came into the world to support the principle of supreme love to God, tenderness towards the poor, forgiveness of enemies, mutual affection and kindness between relatives, and general benevolence to mankind and all beings. He did this in taking measures that the law should not be set aside while sinners were saved. He sanctified by his death every just and excellent principle; and he appears excellent in this view. I Vol. I.

hope I feel in some degree unworthy of any favor from God, and feel it to be inconsistent with inflexible purity, (which must always be armed against sin,) to overlook my sins and bestow on me any favor but out of respect to the atonement and perfect righteousness of Christ. Though my duties, so far as they are good, are worthy of divine approbation, yet my character, viewing it at large, is unworthy of God's acceptance. My best duties cannot make amends for my sins. And therefore I consent to have my own righteousness disclaimed as filthy rags, and to have nothing which I have done the ground of any favor from God. In this view I think I approve of Christ as my atonement, righteousness, and Advocate. I think I approve of him as my Prophet, to instruct me in the grand and excellent things of God; as my Lawgiver and Protector, as the Disposer of my life, as my Physician and Shepherd, as my Captain to fight my battles and deliver me from the world, the flesh, and the devil, as the Head of influence, as my Strength and Comforter, as a hiding place from the wind, &c.; as one appointed to preach good tidings to the meek, to bind up the broken-hearted, to deliver the captives, and to give joy to such as mourn in Zion; as the Lamb of God which taketh away the sins of the world, and as my all in all. Such a Saviour I hope, I cordially love, and cast myself upon him as my Saviour from sin and death.

January 7th, 1799. Yesterday I was twenty-nine years old; and this day I set apart, (though my senses seem to be locked up by a cold,) to commemorate my birth day and the commencement of a new year. The Lord has once more visited this town. The sermon which I delivered in the afternoon of November 4th, I believe had more effect, through God's blessing, than any sermon I ever delivered in my life, especially on elderly people, who lay most on my mind. Last night I conversed with two men for whom I had felt very special interest. They both appear to be lately born again. My soul was overjoyed. It seemed almost enough; and I was well nigh ready to say, "Now lettest thou thy servant depart," &c. Glory be to God that he has thus so soon and so wonderfully