of the cramp, by stretching out your limbs, and lying as still as a mouse. 24. (S.) In sickness-the tender persecution you undergo from your female friends, while, after a restless night, you are beginning, towards the evening of the following day, to drop into a delicious doze in your chair; but which they will, on no account, suffer you to enjoy, settling it with each other that you are to be carefully shaken, and well tormented, every half minute-one crying, "Don't go to sleep!" -another, " you had better go to bed!"a third, "you'll certainly take cold!"-a fourth, "you'll spoil your rest at night," &c. &c. Ned Tes. "alterius sic Altera poscit opem, et conjurat amicè." HOR. 25. (T.) Labouring in vain to disentangle your medicinescales; till, after fretting, twisting, and twirling, for half the morning, to no purpose, you are, at last, obliged to weigh your dose (Tartar Emetic, or, James's Powders,) as you can, with all the strings in a Gordian knot-one scale topsy-turvy, and the other turvy-topsy, &c. Sen. Yes; and this when, "If thou tak'st more or less, be it but so much As makes it light, or heavy, in the substance, Or the division, of the twentieth part Of one poor scruple-nay, if the scale turn Thou diest! Merch. of Venice. 26. (S.) The interval between the dentist's confession that your tooth will be very difficult to draw, and the commencement of the attempt. 27. (T.) Groping and stirring with a needle after a thorn in your finger, in hopes of wheedling out the peeping black atom; which, however, proves too cunning at last, for you, and your needle to help you. 28. (S.) In a fire-side circle-sitting with your head close to a gaping cranny, which keeps up a steady whisper, full in your ear, the whole evening long; a whisper, however, from which you, at least, learn something-the nature of the ear-ache! 29. (S.) Rashly confessing that you have a slight cold in the hearing of certain elderly ladies of the faculty, who instantly form themselves into a consultation upon your case, and assail you with a volley of nostrums, all of which, if you would have a moment's peace, you must solemnly promise to take off before night-though well satisfied that they would retaliate, by taking you OFF before morning! 30. (T.) When in the gout-receiving the ruinous salutation of a muscular friend (a sea-captain) who, seizing your hand in the first transports of a sudden meeting, affectionately crumbles your chalky knuckles with the gripe of a grappling-iron; and then, further confirms his regard for you, by greeting your tenderest toe with the stamp of a charger. Sen. O, the ruthless ruffian! Tes. Ruthless!-Mr Sensitive, I actually went mad on the spot with pain and rage. Sen. And, in your raving fit, you did not exclaim, I dare say, recepto Dulce mihi furere est amico!" HOR. Tes. No, you may venture to think not;— I left that quotation for my friend, who, to do him justice, seemed to feel the beauty of the sentiment in all its force; and, unluckily for me, to wish that I should feel it too!-But let us get on : 31. (T.) The buzz of a struggling insect who has limed himself in your ear. Sen. A disagreeable intrusion, without dispute;-but I should think that the insect you formerly mentioned, which domiciliated itself in your eye, must have enraged you still more. Ned Tes. Yes: Segniùs irritant animos demissa per aures, Quam quæ sunt oculis subjecta." HOR. Tes. Well, well, you and Horace may settle that difficulty between you, for I can not;—though it is not for want of pretty good experience in both; for I seldom pass a day without an opportunity of comparing notes between the two;-one would think I was all over eyes and ears, like Virgil's Fame.-But, come, have you any more ready misery in pocket? For my part, I find that, for the present, my memory is out. Sen. And mine ;-but only for the present; -for, in the first place, the surface of the body presents far too many points of contact to "The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune," to leave us any hope that we have yet been visited in every vulnerable part; and in the next place, the weapons of that goddess are far too various in their forms, and natures, to let us flatter ourselves that she has already introduced us to the whole circle of her tortures. But though we have still a long arrear of individual "groans," I really believe that we have, at length, exhausted the number of their general heads. All, therefore, that seems now to remain, is that, after a necessary interval of repose, we should meet once T |