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which I don't like quite so well, I shall finish off his education myself; and have this very morning taken an oath, that I won't trust him out of my sight, a single moment, for three years to come. So, you see, if you can put
up with Ned's company, and odd ways, why, I shall be very ready to meet you, that's all :what say you?
Sen. O pray, be under no anxiety about me, Mr Testy; the company of a son of yours, Sir, cannot possibly distress me; and, with respect to his turn for quotation, it may serve to beguile our attention, occasionally, from the detail of our sorrows. Besides, I am at certain times, by no means, uninfected with
, the mania, myself.—With my best respects to Mr Edward Testy, then, your most ober dient.
DIALOGUE THE SECOND.
“ Hinc exaudiri Gemitus.”_VIR.
MISERIES OF THE COUNTRY.
Testy, Senior and Junior.- Sensitive.
Sensitive. Well, Mr Testy ; here I am, punctual as a lover to our wretched assignation, and little doubting that you have found the country quite as fertile in felicities as I have :—What, my dear Sir, is the result of your rambles ?
Tes. What ?—Why, that I shall, henceforth, leave to Mrs C. Smith, the whole honour and pleasure of trying“Rambles farther:" _“O rus! quando te aspiciam ?" indeed !-Why, never again while I live-and that won't be a great while, I guess, if I continue to rusticate much longer-notwithstanding the “ toughness of my texture," upon which you were once pleased to compliment me.
And, pray, what have you done?-or rather, what have you suffered ?—though, in truth, “miserable, doing, or suffering," seems to be our standing motto.
Sen. My melancholy memoranda will but too fully answer your question ;-for, in pursuance of our plan, I have, in every instance, faithfully committed to paper the passing perplexity of the moment.
Tes. And I.-Come, then let us at once produce our memorabilia, and proceed to exchange their contents ?–Give me leave to begin.
Sen. Willingly, Sir; and the more so, as I shall thereby enjoy (enjoy!) a momentary respite from the lashes of memory.
Tes. (Hastily running over his papers,) Thank you, thank you ;-aye, here they are, biting, and stinging, wherever I set my finger ! Well, well! no matter—to business. I begin, I see, with some of the delights of walking in
, the country :—what say you, then, to
GROAN 1. (Testy.) The sole of the shoe torn down in walking, and obliging you to lift your foot, and limp along, like a pig in a string :-no knife in your pocket, nor house within reach!
2. (T.) The boot continually taking in gravel; while, for a time, you try to calm your feelings by believing it to be only hard dirt, and vainly hope that it will presently relieve you by pulverising.
3. (T.) Suddenly rousing yourself from the ennui of a solitary walk by striking your toe (with a corn at the end of it).full and hard against the sharp corner of a fixed flint: pumps.
Ned Tes. Nay, father, such a kick as that would pay you for the pain, by driving out the corn :
segetem ab radicibus imis Expulsam erueret.”
VIR. Sen. Nay, if you are for corns, listen to
4. (SENSITIVE.) Walking all day, in very hot weather, in a pair of new shoes far too tight both in length and breadth :
corns on every toe.
Tes. There you beat me, to be sure ;-but .
; it is the only triumph you will have, and so make the most of it.-Beat what follows, if you can: