and the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian now here, and hath drawn him and the rest of creatures as I would desires. their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion. But I am glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.

Mrs. Page. Prithee, hold thy peace.

76

Eva. Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Will. Forsooth, I have forgot.

Eva. It is qui, quæ, quod; if you forget your quis, your quæs, and your quods, you must be preeches. Go your ways and play; go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

84 Eva. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.

Mrs. Page. Adieu, good Sir Hugh. [Exit SIR HUGH.] Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long. [Exeunt.

SCENE II.-A Room in FORD's House.

Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS FORD. Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your love, and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not only, Mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all the accoutrement, com plement and ceremony of it. But are you sure of your husband now?

Mrs. Ford. He's a-birding, sweet Sir John. 8 Mrs. Page. [Within.] What ho! gossip Ford! what ho!

Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, Sir John. [Exit FALSTAFF.

Enter MISTRESS PAGE.

Mrs. Ford. How near is he, Mistress Page? 40 Mrs. Page. Hard by; at street end; he will be here anon.

Mrs. Ford. I am undone! the knight is here. Mrs. Page. Why then you are utterly shamed, and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you! Away with him, away with him! better shame than murder.

47

Mrs. Page. Alas! three of Master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here? 54 Fal. What shall I do? I'll creep up into the chimney.

Mrs. Ford. There they always use to dis charge their birding-pieces.

Mrs. Page. Creep into the kiln-hole.
Fal. Where is it?

60

Mrs. Ford. He will seek there, on my word Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault but he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his note: ther

Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart! who's at is no hiding you in the house. home besides yourself?

13

Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own people.
Mrs. Page. Indeed!

Mrs. Ford. No, certainly.-[Aside to her.]
Speak louder.

17

Fal. I'll go out, then.

6

Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own sem blance, you die, Sir John. Unless you go ou disguised,

Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him? 7 Mrs. Page. Alas the day! I know not. Ther is no woman's gown big enough for him; other wise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and kerchief, and so escape.

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any ex
tremity rather than a mischief.
Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman
Brainford, has a gown above.

8

Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him she's as big as he is: and there's her thrumme hat and her muffler too. Run up, Sir John.

Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistre Page and I will look some linen for your head Mrs. Page. Quick, quick! we'll come dre you straight; put on the gown the while. [Exit FALSTAF Mrs. Ford. I would my husband would me

Re-enter MISTRESS FORD.

him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brainford; he swears she's a witch; forbade Come hither, Mistress Ford, the honest woman, her my house, and hath threatened to beat her. the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy hus- the jealous fool to her husband! I suspect withband's cudgel, and the devil guide his cudgel out cause, mistress, do I?

afterwards!

94

Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming? Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks of intelligence.

Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time. Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him like the witch of Brainford. shall do with the basket. Go up; I'll bring Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men what they linen for him straight.

cannot misuse him enough.

[Exit.

108

144

Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do, if
you suspect me in any dishonesty.
Ford. Well said, brazen-face! hold it out.
Come forth, sirrah!

[Pulls the clothes out of the basket. Page. This passes!

Mrs. Ford. Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone.

Ford. I shall find you anon.

149

152

Eva. 'Tis unreasonable. Will you take up
your wife's clothes? Come away.
Ford. Empty the basket, I say!
Mrs. Ford. Why, man, why?

Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we
We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, day in this basket: why may not he be there
again? In my house I am sure he is; my in-
telligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable.
Pluck me out all the linen.

Ford. Master Page, as I am an honest man, there was one conveyed out of my house yester

Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:

We do not act that often jest and laugh;

Tis old,

Re-enter MISTRESS FORD, with two

Servants.

160

Mrs. Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on be bid you set it down, obey him. your shoulders: your master is hard at door; if Quickly;

dispatch.

[Exit.

117

First Serv. Come, come, take it up.
Sec. Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of knight

again.

First Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so 121

much lead.

are you any way then to unfool me again? Set me. Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, Satisfy me once more; once more search with down the basket, villains. Somebody call my wide. Youth in a basket! O you panderly rasas there's a knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy gainst me: now shall the devil be shamed. What, wife, I say! Come, come forth! Bewhat honest clothes you send forth to

Mrs. Ford. What ho, Mistress Page! come you and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber.

Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd

horns;

32

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.

72

Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,

And there he blasts the tree, and takes the Finely attired in a robe of white.

cattle,

And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a

chain

In a most hideous and dreadful manner:

You have heard of such a spirit, and well you

know

The superstitious idle-headed eld

Receiv'd and did deliver to our age
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

36

Page. That silk will I go buy:-[Aside] and in that time

Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away,

76

And marry her at Eton. Go, send to Falstaff straight.

Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook; He'll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that. Go, get us properties,

Page. that And tricking for our fairies.

do fear

In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak.

But what of this?

Mrs. Ford.

40

That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,
Marry, this is our device;
Disguis'd like Herne with huge horns on his
44

head.

Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll

come,

And in this shape when you have brought him

thither,

What shall be done with him? what is your

plot?

Mrs. Page. That likewise have we thought |

upon, and thus:

48

Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,
And three or four more of their growth, we'll

dress

Like urchins, ouphs and fairies, green and

white,

80

Eva. Let us about it: it is admirable pleasures and fery honest knaveries.

84

[Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS. Mrs. Page. Go, Mistress Ford, Send Quickly to Sir John, to know his mind. [Exit MISTRESS FORD. I'll to the doctor: he hath my good will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; 88

And him my husband best of all affects:

The doctor is well money'd, and his friends

Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her,
Though twenty thousand worthier come to
crave her.
[Exit.

SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Host and SIMPLE.

Host. What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short,

Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from Master Slender.

With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads, 52 quick, snap.
And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once

We two in great amazedness will fly:

Then let them all encircle him about,
And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread

In shape profane.

Mrs. Ford.

And till he tell the truth,

5

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his 56 castle, his standing-bed and truckle-bed: 'tis

60

Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound
And burn him with their tapers.
Mrs. Page.
The truth being known, 64
We'll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.
The children must

Ford.

Be practis'd well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.
Eva. I will teach the children their be-
Lariours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes
o, to burn the knight with my taber.

painted about with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go knock and call: he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: knock, I say.

II

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber: I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down; I come to speak with her, indeed.

15

Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call. Bully knight! Bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

20

Fal. [Above.] How now, mine host!
Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the

coming down of thy fat woman. Let her de-
scend, bully; let her descend; my chambers are
honourable: fie! privacy? fie!

24