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And, if her brood of infects dies,
You fage affiftance lend her;
Can stoop to pimp for am'rous flies,
And help 'em to engender.

'Tis you protect their pregnant hour;
And when the birth's at hand,
Exerting your obstetric pow'r
Prevent a mothless land.

Yet oh! howe'er your tow'ring view
Above grofs objects rifes,
Whate'er refinements you pursue,

Hear, what a friend advises:

A friend, who, weigh'd with yours, must prize DOMITIAN'S idle passion;

That wrought the death of teazing flies,

But ne'er their propagation.

Let FLAVIA's eyes more deeply warm,
Nor thus your hearts determine,
To flight dame nature's faireft form
And figh for nature's vermin.

And speak with some respect of beaux,
Nor more as triflers treat 'em :
'Tis better learn to fave one's cloaths,
Than cherish moths, that eat 'em.

The

The EXTENT of COOKERY.

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Aliufque et idem.

Hen Toм to CAMBRIDGE firft was fent,
A plain brown bob he wore ;

Read much, and look'd as tho' he meant

To be a fop no more.

See him to LINCOLN'S-INN repair,

His refolution flag;

He cherishes a length of hair,

And tucks it in a bag.

Nor COKE nor SALKELD he regards,

But gets into the house,

And soon a judge's rank rewards
His pliant votes and bows.

Adieu ye bobs! ye bags give place!
Full-bottoms come instead!

Good L-d! to fee the various ways
Of dreffing-a calve's-head!

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The PROGRESS of ADVICE.

A Common CASE.

Suade, nam certum eft.

Ays RICHARD to THOMAS (and feem'd half afraid) "I am thinking to marry thy mistress's maid: Now, because Mrs. Lucy to thee is well known, I will do't if thou bid'ft me, or let it alone.

Nay don't make a jeft on't; 'tis no jeft to me;
For 'faith I'm in earnest, so prithee be free.
I have no fault to find with the girl fince I knew her,
But I'd have thy advice, e'er I tye myself to her."

Said THOMAS to RICHARD, "To speak my opinion, There is not fuch a bitch in King GEORGE's dominion, And I firmly believe, if thou knew'ft her as I do, Thou wou'dft chufe out a whipping poft, first to be ty'd to.

She's peevish, fhe's thievish, fhe's ugly, fhe's old, And a lyar, and a fool, and a flut, and a scold." Next day RICHARD haften'd to church and was wed, And,ere night,had inform'd her what THOMAS had faid.

A BAL

A BAL L A D.

Trabit fua quemque voluptas.

Rom Lincoln to London rode forth our young squire, To bring down awife, whom the fwains might admire: But in spite of whatever the mortal cou'd say, The goddess objected the length of the way !

To give up the op'ra, the park, and the ball,
For to view the ftag's horns in an old country-hall;
To have neither China nor India to fee!

Nor a lace-man to plague in a morning—not she!

To forfake the dear play-house, Quin, Garrick, & Clive,
Who by dint of mere humour had kept her alive;
To forego the full box for his lonesome abode,
O heav'ns! she shou'd faint, fhe fhou'd dye on the road!

To forget the gay fashions and geftures of France, And to leave dear Auguste in the midst of the dance, And Harlequin too!-'twas in vain to require it; And she wonder'd how folks had the face to defire it.

She might yield to refign the fweet-fingers of Ruckholt,
Where the citizen-matron feduces her cuckold;
But Ranelagh foon wou'd her footsteps recall,
And the mufic, the lamps, and the glare of Vaux-hall.

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To be fure fhe cou'd breathe no where elfe than in town.
Thus fhe talk'd like a wit, and he look'd like a clown;
But the while honest Harry despair'd to fucceed,
A coach with a coronet trail'd her to Tweed.

SLENDER'S Ghoft. vid. SHAKESPEAR.

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Eneath a church-yard yew,

Decay'd and worn with age,
At dusk of eve methought I spy'd

Poor SLENDER's ghoft, that whimp'ring cry'd,
O fweet O fweet ANNE PAGE!

Ye gentle bards! give ear!

Who talk of amorous rage,

Who fpoil the lilly, rob the rofe,
Come learn of me to weep your woes:
O fweet O fweet ANNE PAGE!

Why fhou'd fuch labour'd strains
Your formal mufe engage?

I never dreamt of flame or dart,

That fir'd my breast, or pierc'd my heart,
But figh'd, O fweet ANNE PAGE!

And

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